I've decided to leave Open.Salon forever and ever and never come back!!
My butt hurts!!
"Jessica from Cat Fancy. Why are you flouncing really? Is it the fame? Do you want to become a rap star?"
I'm leaving because...((DRAMATIC PAUSE FOR EFFECT))...I have done everything I set out to do!! I made a dent....((MORE PAUSE))...in the world!!!
"George Hanson from Country and Western Weekly. Is it true you are flouncing because you impregnated Jacob Sugarman's feline companion, Poofy Butt Twiddle Butt?"
LIES!! ALL LIES!! ((DRAMATIC PAUSE FOR BREAK DOWN IN TEARS MOMENT))
I am flouncing to work on my acting career.
Yes Regis, really. Why did you flounce from your show for?
"Kelly told me to do it or she'd kill me!"
Actually, that's the same reason I'm doing it.
Nah! I just want to work on my tan, get some color on my butt, see the world, maybe in my Maidenform Bra!
"Joan H. from Open.Salon! One more question, DO YOU KNOW ANY REPUBLICANS?"
No!! NO! A THOUSAND TIMES NO!!! ~runs off stage in tears~