It is a well known fact around here that were it not for the animals of Almosta Ranch I would have little of note to write about, and so it is today. My present four legged inspiration comes from Jeremiah, our miniature male donkey.

 A few of you might remember an entry I did some time ago relating the sad story of how, through a set of yet unknown and unlikely circumstances, Jeremiah became entangled in a plastic lawn chair which had to be cut off his neck.

This time however Jeremiah took on a slightly larger opponent in the form of a round bale of hay which outweighed him by several hundred pounds.

The story unfolded yesterday as I was happily observing an age-old tradition of the McClain males on New Year’s Day. I was lounging about the house doing absolutely nothing more strenuous than watching football on TV. I am positive that this tradition was started back in the caveman days when my ancestors spent the day staring at cave drawings depicting their most recent hunting trip. I imagine that this long ago act was at least as interesting as watching the Cowboys take their annual spanking while trying to convince the world they belonged in the play-offs.

So, at any rate, there I was, relaxed in my recliner with my bowl of popcorn and my ever present Pepsi close at hand and cheering my favorite teams on the tube. Mel decided to go out and putz around in the barn since she equates watching football as least as interesting as watching paint dry.

She had been gone about ten minutes and I was enjoying NOT having to answer her many annoying questions as to the rules of the game. There is nothing more irritating than having to stop watching and explain rule infractions to your wife every time the ref throws a flag. After each in-depth explanation by me, Mel would say: “Well that’s just silly!”

Ten minutes was not nearly long enough, and I knew something was wrong when she came back into the house.

“What?” I asked, not taking my eyes off the set.

“You need to come out here and give me a hand.” She said calmly. “Jeremiah is stuck under the hay bale.”

It took a moment or two for her words to sink into brain and as it did I tried to picture a miniature donkey UNDER a seven hundred pound bale of hay…..I couldn’t even picture it.

Putting on my shoes on New Year’s Day shattered another long standing tradition of the McClain males but I knew better than to argue when she gives me “The Look”. So, grumbling under my breath about stupid donkeys, I jerked on my shoes and followed Mel out the door and down to the front pasture. Sure enough….there he was…UNDER the hay bale.

So I pushed….

And I shoved…

And then I noticed that he was not only under the bale, but he had become entangled in the strong baling twine that holds the bale together. As the horses eat the hay the twine loosens and somehow he had gotten his body between the twine and the hay. He was snared like a fly in a spider web. So I had to stop pushing and take out my knife and cut all the twine away from his body. As soon as I did that, he got up on shaky legs and stumbled back toward the barn with not even a “thank you” bray for his rescuer.

It was only then that I realized that Mel had not been there helping me. No, she was too busy standing back and taking pictures of the whole sorry affair and laughing her head off at my exertions. Women are just evil!

I stomped back into the house, intent on getting back to the game only to find that I had missed the last quarter of the first game. My Popcorn was cold and my Pepsi was warm….what’s a man to do? Well that’s easy. I just replenished the Popcorn and Pepsi and switch over to the SECOND game. After all, some traditions are sacred.

Post Script: After trying for two and a half hours I have given up on putting the pictures in here. It took an hour just to get the entry to take. "New and improved OS" ?  Really? I will post the pictures that were going in here on my FaceBook page if anyone wants to see them. You can also use this link to see the pictures in Mel's album

http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.2908170588635.2150316.1391680962&type=1&l=343380d2cb