CHANGE THE COVER

but stay off of my lawn
JANUARY 27, 2009 12:11PM

27 things to do before death list

Rate: 13 Flag

    Ok Ok ...never done a list , but Bradley and fireeyes and onecorgilover

did and I enjoyed them and thought it might be fun . Also  found out a

little more difficult than I had imagined ....I mean this should be easy !

      ♥ one - Fall in love , yep , best as I can tell it's never happened 

(excepting of course the love for my son )

      ♣ two - Quit touching myself ! This would be contingent upon

finding that special person in my number one of course .

      ζ  three - Win the poweball . Dreaming here , hey why not ?

      ξ  four -Find an internet $$$$$$ scheme that actually works .

This will be necessary to fund many of the things further down the list

since I know that #3 simply ain't happening .

      ∞ five- Become a fishing guide ...maybe have a little summer

camp for city brats that never saw anything but concrete and teach

them how to fish and appreciate the outdoors .

       ¢ six- Set aside one month a year for mushroom hunting . Follow

the little buggers from south to north as the spring season unfolds .

Morels , beefsteaks mmmmm . This is fun people !

      Σ  seven -Quit smoking once and for all dammit !

      ♣  eight -Take up scuba diving  . In the clear fresh water

lakes of Arkansas maybe . Also the Caribbean , checking out

coral structures and the like .

      ♦  nine - Spear fishing . I was once at Bull shoals Lake where

you can see easily twenty or thirty feet underwater , during a

spear fishing tournament . Something I think I'd like to do .

( of course , after I learn to scuba )

     λ  ten - Bungee jump . Even if it was only one time . Would of course

involve growing a bigger pair of kahonas .

      Θ  eleven - Go parasailing , like somewhere in Mexico . Being drug 

 around by a fast boat a coupla hundred feet above the water . Yeah .

      δ  twelve -Hang gliding . I want to do this , even though I once

had a friend that was pushed into the ground by a downdraft and

had a permanent limp because of it .

       π  thirteen -Become a gourmet cook / chef , whatever . Hey , I like

to cook and would love to know more about the art .

        §  fourteen -  To once again have a six pack . LOL , would

involve exercise wouldn't it!

        Δ fifteen -  Grandchildren , yes I want some . My son is my only

chance here , and he swears he ain't procreating , but I suppose

I can always hope for an accident ( like him ! ) 

        Œ  sixteen -To see the election of a half Kenyan / half Hawaiian

Caucasian President  . WAIT , already done that ! Ok how about

a woman prez ? A kicks ass and takes names woman .

        ≠  seventeen - Do a fly in wilderness trip to somewhere in Canada ,

the kind of place , where no gasoline motors are allowed . Fish from

a canoe , eat what I catch ....with wild blackberries on the side .

        •  eighteen -Tour New Zealand . Something about NZ has

always captured my imagination .

         €  nineteen -Hike the Appalachian Trail  ...the whole damn thing .

         ∂  twenty - Get a boat , a seaworthy one , with sleeping quarters

and all that and explore the Caribbean islands for a year . ( This is

where either #3 or # 4 would come into play , along with # 7 )

         ♣  twentyone - Write something and have it actually published.

Maybe a book about my island adventures .

         ¥  twentytwo - Get a winter home SOMEWHERE WARM !

I can appreciate the beauty of winter as well as anyone , but

would rather enjoy it as an option .

         ♥  twentythree -Become totally debt free and just fall off the grid .

( see # 3 and # 4 again )

         Ξ  twentyfour - Learn a foreign language , Spanish in particular ,

preferrably BEFORE the Carribean Isle hopping thing .

         ♦  twentyfive -Read more , a lot more . Make it a habit ( Would

of course involve staying off OS ! )

        Λ   twentysix- Learn astral projection . I totally believe this is

possible !

         ¶♥♣  twentyseven -( drumroll please )  To someday , somehow

become half as charming and charismatic as SHAQ !!!!!!

