Because I Said So

Tony Phillips' Blog at Open.Salon.Com
SEPTEMBER 22, 2011 5:37PM

Ahmadinejad Endorses Bachmann

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UNITED NATIONS, NY -  Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejadafragalistic took an uncommon step for foreign heads of state today when he endorsed Michele Bachmann’s candidacy for the U.S. presidency. Speaking to the United Nations General Assembly (minus delegations from the U.S. and all other nations who don’t believe it’s acceptable to stone 13-year-olds for showing their ankles), the Iranian President said:


“If a girl lets herself get raped, she deserves cervical cancer and it’s time the United States joined with the family of fiefdoms who understand such truths. I believe the female one, that she should cover her head, but I support also her right to rule her people. I think she too knows that in the United States, as in Iran, the only men who use other men as they should use women are the sailors, and maybe too the senators, but these are aberrations. Even they can be made to appreciate the vulva and to welcome the life after life in which righteous men frolic whiskerly while women sew, and these are things known to the Bach Mann, and we welcome her in Tehran, along with her cuckold.”

Bachmann’s camp quickly moved to distance itself from Ahmadinejad’s endorsement, issuing a public statement late this afternoon that read, in part:

“Michele Bachmann believes in an America where all straight evangelical Christians are free to practice their beliefs, enforce their norms and standards and bring their views into the mainstream. The candidate is firmly committed to the rights of Christians to advance their cause through full participation in public policy discussions and through representation in American classrooms. Mrs. Bachmann is seeking the presidency so she can bring her own religiously informed view of a better world to the highest office in God’s favorite country and she rejects outright the endorsement of the Iranian president because his support of Muslim theocracy is at odds with the Christian theocracy this campaign envisions.”



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