Tom Cordle

Tom Cordle
Beeffee, Tennessee, CSA
June 16
There is your truth ... there is my truth ... and there is everything between. That leads to the better question: Is there an Everlasting Truth? I submit there is only the Everlasting Quest for the truth. __________________________________ I believe that in essence We are God. That is to say, humankind, for all it's faults, has power over Good and Evil. As the Eden Tale intimates, humans alone, in all Creation, have "eaten" from the the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil; and thus humans alone, in all Creation, have the ability and responsibility to choose between the two. Thus, each of us is in essence a god, and the Sum of us, through all generations past, present and future is God. By those choices, we are the creators of what was, what is and what will be. And by those choices, we, collectively, choose whether to exist here and now in the Kingdom of Heaven or in a Living Hell. _________________________________ "I prefer to be true to myself, even at the hazard of incurring the ridicule of others, rather than to be false, and incur my own abhorrence." Frederick Douglass _________________________________ "You can't pull yourself up by your bootstraps if you don't have any boots, and you can't put yourself in another's shoes -- you can't even try on their socks." Soulofhawk _________________________________ "I prefer silent vice to ostentatious virtue." Albert Einstein _________________________________ Only in silence can your hear the voice of God." Soulofhawk ____________________________________ "In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends." Martin Luther King, Jr" ____________________________________ "Racists can hide in the closet, but the smell usually gives them away." Soulofhawk _________________________________ "Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on or by imbeciles who really mean it." Mark Twain ____________________________ "When we are young, Death comes as an unwelcome stranger; but as we get nearer the end of our own too-often rocky road, he comes more and more to resemble a long, lost acquaintance." Soulofhawk ____________________________________ “When monetary gain is involved, mans capacity for self-delusion is infinite.” Lord Byron _________________________________ "Where greed is good, need is great." Soulofhawk _________________________________ “And let it be noted that there is no more delicate matter to take in hand, nor more doubtful in its success, than to set up as a leader in the introduction of change. For he who innovates will have as his enemies all who are well off under the existing order of things, and only lukewarm supporters in those who might be better off under the new. This lukewarm temper arises partly from the incredulity of mankind, who will never admit the merit of anything new, until they have seen it proven by the event.” Niccolo Machiavelli, The Prince, Chapter VI _________________________________ "if a man falls from a pedestal, who is really to blame -- the man or those who put him up there?" Soulofhawk ____________________________________ "The history of any country, presented as the history of a family, conceals fierce conflicts of interest (sometimes exploding, most often repressed) between conquerors and conquered, masters and slaves, capitalists and workers, dominators and dominated in race and sex. And in such a world of conflict, a world of victims and executioners, it is the job of thinking people, as Albert Camus suggested, not to be on the side of the executioners." Howard Zinn _______________________________ "The worst thing to be around a bigot is right." Soulofhawk ______________________________


DECEMBER 20, 2008 10:51AM

Forget Cake Eat More Pie

Rate: 20 Flag
humble_pieCake, cake, cake. I keep hearing all this talk on OS about cake. Is that like “let ‘em eat cake, or what? Meanwhile, all I get here is humble pie.

For those who may not be familiar, humble pie is called that because the filling is made of innards – that’s a nice way of saying stuff you wouldn’t eat if you knew you were eating it. But I'm mincing words here.

Yesterday I had to eat another piece of humble pie. No sooner had I posted my OS adventure in humility, than some new kid on the block shows up and starts spouting a bunch of fancy French terms on his post.

Now I’ve got nothing against the French, but I do have some strong negative feelings about being humiliated – especially by a newbie, even if his resume (see I can speak French, too) makes mine look like fish-wrapper.

Not only that, but I think he’s been doing a Vulcan Mind-Meld or something on me because right off the bat, he starts talking about clichés (more French) at the very moment I’m composing my very next front-page-for-sure fodder for OS about a cliché.

