I've been away for Christmas, so I just saw Diannani's post on her Monkey Feet:

http://open.salon.com/blog/dianaani/2012/01/02/my_monkey_feet

and recognized a technological breakthrough that is very popular in my T-Party circles.

These are what we call "Cipherin Shoes" ( AKA "Redneck Calculator") They represent a tremendous leap forward in the technology of my ancestors, in that in cold climates, they allow us to do sums up to twenty without suffering frostbitten toes.

Some of us are lucky enough to be able to do sums up to as much as 28. There had been some confusion at the beginning of the invention of cipherin, as to whether digits were decreed by the gods to be base 10 or base 12, but the 10 fingered were slightly in the majority and so won the argument- the law of unintended consequences has made those polydactyls who survived the discussion (and those who occasionally are born into our population) uniquly able to delve into the realm of "Higher Mathematics" (ie- sums above 20)

Update for Leepin larry:

Gazinta Separators

## Comments

Also available in Blue for OWS :)

I could

neversubject my toes to such restraint.R♥

As with most such intellectual pursuits, a devotion to redneck math and engineering requires dedication, discipline and sacrifice. It is not for the faint hearted.

Lezlie

RATED!

Though I've used my fingers as my abacus for years (and never my toes; can't reach that far), I don't ketch yer 'rithmetic. Even if I had 12 fingers and 12 toes, how would I ever manage to get to the number 28?

So flunk me?

R+ and Belated Happy New Year!!

I wear mine every morning when I go to my job of packaging eggs. (If they go to cartons of 2 dozen, I'll probably lose my job to one of the 6 fingered "whiz" kids.

Lezlie

I'm working on a cigarette holder that clips to the gas cap to free up your hands while pumping gas.

Tink-

But aren't yours ALL toes?

podunkmarte

Some of us are very uniquely blessed in terms of higher math functions.:

http://www.dailyindia.com/show/451871.php

The current record is 34

...and useful!

Larry

"Gazintas" and "Times" require further specialized equipment consisting of the requisite number of additional cipherers equipped with cipherin shoes to posses the total number of digits in the "numberator" ( dividend- the number into which one will determine how many gazintas it allows another number, the "denumberator"- (divisor) to have ) The number of additional cipherers required varies not just with the size of the numberator, but also with how many of the cipherers are equipped for higher math functions, and how well equipped they are, *

In practice, gazintas are not practical in any real sense with current technology, it is extremely difficult to find the requisite number of interested cipherers for any but trivial gazintas, and those gifted with higher mathematics capabilities are much valued in this regard.

As a practical matter, such problems are referred to the witch women, or others with "the sight". These individuals some how gaze into the hidden realms and just "know" the answer- for example, the solution of how many gazintas of 7 are there in 42? laborious cipherin by the cipherin shoe method usually only results in a party of drunken and bickering cipherers who have forgotten what the original intent of the exercise was. Consulting the witch women will ordinarily cost you a chicken or so, but the witch woman will go into a trance and tell you that "7" gazinta "42" "6" times. With numberators and denumberators that don't have a "neat" solution ( eg how many gazintas does 5 have in 42?) The additional effort of cipherin the "leftover" will cost an extra egg.

* For example, were the numberator in a Gazinta "42" (say in a problem concerning Life, The Universe, and Everything) One "standard" cipherer (base 10, 20 digits) plus one slightly gifted higher mathematician (22 digits) plus another standard cipherer to cipher the gazintas. would suffice. The two cipherers ( One standard, one gifted-totaling 42 digits ) group their digits by “sevenses”, and the gazinta cipherer keeps track of the gazintas. The employment of a higher mathematics capable cipherer in this instance is extremely useful, in that it allows him to group his own digits evenly by “7” and doesn't entail the invasions of personal space and subsequent fist fights of binding the digits of two separate cipherers into a gazinta grouping.

Let us use the denumberator "7" and the numberator "42". for this gazinta. The cipherers group their digits into groups of seven ( usally with twine, though some mathematicians possess a special "group segregater" used for this function- Most of these are treasured relics from ancestors who tell tales of the time when fancy "newspapers" were available to the upper class in "cities"and were delivered to the homes of the literati bound into a roll by what have come to be treasured among our mathematicians as "Gazinta Groupers" There are tales of Office Depots where one can buy bags of these gazinta separators, but these are largely dismissed as apocryphal.

...and useful!

Larry

"Gazintas" and "Times" require further specialized equipment consisting of the requisite number of additional cipherers equipped with cipherin shoes to posses the total number of digits in the "numberator" ( dividend- the number into which one will determine how many gazintas it allows another number, the "denumberator"- (divisor) to have ) The number of additional cipherers required varies not just with the size of the numberator, but also with how many of the cipherers are equipped for higher math functions, and how well equipped they are, *

In practice, gazintas are not practical in any real sense with current technology, it is extremely difficult to find the requisite number of interested cipherers for any but trivial gazintas, and those gifted with higher mathematics capabilities are much valued.

As a practical matter, such problems are referred to the witch women, or others with "the sight". These individuals some how gaze into the hidden realms and just "know" the answer- for example, the solution of how many gazintas of 7 are there in 42? laborious cipherin by the cipherin shoe method usually only results in a party of drunken and bickering cipherers who have forgotten what the original intent of the exercise was. Consulting the witch women will ordinarily cost you a chicken or so, but the witch woman will go into a trance and tell you that "7" gazinta "42" "6" times. With numberators and denumberators that don't have a "neat" solution ( eg how many gazintas does 5 have in 42?) The additional effort of cipherin the "leftover" will cost an extra egg.

* For example, were the numberator in a Gazinta "42" (say in a problem concerning Life, The Universe, and Everything) One "standard" cipherer (base 10, 20 digits) plus one slightly gifted higher mathematician (22 digits) plus another standard cipherer to cipher the gazintas. would suffice. The two cipherers ( One standard, one gifted-totaling 42 digits ) group their digits by “sevenses”, and the gazinta cipherer keeps track of the gazintas. The use of a higher mathematics capable cipherer in this instance is extremely useful, in that it allows him to group his own digits evenly by “7” and doesn't entail the invasions of personal space and subsequent fist fights of binding the digits of two separate cipherers into a gazinta grouping.

Let us use the denumberator "7" and the numberator "42". for this gazinta. The cipherers group their digits into groups of seven ( usally with twine, though some mathematicians possess a special "group segregater" used for this function- Most of these are treasured relics from ancestors who tell tales of the time when fancy "newspapers" were available to the upper class in "cities"and were delivered to the homes of the literati bound into a roll by what have come to be treasured among our mathematicians as "Gazinta Groupers" There are tales of Office Depots where one can buy bags of these gazinta separators, but these are largely dismissed as apocryphal.

http://thelibrary.org/lochist/periodicals/bittersweet/fa73k.htm