- Your closet, Indiana, France
- July 16
- President and CEO of Your Mom
- Your closet
- Smell my Paws! Does that smell like poo to you?
Writer? No way! I'm a guy with a cat who knows my passwords and likes to blog!!
Oops, I mean, I'm a cat who likes to blog.
Smell my paws!!! French prostitutes? Only on Tuesdays!! Lets cuddle!!
MY RECENT POSTS
- An ode to my toes in B-Flat -
August 17, 2014 01:48PM
- Governor Rick Perry, your face
inspires me to do things.....
August 16, 2014 04:14PM
- Depression: Wearing Masks
August 12, 2014 04:56PM
- Should M be legalized? A SA
August 11, 2014 04:02PM
- LIFE AFTER DEATH - CHAPTER WHO
KNOWS - SATAN IS CREATED
August 10, 2014 08:24PM
MY RECENT COMMENTS
- “Yay on the
- “It fun to loot!!
Especially after our teams
August 18, 2014 08:17PM
- “NO!! ~flees from the
room, hitting rate with his
tail on the
August 17, 2014 08:41PM
- “Tanks! :D”
August 17, 2014 08:39PM
- “Magic!! :D”
August 17, 2014 06:17PM
After a month and a half on a tropical beach somewhere in New Jersey, I decided to head back to New York City in my pursuit to find Sugarman.
Cranky Cuss had enough of reality TV shows and met up with me at the offices of Salon Media and Plumbing.… Read full post »
I was sitting in the thorn bushes contemplating the great mystery of the universe, "Where the **BEEP** IS JACOB SUGARMAN??"
The silence was deafening as the cosmic forces that built the universe were contemplating their own stuff, basically, who wrote the book of love and where did Ted Kennedy… Read full post »
I opened my email, expecting something awesome, wonderful even and there, sitting in my junk folder (which translates to SUPER AWESOME! ) was an email from:
FEDERAL BUREAU INVESTIGATION
Apparently, The FBI is trying new hosting options for their mail server at terra.com.
FROM: firstname.lastname@example.org… Read full post »
OBUMMERCARE been stinking up the Cover for three months.
Kale is long over due to be thrown out and replaced with radishes.
The newest EP and addition was in November.
Is there any one in the pilot house steering this ship into the iceberg?
~takes a peek~
Guess not! … Read full post »
One of these years I'll get a flash for my camera!! HAPPY NEW YEAR!! So far, 2014 has sucked ass!!! YAY!!!
It seems another year has come and almost gone.
2013 wasn't a great year but it wasn't bad either, it just was like every other year before.
It had its ups (mostly shooting up drugs with an elephant at the Louisville Kentucky Zoo and doing shots of tequila with a… Read full post »
Remember, God is in the pudding, if God = chocolate!When I grow up, I'm going to become a drug lord!! Have my own show on A & E and maybe TLC, LOOK EVERYONE, IT'S HONEY BOO TINK!!!! AND HIS AUNTY!!!! Woo!! I will stand hand and hand with a… Read full post »
It has been a very Merry Christmas.
I opened my email with held breath, as this is the time of year most of my never known relatives in Nigeria decide to die off the most.
And I wasn't disappointed.
SUBJECT: FOR YOUR INFO
This is for your Information,
We wish to not… Read full post »
Happy Merry Christmas and those other holidays in December and January.
The holidays are upon us; Jesus is demanding sacrifice to his father (Wayne Newton - you read your bible, I'll read mine!! When we're both in Hell, we'll figure out what other bible is right! ) and a ham… Read full post »
What do we want?
Pigeons in heat?
Good answer!! Now pull my finger!!!
AND WHEN DO WE WANT IT?
What are we talking about?
Donkey testicles!!!! KALE!!!
NOW! NOW! NOW! Wait, naked Elvis? Who let hi… Read full post »
Wouldn't it be awesome if there was a moderator here on Open? Then you could report me for a bad title!! You real writers are probably going, YOU ASSHOLE!!! HOW WE SUPPOSE TO FIND AN AGENT TO MAKE US INTO SUPER SELLER!!??? TINK, SHOVE IT!!!
I love you!!!
Dearest aliens who abducted our Sugar Cube,
Please let him come home and maybe finish his book about being anal probed by a donkey named Steve Hallenburg!
I know you told me weeks ago he would be allowed to come back in 2069, but by then, I'll be too old to… Read full post »
Tomorrow, the 10th of December, shall be the fifth year of my life as a blogger here on Open.Sore.com.
A lot has happened in five years.
Miley Cyrus turned 21. I still waiting to grow up. We both still stick out our tongues for the cameras.
I fell in lust… Read full post »
Here with the Open.Salon Weather report based out of Beaver Falls, Minnesota is D. Katt -
Now with a look at the current job report, is Bear's new job-
Bear is now working as Pose Bear in Butt Falls, North Carolina. Hunters who like to pose with their kill… Read full post »
Today, after a crappy night's sleep, and no bottle of wine cause the neighbors changed their locks, I was sitting on my favorite chair, looking out the window, admiring the birds mug the little kid from across the street.
He had pumpkin loaf and I was thinking of mugging… Read full post »
Today's blog is being outsourced as it's too funting cold to get out from underneath the covers. For 22 cents, you too can have your own blog outsourced and nobody will know the difference.
Hello! My name is Bob and I come from Houston, Texas! Go Bobcats!
How are you? … Read full post »
I was going through some of my memories in my chest I call a brain.
There was one, a child dancing naked outside in Spokane, Washington.
I asked my mom today, "Did I ever dance naked outside during my childhood?"
"I think it was 1976; it was winter time I… Read full post »
Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, a little over a month early because well, I feel like writing it.
This year, we learned so many things about ourselves; whales could fly, radiation makes the seas clean, stalking is a crime unless you're the NSA then it's called FREEDOM… Read full post »
President Obama lied. So did George Washington through everybody.
President Bill Clinton screwed an intern.
I'd rather have that than some wars based on lies.
Iraq, what did we get out of it?
Afghanistan, what did we get out of it?
Sure the hell wasn't democracy.
CIA tried to… Read full post »
Who let the dawgs out? THE BUTLER DID!!!
Who killed the entire human race with its neutron bomb?
Or aliens from Dallas, Texas!!
And who do we blame?
OBAMA! OBAMA! AND MCCON… Read full post »
"I don't get it!"
"I get it!! An elephant screwing a mouse!! Haha!! LOVE IT!"
"Two dudes making out? What's that got to do with a pee pee in the winter time?"
"I don't get it! Neither does the NSA! A nun beating off a gorilla?… Read full post »
"Hey you! Pull my finger!!!"
Everytime I see Paul Ryan talking about "War on Poverty" I get this feeling he has a different meaning of the words.
"Hunt 'em all down and kill 'em!! Keep the poverty rate low!"
Of course, this sounds like a good idea but I… Read full post »
Today, after getting some dishes done, I sat on my butt and turned on the television.
Not much on, typical, but I hit a show called A Haunting, one I've watched quite a bit.
A Haunting involves stories of people living in haunted houses.
Of course, in my sick twisted mind,… Read full post »
A second post for the day - cause I'm bored!!!
Everyone here is wrong! WRONG! WRONG!
Nobody, as in life, realizes it till they are this close to death and even then, we just go, welp, I'm dying, so who gives a fluck!
People seem to like to blah blah blah… Read full post »