- Your closet, Indiana, France
- July 16
- President and CEO of Your Mom
- Your closet
- Smell my Paws! Does that smell like poo to you?
Writer? No way! I'm a guy with a cat who knows my passwords and likes to blog!!
Oops, I mean, I'm a cat who likes to blog.
Smell my paws!!! French prostitutes? Only on Tuesdays!! Lets cuddle!!
MY RECENT POSTS
- What I had for dinner - August
August 01, 2014 07:29PM
- Israeli is right!!!
July 29, 2014 08:48PM
- WHAT I HAD FOR BREAKFAST -
July 29th, 2014
July 29, 2014 11:30AM
- Life as we know it - Chapter
July 27, 2014 01:58PM
- State of Open.Salon -
July 24, 2014 05:09PM
MY RECENT COMMENTS
- “Sorry. ~hug~”
Nick, shhhh, bison
lovers (as in, don't eat
bison, eat a
- “I like cartoons. The
President should have
presented it as a
- “Maybe! Or a beaver.
- “So you having tree limb
for din-din? :D”
It has been a very Merry Christmas.
I opened my email with held breath, as this is the time of year most of my never known relatives in Nigeria decide to die off the most.
And I wasn't disappointed.
SUBJECT: FOR YOUR INFO
This is for your Information,
We wish to not… Read full post »
Happy Merry Christmas and those other holidays in December and January.
The holidays are upon us; Jesus is demanding sacrifice to his father (Wayne Newton - you read your bible, I'll read mine!! When we're both in Hell, we'll figure out what other bible is right! ) and a ham… Read full post »
What do we want?
Pigeons in heat?
Good answer!! Now pull my finger!!!
AND WHEN DO WE WANT IT?
What are we talking about?
Donkey testicles!!!! KALE!!!
NOW! NOW! NOW! Wait, naked Elvis? Who let hi… Read full post »
Wouldn't it be awesome if there was a moderator here on Open? Then you could report me for a bad title!! You real writers are probably going, YOU ASSHOLE!!! HOW WE SUPPOSE TO FIND AN AGENT TO MAKE US INTO SUPER SELLER!!??? TINK, SHOVE IT!!!
I love you!!!
Dearest aliens who abducted our Sugar Cube,
Please let him come home and maybe finish his book about being anal probed by a donkey named Steve Hallenburg!
I know you told me weeks ago he would be allowed to come back in 2069, but by then, I'll be too old to… Read full post »
Tomorrow, the 10th of December, shall be the fifth year of my life as a blogger here on Open.Sore.com.
A lot has happened in five years.
Miley Cyrus turned 21. I still waiting to grow up. We both still stick out our tongues for the cameras.
I fell in lust… Read full post »
Here with the Open.Salon Weather report based out of Beaver Falls, Minnesota is D. Katt -
Now with a look at the current job report, is Bear's new job-
Bear is now working as Pose Bear in Butt Falls, North Carolina. Hunters who like to pose with their kill… Read full post »
Today, after a crappy night's sleep, and no bottle of wine cause the neighbors changed their locks, I was sitting on my favorite chair, looking out the window, admiring the birds mug the little kid from across the street.
He had pumpkin loaf and I was thinking of mugging… Read full post »
Today's blog is being outsourced as it's too funting cold to get out from underneath the covers. For 22 cents, you too can have your own blog outsourced and nobody will know the difference.
Hello! My name is Bob and I come from Houston, Texas! Go Bobcats!
How are you? … Read full post »
I was going through some of my memories in my chest I call a brain.
There was one, a child dancing naked outside in Spokane, Washington.
I asked my mom today, "Did I ever dance naked outside during my childhood?"
"I think it was 1976; it was winter time I… Read full post »
Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, a little over a month early because well, I feel like writing it.
This year, we learned so many things about ourselves; whales could fly, radiation makes the seas clean, stalking is a crime unless you're the NSA then it's called FREEDOM… Read full post »
President Obama lied. So did George Washington through everybody.
President Bill Clinton screwed an intern.
I'd rather have that than some wars based on lies.
Iraq, what did we get out of it?
Afghanistan, what did we get out of it?
Sure the hell wasn't democracy.
CIA tried to… Read full post »
Who let the dawgs out? THE BUTLER DID!!!
Who killed the entire human race with its neutron bomb?
Or aliens from Dallas, Texas!!
And who do we blame?
OBAMA! OBAMA! AND MCCON… Read full post »
"I don't get it!"
"I get it!! An elephant screwing a mouse!! Haha!! LOVE IT!"
"Two dudes making out? What's that got to do with a pee pee in the winter time?"
"I don't get it! Neither does the NSA! A nun beating off a gorilla?… Read full post »
"Hey you! Pull my finger!!!"
Everytime I see Paul Ryan talking about "War on Poverty" I get this feeling he has a different meaning of the words.
"Hunt 'em all down and kill 'em!! Keep the poverty rate low!"
Of course, this sounds like a good idea but I… Read full post »
Today, after getting some dishes done, I sat on my butt and turned on the television.
Not much on, typical, but I hit a show called A Haunting, one I've watched quite a bit.
A Haunting involves stories of people living in haunted houses.
Of course, in my sick twisted mind,… Read full post »
A second post for the day - cause I'm bored!!!
Everyone here is wrong! WRONG! WRONG!
Nobody, as in life, realizes it till they are this close to death and even then, we just go, welp, I'm dying, so who gives a fluck!
People seem to like to blah blah blah… Read full post »
The other day, an Open Regular decided to write the Powers That Be (which I don't think exists but it's nice the janitor replied to the email!! Thanks Hank!!!) about an issue going on here (no toilet paper!! WE NEED TOILET PAPER!!! WHEN DO WE WANT IT? NOW! NOW! NOW!… Read full post »
It's 12:43 in the morning and all the good people of the universe are asleep and dreaming of apples and giant penguins eating them.
Where are you?
In some comic book made in 1962, I believe, made by Dell, Romantic Novel Issue #22.
It costed a nickel back then, today,… Read full post »
Tonight, I took a walk, down the road, across the field, over something; a dead body? I do not know.
I did not look, as I did not want to know, because it could have been Jimmy Hoffa's body, laying there, waiting to be found.
I made it… Read full post »
Today, I decided to do an experiment and took about a billion career tests for different companies all around the world.
I discovered that the truth isn't good and it's best to lie.
And if asked, "What would be the WORST action to take in this situation?" to answer… Read full post »
I knew it!! I just knew it!
NASA is hiding secret cities on Mars with transporters and headless monkey rulers!
I was cruising the YouTube when I ventured into that strange part where headless monkeys in general make videos of Cleveland Rock REDUX!
This video shows… Read full post »
I've been trying to figure out this thing called life. I was closing in on the answer and was ready to post it here when I went to look in my mail box for some ads for pee pee pills.
The answer to this thing called life disappeared when I opened… Read full post »
While guzzling down a bottle of cold medicine, I began to think about some of the life lessons I have learned.
Some of these have come from my day-to-day life while I walk towards infinity, others, I have discovered while sitting on the bathroom throne waiting for Wayne to drop into… Read full post »