Shaquille ONeal-1

     Ok , y'all... now write yours dammit !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  

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Hey Trig,

I commend you on the list. Based on your choices, you are gonna have to find a real "connected to the land" kinda chick. She's out there, my brother has a wonderful woman that fishes and hunts with him. Bro also spear fishes and wins these contests. That takes talent! PS I have researched the net stuff. There really is no such thing as "striking it rich here." You have to work it rich here. UCANDUITTTT.
LOVED IT!! Fabulous list. You have some awesome dreams and goals I hope you can make them all come ture. Mostly #1, I think everyone should have that feeling at least once in their lives.
Grandchildren are awesome and they make a world of difference in your life.
I could honestly do the rest of them myself.
I love the thought of the camp for city brats, I think every child should appreicate the beauty of nature and have that opportunity to do.
I can't wait to hear the stories posted on OS as you chick them all off your list one by one.
Holy Moly , got some comments pretty quick here ...what is it about LISTS that people like so much ?

Ann P ..appreciate the support , and that's cool about your brother .

Aaron ...LOL , SHAQ has a way of bringing a smile to my face
every time I even think of the guy !

Fireeyes glad you loved it ...Ahhh
Maybe you could give me the winning numbers for tomorrow
nights powerball and then I could check that one off and do
a big ass post about it !
There trig, I will think about the numbers today and get them right to you. Only if share the money and some of the dreams..LOL
You are so right, Trig....this was one of the most difficult list to come up with! I hope everything on your list comes true too. You are pretty adventurous and funny so I know it's only a matter of time before you find the love of your life. (Bungee jumping? Yikes!) And you and I both need to get lucky with the lotto or powerball.....how else will we finance this life of leisure we so desperately want? LOL! Rated!
smack lightning , if you supply the proper numbers ,
needless to say Trig will cut you a check for 25% of the pot .

Onecorgilover , believe it or not I didn't read your list
til after I posted mine . Tripped me out that you had
parasailing ! I think the " win the lottery" might be pretty
universal . Both of us foreign language too ( different
language but big deal )
I do believe strongly that we should all emulate SHAQ ( 27)

Hey Kalvin ...gotta start somewhere , right .
Trig great list of things to do... Here is a suggestion to tick-off a few of this task.

You could combine a few of these... walking to the local Quick Shop will give you exercise and getting a 6-pack.

Also, you could combine a few by getting a show on the Food Channel.... hiking the Appalachian Trail, eating this you catch along the way, hunting mushroom and cooking out under the stars.

And along the Appalachian Trail, stop off in Banner Elk, NC and hang glide off Grandfather Mountain.

Question about #6 - have you ever come across a 'chicken' mushroom. They are so damn good and easy to cook.
Oh Trig , fabulous list for a retard !
LOL 25% that is all for the winning numbers. Using the name smack lighting on me you should pay out more then that. Especailly if you knew what it meant.
I think Gmgaston has some good points there for you. Chicken mushroom george?
Hey there George ...I kinda had to stretch to get to twenty seven .
But I like how you think . Exercise on the way to the QT to get the six pack . And yeah , great idea ...Appalachian trail and hang gliding
off Grandfather mountain ...combined . And no , never heard of a chicken mushroom ...You messin' with me man ?

BLOGojevich , what you got up your ass , besides your head ?
Ok fireeyes , 37.5% if you cover all the taxes .
BULL!! You cover taxes and you pay 50% or I will bring out smack lighting. LOL
Oh, it just means that we dream big....nothing wrong with that. I can speak some Spanish, but not enough to brag about....maybe I need to go back and add that to my list! Wait a minute....Fireeyes has some inside info on the lottery? Do tell!
Trig.. the chicken mushroom is really amazing. It's called a chicken mushroom because of the way it looks... much like a hen seating with her tail to the wind... feathers up... usually orange-brown in color. The texture of the mushroom is like pounded chicken breast, so most recipes you use chicken in, you could substitute chicken mushrooms.

