Congratulations are in order – all my trials, lord, soon be over! Today I received a fabulous job offer, and it appears at some point it will require me to move to Canada:
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Dear Mr Tam O'Tellico: Good Day Please I Need Your gent Response?
mark johnson to Tom Cordle
Dear Mr Tam O'Tellico.
Good Day today i am Henry Boss Einstein. i wish to contact on this transition the Canadian Government is organizing a program through Canada Embassy in London, United kingdom, for people to live and work in Canada on permanent basis, with lesser requirements. We were given the contracts as FM Global Company, to look for somebody in Beeffee, Tennessee, who can stand as agent to run the project in your country upon your reply we will send you, Details of how to run the project and your benefit will be Email to you, AS SOON WE RECEIVED YOUR REPLY.
Therefore contact me through my email or Skype if you are interested. Email is (firstname.lastname@example.org )
Henry Boss Einstein
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I’m being audaciously hopeful about my prospects despite the fact I received this offer via an Open Salon PM. [Funny – not ha-ha – how something with such an obvious and odiferous odor makes it through the Fabulous OS Spam Filters and into my mailbox, while PM’s from my OS friends frequently and mysteriously end up in my spam folder. But hey, on such a joyous occasion, let us not dwell on such petty concerns.]
Should I be suspicious just because I was addressed as both Tom Cordle and Tam O’Tellico? Or just because my prospective employer actually imagines there is such a place as Beeffee, Tennessee? Nah, I can’t afford to be suspicious, what with jobs being so scarce ever since Republicans got religion and decided to become compassionate conservative job-creators.
Let you in on a little secret – this “Einstein” could get me a lot cheaper if he waited a bit. If Romney wins in November, I’ve already vowed to leave my beloved US of A for the formerly frozen North. I say formerly, because we’re about to pass the tipping point with global warming, and Canada will soon be downright balmy.
I’ve been working diligently on learning to speak Canadian, eh? Oh, if only I had misspent my youth in Michigan’s Upper Peninsula rather than “down under”. As a Yooper, I’d already be Half-Canadian.
I hope the Canadian government is preparing for the mass influx of refugees that will follow a Romney victory. It could well be the largest migration in history, and the refugee camps will be swollen with jaded, whiny ex-pats demanding Starbucks, Perrier, Fritos and Reality TV.
Meanwhile back in the USSA …..
The old blessing/curse says “May you live in interesting times.” It will interesting indeed to see what happens when the neocon chickenhawks come home to roost – thanks to sunshine liberals disenchanted that Obama, inheritor of the worst mess since FDR and opposed at every turn by Teapartian intransigence and hamstrung by liberal sloth and disinterest, wasn’t able to undo decades of supply-side economic thievery in four short years.
I can already hear the howling when these sunshine liberals discover to their horror the price they’re going to pay for throwing away their vote on the Green Party candidate or sitting home on their lazy, whiny asses as they did in 2010. It ain’t gonna be pretty.
Even more interesting will be watching what happens when reality renders its final verdict on the myth of white supremacy, and demographics catches up with tempestuous-in-a-teapot Teapartians, Aynal-retentive Libertarians and wrong-headed Religious Self-Righteous. It will make the First Civil War look like a Sunday School picnic.
With any luck, I’ll be watching the televised revolution from the comfort of my cabin in Wasauga Beach or Vancouver. Ya’ll come and visit when you can, eh?
©2012 Tom Cordle