Tinkerertink69

Tinkerertink69
Location
Your closet, Indiana, France
Birthday
July 16
Title
President and CEO of Your Mom
Company
Your closet
Bio
Smell my Paws! Does that smell like poo to you? Writer? No way! I'm a guy with a cat who knows my passwords and likes to blog!! What? Oops, I mean, I'm a cat who likes to blog. Smell my paws!!! French prostitutes? Only on Tuesdays!! Lets cuddle!!

MY RECENT POSTS

Tinkerertink69's Links

Salon.com
DECEMBER 25, 2013 11:04AM

MY DECEASED LEAVES ME INHERITANCE - WOO!

It has been a very Merry Christmas. 

Or something.

I opened my email with held breath, as this is the time of year most of my never known relatives in Nigeria decide to die off the most. 

And I wasn't disappointed.

TO: YOU
FROM: ME
SUBJECT: FOR YOUR INFO

This is for your Information,

We wish to not
Read full post »

DECEMBER 24, 2013 6:41AM

Happy Fourth of July! No wait....

Happy Merry Christmas and those other holidays in December and January.

card1

The holidays are upon us; Jesus is demanding sacrifice to his father (Wayne Newton - you read your bible, I'll read mine!! When we're both in Hell, we'll figure out what other bible is right! ) and a ham… Read full post »

thelily2

What do we want?

154620606

Pigeons in heat?

angusinsnow2

KALE!!!!?

paul-ryan

Good answer!! Now pull my finger!!!

thelily2 

AND WHEN DO WE WANT IT? 

c480x270_37

KALE?  

Sarah-Palin-at-Podium

What are we talking about?

oma1

Donkey testicles!!!! KALE!!!

angusinsnow2

NOW! NOW! NOW! Wait, naked Elvis? Who let hiRead full post »

DECEMBER 15, 2013 2:21PM

MERRY CHRISTMAS YOU ASSHOLES!!!!

Wouldn't it be awesome if there was a moderator here on Open?  Then you could report me for a bad title!! You real writers are probably going, YOU ASSHOLE!!! HOW WE SUPPOSE TO FIND AN AGENT TO MAKE US INTO SUPER SELLER!!??? TINK, SHOVE IT!!!

I love you!!!

cat_christmas_card  Read full post »

DECEMBER 11, 2013 7:21PM

JACOB SUGARMAN, PLEASE COME HOME!!!

Dearest aliens who abducted our Sugar Cube,

Please let him come home and maybe finish his book about being anal probed by a donkey named Steve Hallenburg!

I know you told me weeks ago he would be allowed to come back in 2069, but by then, I'll be too old to… Read full post »

Tomorrow, the 10th of December, shall be the fifth year of my life as a blogger here on Open.Sore.com.

A lot has happened in five years.

miley-cyrus-ama-2013-650

Miley Cyrus turned 21.  I still waiting to grow up. We both still stick out our tongues for the cameras.

I fell in lust… Read full post »

DECEMBER 7, 2013 2:53PM

THE OPEN.SALON NEWS REPORT

Here with the Open.Salon Weather report based out of Beaver Falls, Minnesota is D. Katt -

ngbbs45c2a8516a304 

Now with a look at the current job report, is Bear's new job-

 index_8_3245074718

Bear is now working as Pose Bear in Butt Falls, North Carolina.  Hunters who like to pose with their kill… Read full post »

DECEMBER 5, 2013 2:57PM

NEW MEMBERS AND THE LIFE OF OPEN.SALON

 

 

 

Today, after a crappy night's sleep, and no bottle of wine cause the neighbors changed their locks, I was sitting on my favorite chair, looking out the window, admiring the birds mug the little kid from across the street.

He had pumpkin loaf and I was thinking of mugging… Read full post »

DECEMBER 4, 2013 11:51PM

THE OUTSOURCED BLOG - HOW ARE YOU?

Today's blog is being outsourced as it's too funting cold to get out from underneath the covers.  For 22 cents, you too can have your own blog outsourced and nobody will know the difference.

 


Hello!  My name is Bob and I come from Houston, Texas! Go Bobcats!

 

How are you? … Read full post »

I was going through some of my memories in my chest I call a brain.  

There was one, a child dancing naked outside in Spokane, Washington.

I asked my mom today, "Did I ever dance naked outside during my childhood?"

"I think it was 1976; it was winter time I… Read full post »

NOVEMBER 29, 2013 4:08AM

HAPPY HOLIDAYS WORLD!

PEACE1

Hello world,

Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, a little over a month early because well, I feel like writing it.