Now I realize I am at a distinct intellectual and cosmopolitan disadvantage living here in the boonies. Separated from sophisticated companions and other accoutrements (French word) of civilization in this secluded mountain semi-paradise, it was easy to convince myself I was exceptional because here I am exceptional.

Not so in this World of Wordcraft, a room filled with raunchy reprobates, wild-eyed revolutionaries and witty repartistes. Here I am a rube among rubies, offal among opals, dirt among diamonds, pork before pearls – but enough of this alliterative excess, I think you catch my scent.

I’m so envious I made up a word to describe the literati here – ossholes – lord, I apologize for that. But do I at least get credit for coining a word? What if I tell you it's a French word?

In short, I am, at best, I now realize, a shallow Philistine. By the way, what language did Philistines speak? Maybe something like that foreign tongue you hear in Philly, et tu, Sally? (I save the bad puns and Shakespearean allusions for when I really wanna walk the dawg).

Perhaps all this is poetic justice, or maybe even some of the instant karma which has been the subject of a lot of discussion of late here on OS. Or should I have said discussion of latte?

Commenting on one of those posts, I resorted to an old cliché familiar in these parts – if you can’t run with the big dogs, stay under the porch. I’m afraid that dog came back to bite my ass. Or as the more literate would have it “I was hoist with my own petard” (damn! another French word).

Actually, I’m going to stop using that cliché now that I’ve learned it would be difficult for anyone to be hoist with a petard – elevated momentarily, maybe, but not hoist. According to Wikipedia, a petard is a fart.

“Etymology: Middle French, from peter, to break wind, from pet expulsion of intestinal gas, from Latin peditum, from neuter of peditus, past participle of pedere, to break wind; akin to Greek bdein to break wind. (Merriam-Webster) Petard remains a French word meaning a firecracker today (in French slang, it means a handgun, or a joint).”

The term was borrowed for a small explosive device – ahem – hence the hoisting in the cliché. Having passed that enlightening information, I return to my previous unpleasant subject – my comeuppance.

In that first serving of humble pie, I mentioned having been taken to the woodshed by a petty pedant who had his way with me, so to speak, for daring to publish my own book. I bring this sore subject up again only to observe that a petard and a pedant have much in common. They're not only spelled a lot alike, both are noxious, ill-mannered and given to small explosions seldom appreciated by others.

Now, can I have another slice of humble pie, please? Are you sure it’s not fartenning?

©2008 Tom Cordle

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Sorry, all out of cake.
I have a theory. Men love pie. Women love cake. Sure, women like pie, too, and men like cake. But our baked goods passions are gender based.
I love pie!!!
What a truly testosterone-laden perspective ... and just when I thought my 4 sons had used fart in every one of its derivitives .... nicely done, Tom ... the boys are proud!!!
sKim - I don't care as long as it's chocolate
I can't say I understand what's going on in this post, but it was certainly fun and informative to read. Thanks!

-- a fellow Philistine
Oh, I should add that writing “I was hoist with my own petard” is hardly the mark of a Philistine. First, the quote correctly reflects Shakespeare, rather than using the just-as-common "by" instead of "with". Second, I also often see "hoisted" rather than "hoist". So for a Philistine, you're pretty damned modest.
This Philistine salutes you, Rob, for observing prepositional pedantry.
I was always under the impression was that a Philistine was a Jewish guy that emigrated to Israel only find that he ran out of gas as he reached the border...... Funny stuff, and not at all halfarted........ Couldn't resist!! Rated.
I think the Philistines just didn't have as good a public relations firm as the Hebrews/
Rob, with this post I was trying to put my tongue in my cheek, but it was hard because my mouth was full of pie.
Wait till that little troll sees you. THEN you'll see some pie, I 'spect.
This makes the use of the phrase "hoist by his own petard" in legal briefs (no pun intended, but there it is) that much more revolting.

