What do you call a rabbit with no ears? Evidence
So big deal, right? Well actually it was, briefly, sort of a big deal insofar as the streamlined varmint got itself born within ear shot of the Fukushima Daiichi nuclear power plant that for quite a while now has been belching radiation like there's no tomorrow. Someone subsequently posted a video of the rabbit on the internets fueling wild speculation that its deformity was due to nuclear contamination. Come to find out, however, reputable scientists don't really credit the notion that a single animal oddity has bugger all to do with nearby apocalyptic leakage.
*What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? Still no idear.
I'm not buying the semi-official dismissals I've read about the earless bunny, who is certainly Japan's second most famous lagomorph of the past decade.
I also reject reports that the Gulf Coast three-eyed frog, Tryclopsius creolius, is just a photo-shopped image and has nothing to do with last year's BP clambake. I'm not willing to just take some scientist's word as gospel as if, what, science is any better at explaining things than any old gang of wing nuts with a hare-brained idea?
I choose to believe, on the basis of no evidence at all save the mere existence of an earless bunny that said bunny owes his existence and his celebrity to a freakish mutation brought on by prenatal exposure to radiation. I also choose to believe that the Japanese government has considered asking those two gals who live in a wine case to call their friend, Mothra, and ask him to cool Fukushima with the downdraft from his great, mothy wings.
You and the respected minds of the scientific community might not share my beliefs, but they're my beliefs and I'm not discarding them. I remain convinced that human contamination of the ecosystem accounts for such travesties of nature as earless bunny rabbits, two-legged dogs, six-toed cats and Christina Aguilera.
*What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter; he won't come anyway.And let's say, for the sake of argument, that the scientists are right and I'm wrong. Let's say that with billions of new critters getting themselves born everyday the occasional freak is bound to turn up and it's just because the world has become a smaller place and sharing images of those oddities has become so common that it seems like there are more unexplained mutant beasts popping up than ever before, when in fact such freaks are no more common then they ever were. Well what fun is that? Who wants to live in a world with no specter of doom?
*What do you do with a dog with no legs? Take him for a drag.
Some things are better if we believe in them, like Santa Claus, and Social Security. If I wanted to live in a universe full of facts I'd listen to Michio Kaku, that dullard. But why would I do that when I can listen to my brother-in-law, Carl, who told me about the fallout bunny in the first place? Carl really understands how things work.