Somewhere in the universe, there is a love for each and every one of us, mostly an anal prober but still, a love for each of us.
People want to love, be loved, get loved, even if it's just an anal probe by Gurk the Alien Overlord from Planet X'Ergo.
Last night, I had a discussion, a talk, a something a something, with a friend, right now, in this thing called erotic art or life to you mortals, she is finding it rough.
She has lost her best worker to a world full of gay dance clubs(IT ME!!!!) and massage parlors.
Her love life is DOA and her career as a pornographic mime isn't doing that great.
I've tried to tell her numerous times to run away from the circus, become a prostitute or a television executive, and forget about finding love.
I know, I for one found love when I wasn't looking for it. It just happened.
People think they have to have someone porking them from behind to be happy.
I say, sometimes it's nice to just to be anally probed and later, a nice conversation about life, beer and monkeys.
Conversation is what I miss the most, being able to come home, tell my lover all the fun stuff and then we'd both laugh about things.
Cuddling on the couch, holding hands, making kissy faces was pretty nice too.
You could have the worst day ever, but a true friend and lover knows exactly how to make you smile once more: a bottle of cheap beer and a blow jo...I mean, they just know exactly how to make you smile.
Course, I could go through life without a lover in my life, it's nice to have someone to come home to but, well, if I never meet another, I already had the best.
Back to my friend, she's a mess. If you have me as a friend and I'm giving you advice, and the saddest part is, you're taking it, you are a mess!
But hey, I give pretty good advice, even if I don't ever follow my own advice.
- Don't go looking for love, you'l find something but it'll probably be a fungus.
- Hate your job? Kill everyone who makes you mad. No wait....
- Your ex being a bitch? TNT!!!!! No wait......
Also, don't eat the yellow snow, it's not lemon, most the time anyways.
Could be lemon, but well, it's probably where I peed.
Sometimes, you just got to go!
If you need to find love, stay away from Match.com and those other sites, they're not going to find you love, more than likely, you'll find Princess Lawanna, and she'll steal your money or try to.
Go to an online chatroom, make your name something sexy even if, in reality, you're not, and sit back and wait as horny people try to amaze you with their spellings of cock, pussy and Magic Bullet.
And trust me, you'll be amazed, as SexyDadinMommysPanties tells you how he wants to put his cuck into your Virginia and make sweet sweet love to you!
The things we do for love, lust or our Virginia!
People, if all else fails, remember -
Course, you're wanting to know one thing, and that one thing is, WHATEVER HAPPENED TO THE OTHER BOSOM BUDDY!!!???
Well, Tom Hanks ate him.
And now you know, the rest of the story!