Oh, a chicken mushroom usual weights in at about 20 to 30 pounds.
Oh trig.... some we guys have to combine task and make up the use of words, like - six pack, nanners and brew-chucking
Ok ok fireeyes ...just astral the numbers over before 2 tomorrow
afternoon .

onecorgi yes...dream big , that's an understatement ! but what
was cool about doing this is I/we have something to look back
on to help keep some dreams at the forefront of our frontal lobes .

Mista Gaston ...glad to see you back . you had me on the hen with
the ass to the wind mushroom before you mentioned the weight !
There's an old fake Confucius-say, "House finish, man die." I'm working on getting my house finished but, fortunately, pieces fall off as fast as I nail something onto the other side, so I'll probably live forever.
trig I will get those number over to you before tomorrow.
So 50% deal of no deal?
Good, fun list. Most of these are totally doable, even the Shaq one . Good luck!
Trig, All joking a side... You do have a really great list here.
1. Get up tomorrow morning
2. Smoke a joint and think about #3

Great post - but 27 things still to do are for you people with egg shells still behind your ears

rated :)
i want to go to the carribian..
actually i wanna go anywhere but here
Ms. Myriad . I see you survived the day , like me , with the help
of Dr . Arnie .
House finish , man die ? Hell , guess I'll live forever .

Yes fireeyes 50% . And once again congrats on EP for your story .

Ariana thanks . And if I could be like SHAQ I could skip the rest !

good to see you again Earthling ...Eggshells ?

Barbara Anne ...yeah the Carribean ! I went and saw your new
list . Good job . And I don't think you even used FUCK one time !

Kalvin ...Na , whoever signs up for number one is going along for the ride .

Thanks everyone and as Tink would say
may you have a better tomorrow !
trig, Glad to you are alive! LOL.
Okay I will number you before the sale time is up.
Thank you on the congrats for the EP.

The number? Who for it gets go along?
Where does everyone need to apply?
What are the requirements for number one?
Just thought I would ask and keep the conversation going. Since I have threatened you with the smack lighting and taken 50% of the proceeds if you win the lottery.
LOL of these women might want to know what they need to do.
Hey liked your list i'm 17 and i'm going to work on mine thanks for the idea man!
I'll give you the winning numbers for the Lotto....1,9,6,8,4,3 and the powerball will be 12. Of course, those are spread out for different tickets!! ;D

Great list. Especially twentytwo - Get a winter home SOMEWHERE WARM !" Damn right there, I like winter too but I'd like it to be a choice, you know something like, "Oh Martha,"(in my fantasy, I have a wife named Martha that I call Loveedovee!! Teehee!! Also in my dreams, I'm obscenly wealthy!!!) "lets go to Aspen and ski!" And she'd be like, "Yes, lets!"

Anyways, great post!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Good night and have a better tomorrow!! ;)
Great list, hope you do all of them and tell us the tale in your best-seller book. :)
Fireeyes ! slow those fingers down girl ........
Be concentrating on the powerball numbers

Matthew Borquez ...Do THEY allow people of hispanic
origin into the backwoods of Canada ?
Kidding of course my friend . Thanks for peekin '

Tink ! I knew you'd be here eventually ....thanks my friend

Moana ...your well wishes are well appreciated
Well Mr. Palin - you certainly are a sweetheart. This is a great list you have here, and I know it must've been hard, harder than people think! I'm trying to put together "My 25" and it's killing me. Tough not to make it seem like a goddamn dating profile. (You may not need to do a 25 since your 27 here are pretty revealing)
So - Love Shaq too. Been to NZ - it's worth it.
Love your idea of a camp for kids to teach them to fish (you sweetie) - very Biblical.

Just go to a Costco and buy a six-pack for God's sake.

Keep buying Lotto tickets (maybe OS writers should all chip in once a week and buy a whole bunch of them - we split the jackpot and all get to buy boats and sail to the Carribean. What a party that would be!!)

