Americans are a forgiving people when it comes to our celebrities. You can kick the shit out of a woman then lend your name to a line of top-selling headphones while hawking Dr. Pepper, Coors Light and Chryslers on our TVs.


A rape conviction earns you a star-making… Read full post »

Lead with a joke. This refrain is as familiar as “Hey Jude” to the speechwriters and bloggers out there. But you know what? Call me a conscientious objector because I refuse to participate in these set up and punch line times. While Slate has declared atheism to be America's last taboo,… Read full post »

  One of the benefits of aging is losing almost all interest in appearing cool. But on one night every year, those old high school insecurities return in full force. Silly as it sounds, the dropping of a big red ball makes me feel like an awkward teenager all over again.… Read full post »

MARCH 8, 2010 3:12PM

Facing the Fear of Skiing

While many fears are based upon irrational beliefs, my fear of skiing was built upon dozens of falls and an inability to stop.  As a midwesterner, I went into the sport with a cocky attitude.  If people could ski down Aspen Mountain at over 100mph, how difficult could it possibly be… Read full post »

Only four women have been nominated for best director in the eighty-two year history of the Academy Awards.  Is this sexism?  At first glance it seems to be but a Google search for best movies directed by women will show a paucity of classics to be had.  There is not a… Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
JANUARY 22, 2010 10:15AM

My Most Underrated Actor: The Thousand Faces of Amy Ryan

When called upon to name my most underrated actor, several names came to mind: Don Cheadle, Greg Kinnear, Mark Strong and half the cast of Lost to name but a few. Narrowing it down to one seemed impossible. Why not make it a Top 10 list? Everybody loves those right?

Then… Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
OCTOBER 2, 2009 11:47AM

When Being Honest About Sex is a Bad Idea

Honesty is the best policy.

It is a cliche you hear spewed everywhere, from Oprah to the pages of Cosmo.  Even omissions are treated as lies by these honesty junkies. But is an open, honest relationship in which you share everything with your partner really such a good idea?

Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
JULY 7, 2009 7:42AM

Did Controversy Help Michael Jackson's Career?

Even from the grave, Michael Jackson can still sell out. An amazing 1.6 million fans registered in an online lottery for tickets to attend today's morning memorial service at the Staples Center in Los Angeles. Of those entrants, a lucky 8,750 were chosen to receive a pair of tickets each.  Despi… Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
JULY 2, 2009 10:04AM

What's Wrong with Political Correctness?

Like welfare queens and trickle down economics, political correctness is the canard that keeps on giving. Fifteen years after Politically Correct Bedtime Stories topped the New York Times best-seller list, the American obsession with making fun of political correctness continues unabated on websites… Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
JULY 1, 2009 10:21AM

I Was Homeless . . . And I Liked It

Homelessness is like homosexuality: it's not for everyone. But for that ten percent of us who are wired just a little bit differently, the freedom of living without a home can be just another lifestyle choice.

Much like gays know they are different from a very early age, I was well… Read full post »

That faint whimpering you hear coming from the north is the sound of all of Canada's single ladies weeping over the discovery that their nation's most eligible bachelor is now taken.


All I've got to say is put a rubber on it, Kid. We know where she's been and… Read full post »

Growing up, a friendless life seemed perfectly normal to me. My own parents never socialized and neither did the Huxtables, Bradys or Seavers on TV.  Melodramatic after-school specials taught me all about the dangers of peer pressure while  Diff'rent Strokes further hammered home the point… Read full post »

Surgeon, electrician, teacher: these are the jobs that generally come to mind when we think of the world's most difficult professions. Admittedly, performing open heart surgery, splicing a cable and managing a classroom full of hormonally imbalanced students (and teaching them something to boot) are… Read full post »

Most Prolific Father: Travis Henry

The former Tennessee Titan is the proud papa of eleven little bundles of joy by ten different women. The star running back is currently jailed for failing to pay his $17,000 a month child support bills. He is also facing federal cocaine trafficking charges. The… Read full post »

The issue of reparations for slavery is a divisive one in America. While a  2002 opinion poll found that 67 percent of African-Americans supported monetary reparations, only 4 percent of whites agreed. If whites were to compensate African-Americans for their centuries of servitude, how much woul… Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
JUNE 10, 2009 12:14PM

Would You Risk Your Life for a Book Deal?

I would.

Now don't get me wrong. I'm not crazy or suicidal and I'm not saying I would kill myself for a vanity label, but for a Simon and Schuster imprint I just might consider it .   .   .

Men have certainly died for less.  Over four thousand Americans… Read full post »

JUNE 9, 2009 10:08AM

Has Porn Ruined Sex for Everyone?

Women, does your husband seem bored in the bedroom?  Has his sex drive diminished and the amount of dirty socks you find in the hamper increased accordingly since you got broadband?

Let me tell you a secret. He’s disinterested because monogamy does not work when the wonders… Read full post »

Think of almost any great rock star, writer or artist. With a few exceptions like Picasso most have a five year run then rest on their laurels.

Rod Stewart is the perfect example. His early stuff like Maggie May is kick-ass but after that? It's all Some Guys Have All theRead full post »

Seventeen year-old tennis sensation Simona Halep has vowed to have her 34DD breasts surgically reduced. The 5'5" Romanian says "The breasts make me uncomfortable when I play. It's the weight that troubles me - my ability to react quickly."


Fans of the world's 317th ranked player reacted… Read full post »

According to the latest Gallup poll, ninety percent of Democrats approve of the job Barack Obama is doing as president. This is a sad commentary on my blue compatriots, who apparently feel we can now rest easy that the Wicked Witch of Crawford, Texas is out of office.  

While American… Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
MAY 29, 2009 10:02AM

Why Stop at Gay Marriage? Let's Ban All Marriage!

While I consider Proposition 8 a step in the right direction, it does not go nearly far enough. Why should we stop at only banning gay marriage?  We live in an allegedly secular nation with separation of church and state yet our government gives tax breaks and benefits to couples who… Read full post »

1.) Kurt Cobain: The Self-Loather

This redditer seemingly lives an enchanted existence. He has the hits and karma we all want, and his posts land on the cover of reddit quicker than ours reach the new list.

Yet it's still not enough for this tormented artiste. He is secretly ashamed of… Read full post »

I am the Editor of your Open Salon, who brought you out of the land of Blogspot, out of the house of anonymity;

1.)  Thou shalt not have any other blogs before me.

2.) Thou shalt not make for yourself an idol, whether in the form of any trinket… Read full post »

In the 1950s, while out on the town in Miami Beach, Frank Sinatra wandered into Murray Franklin's nightclub. Upon seeing The Chairman of the Board, the unknown comedian up on stage ad libbed:  "Make yourself at home, Frank. Hit somebody!"

You might have heard of this comic before. His name: DonRead full post »

Editor’s Pick
MAY 21, 2009 7:48AM

Kris Allen Wins but Adam is My American Idol

Kris Allen said it best when, after being crowned the 2009 American Idol, the first words out of his mouth were: "Adam deserves this."

Yes, Adam most certainly did. He took a cynical and uppity middle-aged man and turned me into a lover of what I once considered America's most… Read full post »