Tinkerertink69

Tinkerertink69
Location
Your closet, Indiana, France
Birthday
July 16
Title
President and CEO of Your Mom
Company
Your closet
Bio
Smell my Paws! Does that smell like poo to you? Writer? No way! I'm a guy with a cat who knows my passwords and likes to blog!! What? Oops, I mean, I'm a cat who likes to blog. Smell my paws!!! French prostitutes? Only on Tuesdays!! Lets cuddle!!

Tinkerertink69's Links

Salon.com

1c

After a month and a half on a tropical beach somewhere in New Jersey, I decided to head back to New York City in my pursuit to find Sugarman.

Cranky Cuss had enough of reality TV shows and met up with me at the offices of Salon Media and Plumbing.… Read full post »

I was sitting in the thorn bushes contemplating the great mystery of the universe, "Where the **BEEP** IS JACOB SUGARMAN??" 

The silence was deafening as the cosmic forces that built the universe were contemplating their own stuff, basically, who wrote the book of love and where did Ted Kennedy… Read full post »

I opened my email, expecting something awesome, wonderful even and there, sitting in my junk folder (which translates to SUPER AWESOME! ) was an email from:

FEDERAL BUREAU INVESTIGATION

Apparently, The FBI is trying new hosting options for their mail server at terra.com.

FROM: fbi.servce@terra.cRead full post »

OBUMMERCARE been stinking up the Cover for three months.

Kale is long over due to be thrown out and replaced with radishes.

The newest EP and addition was in November.

Is there any one in the pilot house steering this ship into the iceberg?

~takes a peek~

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Guess not!  … Read full post »

JANUARY 1, 2014 9:14AM

ME NAKED!!!

dark

One of these years I'll get a flash for my camera!! HAPPY NEW YEAR!! So far, 2014 has sucked ass!!! YAY!!!

  Read full post »

DECEMBER 31, 2013 1:23AM

WORDS OF ADVICE FOR THE NEW YEAR

Untitled-1 

It seems another year has come and almost gone.

2013 wasn't a great year but it wasn't bad either, it just was like every other year before.

It had its ups (mostly shooting up drugs with an elephant at the Louisville Kentucky Zoo and doing shots of tequila with a… Read full post »

DECEMBER 28, 2013 3:55PM

LIFE LESSONS #69 - Monkey poop!

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Remember, God is in the pudding, if God = chocolate!

When I grow up, I'm going to become a drug lord!! Have my own show on A & E and maybe TLC, LOOK EVERYONE, IT'S HONEY BOO TINK!!!! AND HIS AUNTY!!!! Woo!! I will stand hand and hand with a… Read full post »
DECEMBER 25, 2013 11:04AM

MY DECEASED LEAVES ME INHERITANCE - WOO!

It has been a very Merry Christmas. 

Or something.

I opened my email with held breath, as this is the time of year most of my never known relatives in Nigeria decide to die off the most. 

And I wasn't disappointed.

TO: YOU
FROM: ME
SUBJECT: FOR YOUR INFO

This is for your Information,

We wish to not
Read full post »

DECEMBER 24, 2013 6:41AM

Happy Fourth of July! No wait....

Happy Merry Christmas and those other holidays in December and January.

card1

The holidays are upon us; Jesus is demanding sacrifice to his father (Wayne Newton - you read your bible, I'll read mine!! When we're both in Hell, we'll figure out what other bible is right! ) and a ham… Read full post »

thelily2

What do we want?

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Pigeons in heat?

angusinsnow2

KALE!!!!?

paul-ryan

Good answer!! Now pull my finger!!!

thelily2 

AND WHEN DO WE WANT IT? 

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KALE?  

Sarah-Palin-at-Podium

What are we talking about?

oma1

Donkey testicles!!!! KALE!!!

angusinsnow2

NOW! NOW! NOW! Wait, naked Elvis? Who let hiRead full post »

DECEMBER 15, 2013 2:21PM

MERRY CHRISTMAS YOU ASSHOLES!!!!

Wouldn't it be awesome if there was a moderator here on Open?  Then you could report me for a bad title!! You real writers are probably going, YOU ASSHOLE!!! HOW WE SUPPOSE TO FIND AN AGENT TO MAKE US INTO SUPER SELLER!!??? TINK, SHOVE IT!!!

I love you!!!

cat_christmas_card  Read full post »

DECEMBER 11, 2013 7:21PM

JACOB SUGARMAN, PLEASE COME HOME!!!

Dearest aliens who abducted our Sugar Cube,

Please let him come home and maybe finish his book about being anal probed by a donkey named Steve Hallenburg!

