To understand this entry I must ask the reader to do one simple thing; suspend belief and embrace fantasy.  You must forget, for a moment, that I don't have enough talent to float a flea in a tea cup and believe that I am a famous writer.

Yes, my friends, in some alternate universe I have been DISCOVERED. One of my quirky little off the wall short stories have caught on with the voracious reading public and suddenly there is a general clamoring for my novels which just a short time ago served as a nursing home for dust bunnies.

The next thing you know, there are paper back rights and international publishing rights to consider, not to mention the ever pressing movie and TV deals to be hammered out. 

I am bigger than King! There are websites dedicated to analyzing every word I write and speculating on what my next work of genius fiction will be about and when it will hit the bookshelves. 

Yes, my friends I will be rolling in the dough; lighting cigars with twenty dollar bills and enjoying the good life. Of course I would invite each of you....my friends from the dark days of blogging on OS.....to visit me on the new and improved Almosta Ranch.

The new ranch would NOT be ten acres in backwoods Missouri. No sir, the new Almosta Ranch would be sitting at the base of the Grand Teton mountain range; ten thousand acres of woodland and pasture land holding herds of cows and horses. Of course I would meet you at the gate....

Thanks for coming, now let's load in my SUV and drive to the main house. Oh yes, that ten foot cyclone fence does  run completely around the ranch and yes, that is concertina wire topping the fence, thanks for noticing.

What's that....Oh those...Yes they are anti-aircraft emplacements on either side of the house; guaranteed to bring any news chopper down in a ball of flames. Watch your step....those ARE mines buried over there.....

Okay, so I value my privacy.

Now let's just say that in this alternate universe, where I am rich and famous, something happens. Maybe, through no fault of my own, my sweet wife catches me in a hot tub with two Bangkok beauties and a bottle of Jim Beam.

"But...but....honey, it's not my fault. I'm actually suffering a flashback to my war days....that leave I spent in Bangkok.  I'M INNOCENT!"

So of course my sweetie doesn't buy it for a minute and I run over two cows and a tree while trying to drive to safety in my SUV and she is running along side of the truck beating in the windows with a branding iron.

The media gets wind of it and descend on me screaming about their right to know all the facts. What do I do?

I have only two words to share with them and they can quote me: " FUCK OFF!" Then I manage to shoot down two news Helicopters before they drag me out, kicking and screaming......

Back to reality.......THAT is the very reason that I will never be rich or never be famous.  I am just old fashioned enough to believe that no amount of fame or money I ever derive from plying my trade will ever give the rest of the world the right to know everything there is to know about my private life.  I am just ornery enough not to give a shit whether you love my work or not and I am not willing to give up my privacy for your consumption. 

I am happy on my ten acres of Almosta Ranch and if you people want to stop reading my many books or watching the movies, or the TV movies because I have done something which any one of you might have done, then so be it.

As long as I got ONE horse and a saddle....I'm good to go.