Barbs against introverts are not only the domain of locker room Neanderthals and loutish drunks at the bar. Even the sophisticates at National Public Radio see fit to drop their façade of political correctness where we are concerned. A sound clip on the NPR website began with this text introduction: “The hit comedy The 40-Year-Old Virgin has sparked conversations about adult chastity -- and some adult virgins are coming out of the closet to defend their lifestyle. Mike Pesca speaks with adults who claim to be virgins to find out what motivates them to avoid sex, and what rewards they find in a life without it.”

Claim? The word implies there is some doubt as to the veracity of the subject’s virginity. Why would anyone claim to be a member of a group so ridiculed by mainstream society? Remember when being gay alone was enough to get you trotted out like a freak on a talk show? Not even Phil Donahue would have had the temerity to begin a segment on homosexuality with “Now here are some men who claim to be gay . . .” then give a pronounced wink to his audience as if to say, “Yes, I know, ridiculous isn’t it? Two men having sex? Physiologically impossible.” That is the implication in the NPR lead-in. An adult virgin? It’s only the latest gag in a Hollywood movie and could never happen in real life.

And then comes the kicker, let’s give the freak show the benefit of the doubt and examine “what motivates them to avoid sex” as if sex were the common cold and adult virgins were Howard Hughes quarantining themselves from the world to avoid it. It’s as if whenever virgins walk out the door there are horny masses waiting to pounce on them and steal their virginity. While much has been written on voluntary celibacy for religious and safety reasons, extroverts seem perplexed by the concept of involuntary celibacy, as the scant literature on the topic attests. As an example, take the case of Chris Martin, lead singer for Coldplay. In an interview with Rolling Stone, a clearly puzzled reporter asked Mr. Martin why he waited until the crisp old age of 22 to lose his virginity even though the title of the reporter’s own cover story “The Jesus of Uncool” made it perfectly clear why Chris Martin was still a virgin at 22!

 Getting sex isn't that easy but when the media portrays it as something as casual as a handshake it makes both current and former involuntary celibates like myself feel even worse about ourselves. Perhaps in an extrovert world you go up to a woman and start coupling at your heart’s content but in the real world you’re more likely to be met with steely contempt if you try the Richard Nash approach from A Beautiful Mind and suggest an exchange of bodily fluids with a potential partner.