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FEBRUARY 19, 2012 7:55PM

Life & Death

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It’s been a strange few months.  There is new life around me daily.  And there also has been death.  The birth of my daughter’s twin girls has certainly had me waxing philosophical.  New life, possibilities, hopes, dreams.

 

I remember looking at a picture of my own family of origin, and in retrospect, how sad the realization that the outcomes and dreams were not met.  Sometimes ending in tragedy, as happens a lot in life.  All of life, of course, ends in death.

Here on OS I read of Lunchlady’s loss; Amy Abbott’s mom just passed, and the sad tale of Candace’s brother.

 

Two weeks ago, a fellow worker, a policeman at City Hall, who I had known for 17 years, went home from work, took off his gun belt, laid it on the counter and dropped dead.  They say he was dead before he hit the floor.  He was one month younger than I.  Yes, he was gone about 25 years too soon, but there was certainly no suffering involved.

 

Candace asked in her recent piece why doesn’t the suffering happen to some awful person who the world doesn’t care about?  Why the good ones?  Questions with no answers.

My girls lost two acquaintances from High School last week.  Both in their early 20’s.  One to suicide another, at a party, while someone in another room was showing off a gun (that he had a permit for), thinking it was not loaded, shot it into a wall.  The bullet struck this girl in the next room.  She died.  “There but for the grace of god”….

   

We all start as innocent as my little grandbabies.  As my own little babies.  As innocent as my brothers and sisters.  We can be the best people in the world – or the worst.  It seems that what happens – happens.  Shit happens. Good things happen too, I know.  I don’t know what the answer is.  I suppose the answer is to be prepared.  Be prepared for anything.  I used to be much more of an optimist, pessimism has a way of taking you down a notch.

I know in my own little world, we have been saying “I love you” a little more.  You never know what your last words will be.

As far as my grandbabies.  I will still hope – hope for the possibilities, opportunities, dreams.  I have to hope, and also say “I love you” a little more.

8 Weeks Old:

Car seats

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Couch 

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Holding Hands 

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family, life, optimist, pessimist

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Marlene ~ I can't begin to count the number of times when a wonderful person passed on suddenly and far before their time and reflecting upon the evil dictators, criminals, and other assorted awful people still populating the planet. Having cute babies around is a perfect reminder that great things with lots of promise still happen on Earth!
Thanks John. I think I just need to hear the positives these days.
The babies are beautiful. New life, hopes, and possibilities. May their lives be joyous.
Our minds seem to be linked in a wish for hope for the future for those we love. I think saying I love you more, appreciating each day as a gift are all we can do all we can "control"...
Your granddaughters are so precious.
Trilogy: A simple title with a lot of weight. Being around the very young wakes us up in many ways; such hope and promise ahead. And life intervenes ... (I just cut a large part of my comment because it was depressing and I'm trying to remain positive). So, yes, say I love you and hold those close tightly. Such precious little babies.
Oh What cute little girls! I love how they have each other. What a bond that must be. I feel so adrift in life sometimes. No anchor except my two daughters. I am so glad I had them. Great post.
Phyllis - thank you for your kind wish
LL: Yes, appreciating each day as a gift is really the key. And all the days we've had with those we love, no matter how short or long.
Scarlett: "Life intervenes" that's the problem, isn't it?
Zanelle: I was thinking that too. They have each other. As my twin daughters have each other (though that doesn't mean they always get along) but someone's hand to hold is a blessing in itself.
Your grandbabies are gorgeous. I'm glad they give you hope. Hold them, love them and revel in the gift! As for the rest of it...no answers, just commiseration...
Oh those are cute babies. Yes, say I love you...and let that be the first and last thing you think every new day.
My post is similar tonight...those babies are gorgeous. My grandchildren force me to laugh when I want to crawl in a corner and beat the walls and cry. They may be my ticket to sanity.
With all this sadness and death that seems to be around us lately, how wonderful and amazing to see these beautiful babies. You are love and surrounded by it.
rated with love
Babies are the chance for hope, faith renewed, and a promise of the future. So sad about the young girls...
Babies are proof that life needs itself, so it continues. I often wonder about why horrible people often have no suffering, then I remember that in life, we don't get what we deserve, we get what we get. Thank goodness there are babies around, those twins are soooo cute.
I think that's why God gives us the gift of those precious babies - so we'll be remember there is still hope. Like Mimetalker says, my grandbabies are often what keeps me sane. Those are some gorgeous babies you've got there.
R
You speak many important truths here, but none more important than saying I love you and appreciating the joy in the cycle of life through those beautiful new souls.
it makes me smile to see new pics of the girls, marlene. has it really been two months already? of course, that makes me smile too - since i said that about simone back when she was a few months old and she'll be eight years old next month. as the french say, the more things change, the more they stay the same. thanks for the tether back to solid ground. there's nothing sweeter than those kids holding each other's fingers.
Eva. Good to see you. "No answers" actually makes me feel understood.
Maureen; Yes, first and last thing everyday. Great advice.
mime: Ticket to sanity - I get it.
RP: Thank you. Love is the answer, isn't it?
Thanks Lisa
Bleu: We don't get what we deserve. I thank god too there are babies around.
Kim: Yes, babies are what god calls "hope" you are right!
Sally: Thanks for coming by. Thanks for understanding.
Candace: Just hold on to your brother's finger a little while longer. ♥
Hope. That's all: Hope.
The eternal "why." Why is there suffering? Why do bad people seem to get off easy? Why do some people die before their time?

Why isn't life fair. That's really the question.

For one thing, there's no such thing as fair.

My own husband died at 40. So young, everyone said, too soon. Yet he'd lived a full life, achieved professional success, enjoyed the love & respect of family and friends. Never went hungry, never was homeless. And his death was quick. To someone in a country where the average life expectancy is only 40 and every day of those 40 years is a struggle to survive, Keith did pretty well, even in his passing.

I suppose if you believe in God and an afterlife as I do, then really, there's no such thing as "too soon." Because this life is "but a vapor." Believing that makes everything else tolerable. As do those beautiful babies. And who knows; maybe they'll be the ones who discover the answers we're all looking for.
Such beautiful grandbabies and I hope their lives are truly blessed. I think having little ones in the family always makes the oldest generation pensive.

I hear and read of so many tragic deaths lately and having lost both my parents now am very aware of my own mortality.

There seems little we can do but accept, no matter how awful the circumstances. There seems no justice in our world, but maybe there's a bigger picture we may understand one day. I cling to that hope.
As I spend my days watching Mom preparing for her own passing....I, too, find comfort in the wonderment of lives lived and lost. Grandbabies..... what an unforgettable journey to embark on. I love you's last forever. Nicely done Marlene.
I loved what you wrote.
Often I have more questions than answers and some days are easier than others to remain optimistic.
Having those beautiful grandbabies should do the trick for you! They are gorgeous and will bring joy into your heart.
So precious are those babies. They are beginning their journey...and your love is part of it. They are part of your journey as well.
May your children grow up to be as good as you.
•.•♥╔╗╦╦╗▄║╔╗╔╗ & ╗╔╗╔╔╗╔╗•(¯ `v´¯ )◦•*✿
•.•♥╚╗║║║╦║╠╝╚╗ & ╠╣║║║╦╚╗(¯` ❤ .¯ )✿
•.•♥╚╝──╚╩╚╚╝╚╝ & ╝╚╚╝╚╝╚╝◦.(_.^._)•*¨✫
❊¸.•*´¨`*•.¸❊¸.•*´¨`*•.¸❊¸.•*´  ¨`*•.¸❊¸.•*´¨`*•.¸❊
Have a beautiful new week with love and happiness❤¸.•*¨✫
Those little ones are looking wonderful!
I believe hope is the corner stone of life.
Well done
~R~
These things are happening to people around me, too. Yes, more "I love you"s and more love.
One thing is for sure, if we live long enough we will see the passing of those around us.

Births and deaths have a way of making us think about our mortality. We can't know the plans for us, but we can choose how we spend our time while waiting to find out.

I think twins are really special, and I smile every time I see them.
Beautiful babies, you must be so proud. As for this: "Candace asked in her recent piece why doesn’t the suffering happen to some awful person who the world doesn’t care about?"

It's a cliche, but it's a comforting one -- only the good die young. Or as they say around me -- and likely of me -- the ornery you are, the long God makes you live and suffer.

As we witnessed yet again with Whitney Houston, good people -- rich and poor, famous and not -- aren't free from the incredible pressures life can impose. Frankly, given the current financial crisis created by the masters of greed (who in a just world would have all died a-borning), I'm surprised there haven't been a lot more suicides.

Certainly, suicide has become just short of epidemic in the military -- yet another reason war should be a very, very, very last resort -- and not the first, as we witnessed with the previous chickenhawk administration.

Forgive my ramble, but it bears repeating until the deaf finally hear.
I never fail to tell Terri I love her everyday. As you so eloquently say, you just never know.
Looking at the photos of those precious babies,I see hope and perfection. Perhaps for only a moment, but each moment is an eternity somewhere else.
Beautiful babies, you must be so proud. As for this: "Candace asked in her recent piece why doesn’t the suffering happen to some awful person who the world doesn’t care about?"

It's a cliche, but it's a comforting one -- only the good die young. Or as they say around me -- and likely of me -- the ornery you are, the long God makes you live and suffer.

As we witnessed yet again with Whitney Houston, good people -- rich and poor, famous and not -- aren't free from the incredible pressures life can impose. Frankly, given the current financial crisis created by the masters of greed (who in a just world would have all died a-borning), I'm surprised there haven't been a lot more suicides.

Certainly, suicide has become just short of epidemic in the military -- yet another reason war should be a very, very, very last resort -- and not the first, as we witnessed with the previous chickenhawk administration.

Forgive my ramble, but it bears repeating until the deaf finally hear.
Oh Trilogy, those are such beautiful little angels. They do remind us of just how precious life is.
Oh my gosh, Marlene! Those precious baby girls!!! You must be off the charts ecstatic over this blessed event! My babies are getting so big, I can't stand it! Almost 5 and 3! Dang where does the time go! You must want to kiss their sweet baby cheeks every minute of the day! Sorry to hear of your daughters losses and the loss of your friend, recently. As we get older, the death toll rises all around us. I know that is stark and blunt, but ain't it the truth?! Sucks! But the photos of your "G" babies gives us so much hope, joy and sheer giddiness, over their arrival and innocent energy that keeps this planet on its positive spin.
Oh you guys are wonderful.
I was just in "one of those moods" and not saying anything new, of course, the age old question of "why are we here' "what's the purpose of life" but to have all you friends come by and just say what you said - makes me feel so much better. Thanks
And Margaret - I love your attitude. And I loved how you said
"And who knows; maybe they'll be the ones who discover the answers we're all looking for." Now there is something to hold on to.
There is so much death in the air, and yet, so much life. We are in a circle of beginnings and endings, always.
Through My Eyes: I'm so sorry you are having to go through that now. It gives us all such a different perspective.
Linda & Mary & all who reiterated that Hope is what to hold on to.
Tom: I forgive your rambling - because it wasn't rambling - so true (But did you have to say it twice? Ha!)
Marlene, your words are so perfect, as perfect as those two precious souls. I imagine you can't keep your hands off them. They really are our future. r
Just about sums up my view of life. I've lost a lot of people and it rarely makes sense. But then there are new people and new life, and it's still beautiful.
Birth and death...the cycle of life. So many unanswerable questions can keep the mind spinning and keep us from being, feeling and in the now. The photos are dear, such a miracle, so much hope...
much love,
Liz
To lose all hope is to die inside ... so, yes, keep hoping for wonderful possibilities, opportunities and dreams for your grandbabies.

8 weeks old already? Wow! So precious and as cute as anything!

Oh ... and Tril ...

I love you.