lunacy reins.. ha

DECEMBER 27, 2011 6:48PM

Eli these, uh, cookies taste awful... doggie what?

Rate: 21 Flag

 

"ELI, what the hell kind of cookies are these and where did you get them?"

I did actually know where they came from- gwammas', Christmas Eve when he visited. The brightly decorated sack had ridden in the console of the truck since then when he returned.

Today, after I lacquered the driftwood...

 

...well, I was a bit hungry, enough to be curious about the contents of same said sack.

I pulled one of the gnarliest cookies I'd ever seen from the top and gave it a bite without much thought. I was pre-occupied, just wanted a wee snack you see. Not all cookies are especially pretty anyway... I rationalized.

These were most likely done by one of his female cousins, not so experienced in baking and presentation.

I shouldn't let the appearance deter me from sampling their work.

 

It was dry... not so surprising.

Not sweet in the least. No.

Chew... hmmm, some sort of Russian recipe from the steppes during a period of awful austerity?  

(one cup of mouse turd, etc) 

 

Uh... Gag... "SON!!"

"What Dad-- why the sour face? You look like you just ate one of those doggie snacks. You... no you didn't!" 

"Doggie snack?"  

 

 So, I gave the remaining chunk of baked whatever it is to the dog.

The above is him trying to distance himself. 

This, a dog that will gleefully roll around in the remnants of week old fish carci at peak summer heat.   

 

I've spent the time since wincing, gargling and trying to keep my mind off of what those little mincemeat colored specs are.. ewww!

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Ladies, do you suppose that if you bake for canines (and why must you anyway?) the taste should be repulsive?
tr ig, i was laughing OUT LOUD before I read a word! When I saw the photo, oh I just knew. I'm sorry to laugh at your expense, but that's freakin' funny. I HAVE baked treats for my dogs, and I did taste them. A little bland for my taste, but doggies have such developed senses. Mine were not repulsive. Bad sign that poochie didn't like them! *still chuckling*
Firechick... stop it!

If you know, please DO NOT tell me what the chunks might be.

WHY?WHY?WHY?
Let's pretend they were dehydrated bacon bits to imitate chocolate chips, since chocolate is supposed to be deadly for doggies. . .

R♥
Are my eyes playing a trick or did your avatar just change?
Bacon bits I can live with.. whew fusuna

yeah it just changed :) going for a faux Lauerman look
One of my deep dark secrets is that I used to munch on doggie biscuits all the time. I'm not much for sweets and the hard-tack texture did the same for me as it is advertised to do for dogs it cleaned my teeth very nicely. At my next dentist appointment my dentist accused me of getting my teeth cleaned by another dentist!!!

Oh yeah, I always checked the ingredients list on the package to be sure there was only vegetable matter in those biscuits. I was assuming that the manufacturer wouldn't lie about that.....

.
Trig, ha! I have seen doggie cookies at the pet store and some of them look quite appetizing. Naturally, the dogs could not care less what they look like, which is so ironic!
sky... quit playing, this is serious!

designanator, no, dog don't give a sh*t what it looks like. go more on smell instinct. my dog HATED IT.
HA
I'm glad this included photos because otherwise I would have just figured "lacquered the driftwood" was another one of your euphemisms for self love.
LOL!!! After just reading your last post I came here expecting to read of a wonderful day spent with Eli ... but NOPE! it's about you eating doggie treats! Oh dear! Poor tr ig.

Merry Christmas, tr ig!
What's with the new avatar? You trying to look intellectual or somethin'?
tr ig -- trust me, you don't want to know what those chunks are. Ignorance is bliss here.

@ alsoknownas -- I collect euphemisms for masturbation. awesome.
Too funny. Particularly when the dog wouldn't eat it. Dogs eat everything.
aka forgot to mention that I oiled the mast first, before the lacquer job.

LK! Sometimes there are days like these. Thanks for reading the eve blog too.. saw your comment

sweetfeet, took a new avatar to bring you back. THAT is why!

firechick...

jslathre- hello.. my dog will have nothing to do with these "treats!"
Ewwww. You have my sympathy. And you've triggered my gag reflex.
Hahahahahaha! The minute I saw that bag, I knew you had screwed up, tr ig. Your doggie looks like he'd rather go to the vet than nibble on that vile thing. I'll be laughing about this for a few days.

Lezlie
~herk~

if you ever find out what was in 'em, don't tell me. :)
I have a friend that makes organic dog treats and they are yummy.
lefty... could be, wouldn't doubt it!

unbreakable: sympathies appreciated and sorry for the gag but, not really. Is what it is ya know :)

Lezlie, the dog would rather get a shot.. no kidding!

femme ~HERK~

catholic girl and jane-- you eat dog treats? Love ya nevertheless. Strange subject today
oh yes too...
IS good to have Eli home, very much so.. even though he's gone now. He's in high demand around here.
A "faux Lauerman look"? I was going to ask if you used up all your "Savage Tan" Christmas present gift certificates in one marathon session.

I think the driftwood would make a cool hood ornament.

As for the "cookie" don't worry; a little chicken by-product, animal digest and fructooligosaccarides never hurt anyone. Just top 'em with some Betty Crocker ready-made frosting and they'll taste like granny's finest.
Have you been working in or around a nuclear power plant?

You have a "glow" .

Maybe it's a reaction to the cookies.
Week old fish carci at high summer heat is a delicacy.

My niece is the dog biscuit queen in my family. Her biscuits were doggie shapes, which helped, and smelled deliciously of garlic. Lance thoroughly enjoyed them. I could get you the recipe, if you're looking to expand your diet.
There is an excellent bakery in Sherpherstown, West Virginia. One morning I took my two Grandchildren for some bakery treats. Annabella is seven-and-one-half. Louis is three. Annabells picked out great pastries and several dog bone shaped treats. I took a couple bites of the dog bone shaped Biscuit.
The Biscuits were in a glass jar. I never read.
Annabella usually gets too spoiled if with me.
I said:`
`
"I don't think you will like these bone "Treats."
She yelled`
"Pa Pa! They aren't people food! It's dog food!"
`
In school someone stole my lunch from my locker.
The thefts happened almost ever day. I fixed that.
I made thick-spread Alpo Cat Food on whole wheat.
The sandwich must have tasted like Chinese SPAM?
Whoever ate that sandwich was sent to the morgue.
Consider yourself fortunate they were made for dogs...I've had baked goods made for humans that tasted as bad as your description.
Cool post...sorry about the doggie cookie..yuck!
Every day I walk past a doggie bakery, yes that's right, a freaking doggie bakery, and look at the beautiful treats. I'd eat one in a heartbeat if I could afford one. Who pay four dollars for a croissant much less a damn doggie treat? All right, I'm lying, I wouldn't eat one but they look awesome. How bad could they be?
The longest lived dog was an Australian blue cattle dog ( Bluey ) who lived to 29 1/2, and ate table scraps.
Not tinned food or cookies.
Who makes cookies for dogs then wraps them in cellophane a dog can't even open ?
Anyway you only ate half of one & you seem to still be alive ( ARF !)
unless that's really you, in the avatar.
Dessicated liver is one ingredient I've heard goes into the recipe for those...If one leg wiggles when someone is scratching your back, you know the transformation has begun.
Those mincemeat colored specks are liver dearheart ;).

Yes, I've baked cookies for the critters :D.

I've also shared the occasional Milk Bone and Liv a Snap..

Rated for tolerant amusement.