I know you told me weeks ago he would be allowed to come back in 2069, but by then, I'll be too old to… Read full post »

Tomorrow, the 10th of December, shall be the fifth year of my life as a blogger here on Open.Sore.com.

A lot has happened in five years.

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Miley Cyrus turned 21.  I still waiting to grow up. We both still stick out our tongues for the cameras.

I fell in lust… Read full post »

DECEMBER 7, 2013 2:53PM

THE OPEN.SALON NEWS REPORT

Here with the Open.Salon Weather report based out of Beaver Falls, Minnesota is D. Katt -

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Now with a look at the current job report, is Bear's new job-

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Bear is now working as Pose Bear in Butt Falls, North Carolina.  Hunters who like to pose with their kill… Read full post »

DECEMBER 5, 2013 2:57PM

NEW MEMBERS AND THE LIFE OF OPEN.SALON

 

 

 

Today, after a crappy night's sleep, and no bottle of wine cause the neighbors changed their locks, I was sitting on my favorite chair, looking out the window, admiring the birds mug the little kid from across the street.

He had pumpkin loaf and I was thinking of mugging… Read full post »

DECEMBER 4, 2013 11:51PM

THE OUTSOURCED BLOG - HOW ARE YOU?

Today's blog is being outsourced as it's too funting cold to get out from underneath the covers.  For 22 cents, you too can have your own blog outsourced and nobody will know the difference.

 


Hello!  My name is Bob and I come from Houston, Texas! Go Bobcats!

 

How are you? … Read full post »

I was going through some of my memories in my chest I call a brain.  

There was one, a child dancing naked outside in Spokane, Washington.

I asked my mom today, "Did I ever dance naked outside during my childhood?"

"I think it was 1976; it was winter time I… Read full post »

NOVEMBER 29, 2013 4:08AM

HAPPY HOLIDAYS WORLD!

PEACE1

Hello world,

Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, a little over a month early because well, I feel like writing it.

This year, we learned so many things about ourselves; whales could fly, radiation makes the seas clean, stalking is a crime unless you're the NSA then it's called FREEDOM… Read full post »

NOVEMBER 28, 2013 4:02PM

President Anybody lies. Get over it!

oma1

President Obama lied. So did George Washington through everybody.

President Bill Clinton screwed an intern.

I'd rather have that than some wars based on lies.

Iraq, what did we get out of it?

Afghanistan, what did we get out of it?

Sure the hell wasn't democracy.

CIA tried to… Read full post »

angry-monkey-739979

PARTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

Who let the dawgs out? THE BUTLER DID!!!

WOOOOOO!!!!

 

 

 

Who killed the entire human race with its neutron bomb?

JFK!! JFK!!!

Or aliens from Dallas, Texas!!

ALIENS! ALIENS!

And who do we blame?

OBAMA! OBAMA! AND MCCON… Read full post »

It is the year 2071, I am still in my parent's basement writing horrible blogs and drinking grape Shasta but the future is grand.

Grape Shasta still only costs like 99 cents a bottle. 

There's 8 million channels on the television set and still nothing on but reality shows… Read full post »

dark

Sarah-Palin-at-Podium

"I don't get it!" 

paul-ryan

"I get it!! An elephant screwing a mouse!! Haha!! LOVE IT!"

johnboehner

"Two dudes making out? What's that got to do with  a pee pee in the winter time?"

oma1 

"I don't get it! Neither does the NSA! A nun beating off a gorilla?Read full post »

NOVEMBER 23, 2013 2:27PM

WAR ON POVERTY - Nuke 'em all!

 

Paul Ryan

 "Hey you! Pull my finger!!!" 

Everytime I see Paul Ryan talking about "War on Poverty" I get this feeling he has a different meaning of the words.

"Hunt 'em all down and kill 'em!! Keep the poverty rate low!"

Of course, this sounds like a good idea but I… Read full post »

NOVEMBER 22, 2013 2:15PM

HOW TO TELL YOUR HOUSE MAY BE HAUNTED

Today, after getting some dishes done, I sat on my butt and turned on the television.

Not much on, typical, but I hit a show called A Haunting, one I've watched quite a bit.

A Haunting involves stories of people living in haunted houses.

Of course, in my sick twisted mind,… Read full post »

A second post for the day - cause I'm bored!!! 

Everyone here is wrong! WRONG! WRONG!

Nobody, as in life, realizes it till they are this close to death and even then, we just go, welp, I'm dying, so who gives a fluck!

People seem to like to blah blah blah… Read full post »