And I predict you will meet the woman of your dreams this year. You'll blog about it, and that blog will be so touching that a publisher will pick it up as a book. It will be an enormous hit, you'll get rich and you can give me your share of the OS Lotto tickets. OK?
Trig, I typed for 2 -1/2 days on my last story. My fingers don't want to go as fast as my mind anymore. lol
I am concentrating on the numbers.
I just thought I would try and double my 50% of the money by auctioning you off to the highest bidder. Gee you can't blame a girl for trying.lol
I'll have to ask my brother about the difference between bungee jumping and skydiving. He's done both. I've only done skydiving, but I highly recommend it. You name the place and time and I'll parasail, hang glide, or scuba dive witcha!
Ok so I'm behind a day in reading this, but you will have to forgive me. lol.
I seriously like your list. I can relate to several of the things on it. I hope that you can accomplish the majority of them. Although I agree with you and #3 prolly ain't happening!!!
Yes dcvdickens , you have the idea ....that's exactly how I had it
worked out ...Thank you .

Yes fireeyes , I can appreciate that your fingers may have been
worn out after THAT story . But once again congrats .

Justjuli ....so sweet thank you . check with me tomorrow ( after
tonights powerball drawing )

asho282 , thanks for your kind sentiments ....alas , yes ,
me is aware that #3 ain't happening
Thank you Trig
You are such sweetheart.
I still think you should let me auction you off to the highest bidder..LOL! Hey it could be a fun post.
fuck i forgot.. i think from now on trig im gonna have to slip that lil 4 letter word into each of my posts.. even if its in the smallest font ever made!!
barbraanne, You go girl!! Give him hell..
Trig a sweetheart ? An auction ? Fireeyes ?

Glad I reminded you aren't ya Barbara Anne !
auction? does he have to wear some thing skimpy... then maybe rub him down in baby oil.. so hes all slick and sexy lookng..



m going now.. lol
See Babra Anne, Even thinks it would be a good idea.
She even added some ideas.. That might work.
y'all can oil me up an auction me as soon as I cash the check , ok
No we are going to oil you up and action you off before you win the lottery. Then you can go about you winning lottery, give me 50% and not having to have smack lighting show up. And then you can go about your dreams on your list.
LOL
hey it was my idea to oil him up.. dont i get anything out of this.. you know besides slimy oily hands with left over chest and back hair stuck to them..

why do i keep coming back?
Barbraanne
Of course you get some. It was idea to use oil. I had the idea to auction him off.
That wasn't a good picture about the hands. We will get gloves.
You keep coming back because it is making you laugh
Girls !

I said I wanted to have all the charm of SHAQ
not that I had a hairy back !
Trig,
Hey you never know so gloves would come in handy. Even if you don't have a hairy back, got to be safe these days.
I try to read your posts when I get a chance, you know, with my busy life style(pfffft, who am I kidding! ;) ) it might take me a minute or so.

I need to write my lists of things to do before I die...maybe later....
Yes Tink you should write that list soon not later.
you know if i search thru one of the boxes labeled bathroom that i still havent unpacked after 4 months of living back at the parents house i might find that lil container of hot wax and some strips.. if we cant wax his whole back we could atleast put fun shapes and dirty words in the thick hairy spots
I have already personally waxed the bastards back
wasn't pretty ladies I can tell you ....smooth as the
statue of david now
EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW *deep breath* WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
LOL
ROTFLMAO!! Good one Barbra. We can even do pictures with the wax.
BLOG whoreavich ...quit fucking with these people .
You know as well as I the reason you come no closer
to me than the length of a baseball bat .

My back is no fucking need of delipitation !
awwww we made trig ue the f word..
im so proud..
now why dont i get these kinds of turn outs and playing in my comments...
Yes we did make us F word. Shame on us.
I don't know that is a good question, it never happens to me either.
i should make a post about sperm...
ill put that on the to do list..
You must use sperm in the title Barbra Anne
or Dr amy
or cunt
or heroin
There you go use one of those words. Pretty sure you will get a good turn out. Trig and Fireeyes24 will be right over there.
well theres a whole blog about sperm.. with a nod to amy.. LOL but the title is just "Bet you didnt know"
I cant bring myself to use the C word for anything.. its way meaner than the F world.. :P
Good post it was also. Good Job Barbra anne