This year, we learned so many things about ourselves; whales could fly, radiation makes the seas clean, stalking is a crime unless you're the NSA then it's called FREEDOM… Read full post »

NOVEMBER 28, 2013 4:02PM

President Anybody lies. Get over it!

oma1

President Obama lied. So did George Washington through everybody.

President Bill Clinton screwed an intern.

I'd rather have that than some wars based on lies.

Iraq, what did we get out of it?

Afghanistan, what did we get out of it?

Sure the hell wasn't democracy.

CIA tried to… Read full post »

angry-monkey-739979

PARTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

Who let the dawgs out? THE BUTLER DID!!!

WOOOOOO!!!!

 

 

 

Who killed the entire human race with its neutron bomb?

JFK!! JFK!!!

Or aliens from Dallas, Texas!!

ALIENS! ALIENS!

And who do we blame?

OBAMA! OBAMA! AND MCCON… Read full post »

It is the year 2071, I am still in my parent's basement writing horrible blogs and drinking grape Shasta but the future is grand.

Grape Shasta still only costs like 99 cents a bottle. 

There's 8 million channels on the television set and still nothing on but reality shows… Read full post »

dark

Sarah-Palin-at-Podium

"I don't get it!" 

paul-ryan

"I get it!! An elephant screwing a mouse!! Haha!! LOVE IT!"

johnboehner

"Two dudes making out? What's that got to do with  a pee pee in the winter time?"

oma1 

"I don't get it! Neither does the NSA! A nun beating off a gorilla?Read full post »

NOVEMBER 23, 2013 2:27PM

WAR ON POVERTY - Nuke 'em all!

 

Paul Ryan

 "Hey you! Pull my finger!!!" 

Everytime I see Paul Ryan talking about "War on Poverty" I get this feeling he has a different meaning of the words.

"Hunt 'em all down and kill 'em!! Keep the poverty rate low!"

Of course, this sounds like a good idea but I… Read full post »

NOVEMBER 22, 2013 2:15PM

HOW TO TELL YOUR HOUSE MAY BE HAUNTED

Today, after getting some dishes done, I sat on my butt and turned on the television.

Not much on, typical, but I hit a show called A Haunting, one I've watched quite a bit.

A Haunting involves stories of people living in haunted houses.

Of course, in my sick twisted mind,… Read full post »

A second post for the day - cause I'm bored!!! 

Everyone here is wrong! WRONG! WRONG!

Nobody, as in life, realizes it till they are this close to death and even then, we just go, welp, I'm dying, so who gives a fluck!

People seem to like to blah blah blah… Read full post »

NOVEMBER 21, 2013 11:54AM

CIVILITY - BETTER THAN SEX WITH KALE!

stop-communism 

The other day, an Open Regular decided to write the Powers That Be (which I don't think exists but it's nice the janitor replied to the email!! Thanks Hank!!!) about an issue going on here (no toilet paper!! WE NEED TOILET PAPER!!! WHEN DO WE WANT IT? NOW! NOW! NOW!… Read full post »

magic1

It's 12:43 in the morning and all the good people of the universe are asleep and dreaming of apples and giant penguins eating them.

Where are you?

In some comic book made in 1962, I believe, made by Dell, Romantic Novel Issue #22.

It costed a nickel back then, today,… Read full post »

blah1

 blah1

Tonight, I took a walk, down the road, across the field, over something; a dead body? I do not know.

I did not look, as I did not want to know, because it could have been Jimmy Hoffa's body, laying there,  waiting to be found.

I made it… Read full post »

NOVEMBER 15, 2013 12:58AM

JUNIOR SPACEMEN AND YOUR MOM'S V-8!

 

 

Today, I decided to do an experiment and took about a billion career tests for different companies all around the world.

I discovered that the truth isn't good and it's best to lie.

And if asked, "What would be the WORST action to take in this situation?" to answer… Read full post »

I knew it!! I just knew it!

NASA is hiding secret cities on Mars with transporters and headless monkey rulers!

 

 

I was cruising the YouTube when I ventured into that strange part where headless monkeys in general make videos of Cleveland Rock REDUX!

Very scary.

This video shows… Read full post »

I've been trying to figure out this thing called life.  I was closing in on the answer and was ready to post it here when I went to look in my mail box for some ads for pee pee pills.

The answer to this thing called life disappeared when I opened… Read full post »

6088695_f520

While guzzling down a bottle of cold medicine, I began to think about some of the life lessons I have learned.

Some of these have come from my day-to-day life while I walk towards infinity, others, I have discovered while sitting on the bathroom throne waiting for Wayne to drop into… Read full post »