As much as it pains me to admit it, the fault for this sad state of affairs lay solely with my wife, Mel. It is a fact that she has always favored her baby boy over all our other children and she has not been able to stop herself from spoiling him rotten.

As a result, he has grown up with a false sense of entitlement. He believes that whatever he sees belongs to him, or at least should be his for the taking. He has become a thief.

Now he is almost grown and still acting out at every opportunity. We have to watch him like a hawk whenever he is in our home because we never know what will come up missing next.

God knows I have tried to enforce some rules dealing with acceptable behavior where he is concerned but Mel undermines all my efforts. Because she is so soft on him and he knows he can get away with stealing from us and so the problem has only worsened.

It all came to a head two days ago when, embolden by his mother’s failure to discipline him, he stole something very precious to her….right in front of me. As bad as that is, the worse part is that his momma didn’t blame him as much as she blamed me! I was shocked.

Here is a picture of our wayward child….

Yes, he is a dog. To be more precise, he is a Chihuahua/Italian Greyhound mix and his name is Velcro and he is the youngest of our ten doggie children and the resident “problem child”.

Velcro’s last thief though was the straw that broke the camel’s back. He had the misfortune of making off with his momma’s last chicken enchilada! Now anyone who knows my baby knows that you NEVER mess with her chicken enchilada which is her favorite comfort food.

Mel had saved that enchilada from dinner the day before and was planning on having it for dinner that evening. She put it in the plate, warmed it in the microwave and then took it out and placed the plate on the table while she went outside to take care of something on the front porch…I don’t remember what it was.

Before she walked out the door she told me to watch her plate and don’t let Velcro get to it.

Me? Why me, I’m not the one that has coddled and spoiled the little brat so why do I have to be responsible for safeguarding her freaking enchilada. For my part, I was just about to start an Xbox game with my daughter and son-in-law in Houston and to be perfectly honest, I wasn’t paying that much attention to our little four-legged kleptomaniac.

In fact, my back was turned to the table and I was totally engrossed in shooting aliens with my OTHER kids when I was interrupted by Mel’s loud yell: “OH MY GOD!”

I turned and set down my controller: “What?” I asked her.

“LOOK what YOUR dog did.”

I turned toward the kitchen table, a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach, and there was Velcro, up on the table standing over an empty plate with enchilada crumbs still dripping off his dumb little face.

“Oh shit. I was supposed to watch that wasn’t I”

“Ya think?” The sarcasm was hard to miss. “I ask you to do just one thing and you totally ignored me and let him eat my dinner!”

“Well to be perfectly honest, it’s your fault for never correcting him when he pulls stunts like this.”

Note to husbands: Never try to inject logic in any argument with your wife.

I got the silent treatment for the rest of the evening and when I innocently asked her what she planned on making me for dinner she didn’t say a word, just walked into the kitchen and then returned and handed me the jar of peanut butter.

CRAP!

On the bright side, she banished Velcro to the back yard and, with her not speaking to me the rest of the evening, I was able to have some real quality games with my kids on the Xbox. Besides…I happen to like peanut butter sandwiches so it’s all good.