- Your closet, Indiana, France
- July 16
- President and CEO of Your Mom
- Your closet
- Smell my Paws! Does that smell like poo to you?
Writer? No way! I'm a guy with a cat who knows my passwords and likes to blog!!
Oops, I mean, I'm a cat who likes to blog.
Smell my paws!!! French prostitutes? Only on Tuesdays!! Lets cuddle!!
MY RECENT POSTS
- Tink goes looking for love -
AND FINDS IT!
September 21, 2014 11:41AM
- For everybody who sticks with
Open.Salon - WOO!
September 20, 2014 10:59PM
- Boobies and frucks!!!
September 20, 2014 12:47PM
- Still Waiting for Answer -
Adooling is still a microbrew!
September 19, 2014 10:07PM
- Arm the penguins - Should we?
September 18, 2014 02:39PM
MY RECENT COMMENTS
- “Alysa, I know, her couch
is sexy!! :D”
- “Design, I thought so!!
James, God sent
- “Awesome!! Demons in the
- “Thanks!!! :D”
- “o/e, lots o party
LOVE test patterns!!!!”
So very very true sad story, I don't even know how Bear survived this adventure.
I know how I survive such sad, sad true stories : FREE BEER!!! And lots of it.
Who wants free beer? YOU DO? Come on over!! Plenty in fridge!! I steal it from liquor… Read full post »
Bobby Brown takes the stage for introduction to Bear's blog
HI!! Bear here today to tell you, hello and check out my birfday hat.
Bears love birfday hat!!!
Who got birfday hat? BEAR DOES!!
What has been going on since last time Tink let me take over his… Read full post »
I keep thinking about joining a cult.
The Democrats seem to be a good cult but then the Republicans have their good side, mostly guys in suits who like to cry and shake their fists at poor people.
I like to do that myself.
I would take a walk right now… Read full post »
WHEN YOU GET DOWN, DANCE!!!
Today, I've been in a strange mood. Actually, last few days I've been in a strange mood.
I ran outside, naked, screaming, THE BRITISH ARE COMING, which is strange as all of us know, the Brits never ever… Read full post »
Hi, my name is me.
Today I come to you as an addict,
I've never been one before.
Heroin and booze, cutting my wrists
to feel the pain,
This makes me complete,
Till the day I die.
Hello, my world friend, I am an
I am down,
Wandering the streets,
Looking for life,
Trying to/… Read full post »
I've been kind of down in the dump. Messages to Jake go unanswered. Even Joan Walsh seems to have disappeared off the face of Planet Treton.
But there was some good stuff going on, stuff that should be reported but isn't because the media is messed up.
Kerry Lauerman is working… Read full post »
Tonight, I opened up my email and peered inside.
Subject: Would you like to get laid tonight?
(Note: NOT REALLY! I did receive a nice email from a Russian lady looking for love and almost posted it here, with picture - SEEN BELOW - )
1.… Read full post »
In my dreams you walk dripping from a sea-journey on the highway across America in tears to the door of my cottage in the Western night, so said the prophet from the edge of space and time.
He would watch the people from the corner of his eyes.
People, people, everywhere, where… Read full post »
We worship at the altar of life itself, wading into pools of blood, left there by generations before.
World, world, soon on fire, dancing through space, time and everything, wondering where we were when everything fell apart; lifeless, brainless monkeys standing at a bus stop, waiting for a tr… Read full post »
Jacob Sugarman isn't dead as previously reported but his stand in monkey is, his testicles (the monkey's, not Jake's!! ) shoved into his mouth.
He was seveteen.
An apparent suicide.
Life is wonderful unless you choke on your own balls.
And even then, it's not too bad.
Unless the… Read full post »
I wrote a story, the first chapter of a book, which I posted at Ours and Zoomers.
Open doesn't deserve it to be posted.
Too many people who believe Satan will win the next season of Dancing with the Stars!!
I was told by priests, who didn't molest… Read full post »
The other day, while the sun shined and the weather God (his name is Frank ) made the clouds drift lightly through a wonderfully blue sky, I took a long walk up what I call The Long Hill.
I thanked Obama for providing such a wonderful day but cursed him for… Read full post »
Jake, kindly youngling and editor to the stars, is dead.
We think The Highlander killed him.
"There can be only one!" we heard Jake yell.
"That's my line asshole!"
And then, as the video above shows, there was sparks, Sean Connery said something about swimming with sharks and… Read full post »
Tired and alone and in a cranky (no relations) mood, I decided to write a letter to Jacob Sugarman, as I'm his biggest fan.
"Dear Jake, Open is lonely without you and the Cover is very dusty, please come back!"
I hit send and sat back in my leather chair waiting… Read full post »
After a month and a half on a tropical beach somewhere in New Jersey, I decided to head back to New York City in my pursuit to find Sugarman.
Cranky Cuss had enough of reality TV shows and met up with me at the offices of Salon Media and Plumbing.… Read full post »
I was sitting in the thorn bushes contemplating the great mystery of the universe, "Where the **BEEP** IS JACOB SUGARMAN??"
The silence was deafening as the cosmic forces that built the universe were contemplating their own stuff, basically, who wrote the book of love and where did Ted Kennedy… Read full post »
I opened my email, expecting something awesome, wonderful even and there, sitting in my junk folder (which translates to SUPER AWESOME! ) was an email from:
FEDERAL BUREAU INVESTIGATION
Apparently, The FBI is trying new hosting options for their mail server at terra.com.
FROM: firstname.lastname@example.org… Read full post »
OBUMMERCARE been stinking up the Cover for three months.
Kale is long over due to be thrown out and replaced with radishes.
The newest EP and addition was in November.
Is there any one in the pilot house steering this ship into the iceberg?
~takes a peek~
Guess not! … Read full post »
One of these years I'll get a flash for my camera!! HAPPY NEW YEAR!! So far, 2014 has sucked ass!!! YAY!!!
It seems another year has come and almost gone.
2013 wasn't a great year but it wasn't bad either, it just was like every other year before.
It had its ups (mostly shooting up drugs with an elephant at the Louisville Kentucky Zoo and doing shots of tequila with a… Read full post »
Remember, God is in the pudding, if God = chocolate!When I grow up, I'm going to become a drug lord!! Have my own show on A & E and maybe TLC, LOOK EVERYONE, IT'S HONEY BOO TINK!!!! AND HIS AUNTY!!!! Woo!! I will stand hand and hand with a… Read full post »
It has been a very Merry Christmas.
I opened my email with held breath, as this is the time of year most of my never known relatives in Nigeria decide to die off the most.
And I wasn't disappointed.
SUBJECT: FOR YOUR INFO
This is for your Information,
We wish to not… Read full post »
Happy Merry Christmas and those other holidays in December and January.
The holidays are upon us; Jesus is demanding sacrifice to his father (Wayne Newton - you read your bible, I'll read mine!! When we're both in Hell, we'll figure out what other bible is right! ) and a ham… Read full post »