It’s been a strange few months. There is new life around me daily. And there also has been death. The birth of my daughter’s twin girls has certainly had me waxing philosophical. New life, possibilities, hopes, dreams.
I remember looking at a picture of my own family of origin, and in retrospect, how sad the realization that the outcomes and dreams were not met. Sometimes ending in tragedy, as happens a lot in life. All of life, of course, ends in death.
Here on OS I read of Lunchlady’s loss; Amy Abbott’s mom just passed, and the sad tale of Candace’s brother.
Two weeks ago, a fellow worker, a policeman at City Hall, who I had known for 17 years, went home from work, took off his gun belt, laid it on the counter and dropped dead. They say he was dead before he hit the floor. He was one month younger than I. Yes, he was gone about 25 years too soon, but there was certainly no suffering involved.
Candace asked in her recent piece why doesn’t the suffering happen to some awful person who the world doesn’t care about? Why the good ones? Questions with no answers.
My girls lost two acquaintances from High School last week. Both in their early 20’s. One to suicide another, at a party, while someone in another room was showing off a gun (that he had a permit for), thinking it was not loaded, shot it into a wall. The bullet struck this girl in the next room. She died. “There but for the grace of god”….
We all start as innocent as my little grandbabies. As my own little babies. As innocent as my brothers and sisters. We can be the best people in the world – or the worst. It seems that what happens – happens. Shit happens. Good things happen too, I know. I don’t know what the answer is. I suppose the answer is to be prepared. Be prepared for anything. I used to be much more of an optimist, pessimism has a way of taking you down a notch.
I know in my own little world, we have been saying “I love you” a little more. You never know what your last words will be.
As far as my grandbabies. I will still hope – hope for the possibilities, opportunities, dreams. I have to hope, and also say “I love you” a little more.
8 Weeks Old: