One of the benefits of aging is losing almost all interest in appearing cool. But on one night every year, those old high school insecurities return in full force. Silly as it sounds, the dropping of a big red ball makes me feel like an awkward teenager all over again.… Read full post »

While many fears are based upon irrational beliefs, my fear of skiing was built upon dozens of falls and an inability to stop.  As a midwesterner, I went into the sport with a cocky attitude.  If people could ski down Aspen Mountain at over 100mph, how difficult could it possibly be… Read full post »

Only four women have been nominated for best director in the eighty-two year history of the Academy Awards.  Is this sexism?  At first glance it seems to be but a Google search for best movies directed by women will show a paucity of classics to be had.  There is not a… Read full post »

When called upon to name my most underrated actor, several names came to mind: Don Cheadle, Greg Kinnear, Mark Strong and half the cast of Lost to name but a few. Narrowing it down to one seemed impossible. Why not make it a Top 10 list? Everybody loves those right?

Then… Read full post »

Honesty is the best policy.

It is a cliche you hear spewed everywhere, from Oprah to the pages of Cosmo.  Even omissions are treated as lies by these honesty junkies. But is an open, honest relationship in which you share everything with your partner really such a good idea?

… Read full post »

Even from the grave, Michael Jackson can still sell out. An amazing 1.6 million fans registered in an online lottery for tickets to attend today's morning memorial service at the Staples Center in Los Angeles. Of those entrants, a lucky 8,750 were chosen to receive a pair of tickets each.  Despi… Read full post »

Like welfare queens and trickle down economics, political correctness is the canard that keeps on giving. Fifteen years after Politically Correct Bedtime Stories topped the New York Times best-seller list, the American obsession with making fun of political correctness continues unabated on websites… Read full post »

Homelessness is like homosexuality: it's not for everyone. But for that ten percent of us who are wired just a little bit differently, the freedom of living without a home can be just another lifestyle choice.

Much like gays know they are different from a very early age, I was well… Read full post »

That faint whimpering you hear coming from the north is the sound of all of Canada's single ladies weeping over the discovery that their nation's most eligible bachelor is now taken.

All I've got to say is put a rubber on it, Kid. We know where she's been and… Read full post »

Growing up, a friendless life seemed perfectly normal to me. My own parents never socialized and neither did the Huxtables, Bradys or Seavers on TV.  Melodramatic after-school specials taught me all about the dangers of peer pressure while  Diff'rent Strokes further hammered home the point… Read full post »

Surgeon, electrician, teacher: these are the jobs that generally come to mind when we think of the world's most difficult professions. Admittedly, performing open heart surgery, splicing a cable and managing a classroom full of hormonally imbalanced students (and teaching them something to boot) are… Read full post »

Most Prolific Father: Travis Henry

The former Tennessee Titan is the proud papa of eleven little bundles of joy by ten different women. The star running back is currently jailed for failing to pay his $17,000 a month child support bills. He is also facing federal cocaine trafficking charges. The… Read full post »

The issue of reparations for slavery is a divisive one in America. While a  2002 opinion poll found that 67 percent of African-Americans supported monetary reparations, only 4 percent of whites agreed. If whites were to compensate African-Americans for their centuries of servitude, how much woul… Read full post »

I would.

Now don't get me wrong. I'm not crazy or suicidal and I'm not saying I would kill myself for a vanity label, but for a Simon and Schuster imprint I just might consider it .   .   .

Men have certainly died for less.  Over four thousand Americans… Read full post »

Women, does your husband seem bored in the bedroom?  Has his sex drive diminished and the amount of dirty socks you find in the hamper increased accordingly since you got broadband?

Let me tell you a secret. He’s disinterested because monogamy does not work when the wonders… Read full post »

Think of almost any great rock star, writer or artist. With a few exceptions like Picasso most have a five year run then rest on their laurels.

Rod Stewart is the perfect example. His early stuff like Maggie May is kick-ass but after that? It's all Some Guys Have All the… Read full post »

Seventeen year-old tennis sensation Simona Halep has vowed to have her 34DD breasts surgically reduced. The 5'5" Romanian says "The breasts make me uncomfortable when I play. It's the weight that troubles me - my ability to react quickly."

Fans of the world's 317th ranked player reacted… Read full post »

According to the latest Gallup poll, ninety percent of Democrats approve of the job Barack Obama is doing as president. This is a sad commentary on my blue compatriots, who apparently feel we can now rest easy that the Wicked Witch of Crawford, Texas is out of office.  

While American… Read full post »

While I consider Proposition 8 a step in the right direction, it does not go nearly far enough. Why should we stop at only banning gay marriage?  We live in an allegedly secular nation with separation of church and state yet our government gives tax breaks and benefits to couples who… Read full post »

1.) Kurt Cobain: The Self-Loather

This redditer seemingly lives an enchanted existence. He has the hits and karma we all want, and his posts land on the cover of reddit quicker than ours reach the new list.

Yet it's still not enough for this tormented artiste. He is secretly ashamed of… Read full post »

I am the Editor of your Open Salon, who brought you out of the land of Blogspot, out of the house of anonymity;

1.)  Thou shalt not have any other blogs before me.

2.) Thou shalt not make for yourself an idol, whether in the form of any trinket… Read full post »

In the 1950s, while out on the town in Miami Beach, Frank Sinatra wandered into Murray Franklin's nightclub. Upon seeing The Chairman of the Board, the unknown comedian up on stage ad libbed:  "Make yourself at home, Frank. Hit somebody!"

You might have heard of this comic before. His name: Don… Read full post »

Kris Allen said it best when, after being crowned the 2009 American Idol, the first words out of his mouth were: "Adam deserves this."

Yes, Adam most certainly did. He took a cynical and uppity middle-aged man and turned me into a lover of what I once considered America's most… Read full post »

ESPN reports that Michael Vick has been released from Leavenworth federal penitentiary today after serving 19 months for financing a dog fighting ring. Vick will spend the remaining two months of his sentence on house arrest at his 5 bedroom Hamptons, Virginia home, where he will be allowed to leave… Read full post »

In the 2008 Presidential Election, almost 60 percent of white males cast their ballot for Senator John McCain.  

This behavior seems puzzling at first. For the prior eight years, the Republicans had waged an illegal war, sanctioned torture and violated the Geneva Conventions at Guantanamo Bay an… Read full post »