Thanks for the etymology.
Elektra, I'll save you a slice as long as you don't eat it with monkey fingers
Con, it is well known that lawyers are a gaseous lot -- which may be why Shakespeare wanted to kill 'em all first
I like cake and pie.

I did however discover something that is pie and cake together: Double dark fudge brownies baked in a flakey pie crust topped with Cherries (topped with whipped cream)

Its better than sex . . . . well almost!

To say that I'm anti-pie is pietarded. I LOVE PIE.

I love cake more - BUT PIE IS GOOD. Cookies are great too. So are pastries. Some puddings are good.

Jello - ::shiver::
LadyMiko - one day soon I'll post my song Chocolate just for you
No offense intended, Freaky, please take an extra piece if you like. But do be careful, humble pie is mighty meaty -- wouldn't wanna be responsible for a tiny rubber troll exploding with his own pietard.
Aw, Tom . . .that would be awesome. One can NEVER go wrong with Chocolate!
At last, a fellow pie lover. Let's have a pie revolution! Let THEM eat cake.

Thanks for the laugh that started a few minutes ago and hasn't really stopped. I had a rough week. It's officially in the past now with the reading of this post. Very funny. Eruditely so. And I LOVE osshole and plan to use it often, though mostly in my mind or in witty asides to the bf. Maybe in OS mail sometimes, where Stellaa and I sometimes meet for coffee and rip ossholes a new one.

petards and pedants also have a way of just hanging around, even when everyone is wrinkling their noses.
This is charged with a wit that had me rolling and grabbing my stomach......I realized i had been shot clean through with Tom's levity arrows!!.....Pure pleasure in this post
Great piece Tom (pardon the pun.) You know you incur the wraith of Freaky though, right?

Like Jack Horner sittin' in the corner... Thumbed.
Tom, sounds DELICIOUS, but sorry, I won't bite. .
I have risen to the rank of erudite osshole, thanks to Sandra, and now I'm going to put her up as Piemate of the month
Gary, are you sure you just haven't had too much pie?
Freaky's the one that can have cake and eat it, too!
Elektra, I'm also nominating bbe as primate of the month
Corey, I believe you meant to say, 'scuse moi francaise, don't be littering up the virtual landscape with illiteration
Damn, Corey, that would be vous wouldn't it? Guess it's time for another slice of humble pie
check it out - big Salon has a piece on
Tom, your sentence, ". . .humble pie is called that because the filling is made of innards – that’s a nice way of saying stuff you wouldn’t eat if you knew you were eating it." made me think of the kind of food our military people are being served in Iraq by military contractors like Halliburton.
Heh. Nice. Men love petard jokes.
"I’m so envious I made up a word to describe the literati here – ossholes – lord, I apologize for that. But do I at least get credit for coining a word? What if I tell you it's a French word?"

I love it -OSSHOLES - sorry I missed the original. This word gets to the heart of it. "Osshole, osshole, osshole, osshole." I just had to hear myself say it a few times.
Rated for humility!
Not sure the antecedents prompting this, but it was very well done in its own right.
My money is on the Philistines to win the pedant next year. For sure. If they don't, we'll likey have some osshole umpier to hoist with a collective Bronx petard.

Word up, Brother T!
designanator - yeah, the infamous shit on a shingle and mystery meat
MTN - yup, here two months and I'm reduced to telling fart jokes to get attention
grif - yeah, and my next new word is ossaholic 'cause that's what I've become
Now I will have to make that apple pie for Dan the Man while the oven is hot today.
Hahaha! This is grand. I love what Irritated Mother stated. Perfect. You also wrote that contemporary Scrooge screenplay piece. You have a great style about your writing. I must be sure to add you as a friend so I don't miss it when you post. :)
I love cake. AND I love pie. A berry pie heated up just right with the most buttery of crusts with a big scoop of vanilla ice cream. Heaven. As for lessons of humility, it seems those are the daily special. When one is open. Your humor, openness and wit are unique Tom. Thanks for this literary piece of dessert.