Harro Ferrow Broggers,
I, Mary Lin, most honorably despised shopping spammer have special inTERRORgation…so sorry me makey tie poop…interview for you for $69.99!
If you have not noticed, one of your own, Trudge164 has not posted anything in over two weeks. You most likely no notey because he such bottom-feeder that no won notice he gonee.
You see, Trudge go deep undercover again. He try to hunt more spammers, but this time we catch him. He no so smart like he thinkey he is. Me and Bendan Bendan set trap and capture your beloved Trudge. We got his passward and screamname and now we commando his brog.
First took him to Happy Shop-in Place where-haus. Then, we water-board him, then we make him watch two seasons of American Idle Taiwan edition via live streaming. He cry likey bay watchee babe; he tink he so tuff, but he no tough guy he pussy. He bigga pussy then Tinkerertink69 and we all know how much pussy that cat is.
So here is transcript of interrogating of Trudge164.
Mary Lin: Trudge wake up. You sleep four hours on lazy boi recliner and pee in pants and on recliner. How me sell recliner for $359.99 if smell like you piss?
Trudge: Huh? Where am I?
Mary Lin: You in wear-hose of Happee chop Place. Where you think you are?
Trudge: Last thing I remember I was in an Oriental supermarket trying to buy fortune cookies so I can buy the lottery.
Mary Lin: Ha-ha-ha! Me read you Lose Chronos blog. Very funny, but stupid. Every one know those numbers bogus. Now tell why you no want spam on Open Sarong?
Trudge: Because you crog up the feed. Dammit! now you got me talking like you …clog up the feed.
Mary Lin: Right! Because more important to sell True Region jeans for $59.99 den to read stupid poetry, or latest Glen Becky bashing, boring friction, or latest dusty up, or musty ‘70s recipe card. Now why don’t you buy Air Joedans for $29.99?
Trudge: Never! I’ll never buy those counterfeit shoes.
Mary Lin: Perhaps Missta Bendan Bendan make you buy?
Trudge: Is he going to kill me?
Bendan Bendan: No! Mr. Trudge. I want you to buy! Jordash jeans for $79.99.
Trudge: Never!
Mary Lin: You tuff cookie, Trudge. Maybe if we show you live streaming of Homey Shop CLub. You buy?
Trudge: Not in this lifetime.
Mary Lin: Why you no buy?
Trudge: Because I spent all my money on freeing a Nigerian Princess.
Mary Lin: You fool!
Bendan Bendan: Bah!
We also take Trudge arrow off and show you his real wee-wee. Is tiny! Ha-ha-ha! But no worry, we can make hissa member larger with special cream for $1999.99, you two!
We spammer sending all Open Salon Blogger special message for $99.99:
No F**key with spammers.
The End?
Image Sources:
TIP:
Enter the amount, and click "Tip" to submit!
Max Rivlin-Nadler
Marilyn Sands
Ande Bliss
Gary Justis
Living with Caer
500words
Salon.com
Comments
Cranky Cuss did a blog about her this week and the OS anti spammer ripped his account down and spit it out.
He had to email Susan Creamer Joy to get her to email Emily to get his account back up hahaha.
Excellent post my dear
Rated with hugs
Tludge no bottom feeler - he smalt man.
Rated.
FusunA, tank u.
Good to see ya back Trudge ;).
Rated for Pegasus.
Linda's right. I did a post on the spammers the other day and it got picked up by the spam filter and got my whole account deleted. So if your page disappears, you'll know what happened. Actually, it's the weekend so you're probably safe. The spammers run this place on the weekend.
I just decided to take this for what I imagine Trudge intended, a piece of so-called 'black humor' (see? That can be seen as offensive too, and yet it's a simple easily recognized and understood literary term). I doubt that Trudge intended any offense.
Willie on the other hand needs a slap upside the head ;).
(dashing off after Tink into those thorn bushes, hoping Willie won't catch up :)
Mary Lin is more likely to be a peasant girl from western China lured to Shenzhen manufacturing region with the promise of a high-tech job and free "Louie Vitton" handbags. I'm mean, if we're going to find humor in stereotypes, let's at least get it right.
But I am not Asian and refuse to try to speak for their feelings about the broken English. It has to hurt.
You are a class act, Grace, and take my word for it, Trudge intended no insult, except to the language used by spammers of all races, creeds, religions, colors and national origins.
God help us if My people ever start this spam crap.
"We be fo shizzle with the pizzle! NiKE cheap, motherfucker!"
Good times in City of Dragons, yessir!! :D
Rated. Welcome back. By the way, you left? ;D
She's actually latino, but everyone gets her confused for Asian.
I know, even better!!
But it's all good, cause, well, she does have a tattoo of a dragon on her ass, so in the end, it all works out!!!
Sfgg, now you my friend, I find offensive. Trying to pretend you're from the Jersey Shores with your, "wasssssup?" and then trying to pretend that you hung out with Snookie and Jackie Chan on that warm July morning back in 2009!!
Screw you, I hung out with Snookie and Jackie Chan on that warm July morning in 2009, and you weren't there!! BUGGER OFF!!
:D
Nice try though, you do strip show? Hello?
Damn Matt taking my dates like that!! :(
Bad taste......
What can ya do.......?
OK, I'll read it because of its "good fun".
But I won't rate it because of its "bad taste".
Everybody OK with that?
I wish to apologize if you found this post to be offensive to you and your cultural background. As you inferred, my intent was not meant to offend Asians. This post was more of a way of releasing my frustrations over how Open Salon has been inundated with spammers especially over the weekend.
I used “Hop Sing Chinglish” because it appears that the spammers are from Asia (but maybe not) and it seems these spammers use broken English. Unfortunately, “Chinglish” was the only way that I (in my limited capacity as a writer) could effectively communicate how these spammers would sound. When I started to write this post, I was thinking of an angle, and I thought about some old film noir movies which heavily relied on stereotypes and most people would be able to relate to. That was all; as I mentioned above, it was not meant to be offensive to any one person or culture.
I know more serious-minded, Open Salon Bloggers have addressed the issue about the tsunami of spam we have been experiencing; and they have proposed some solutions, but I am not that well-versed in the ways of the Internet and HTML, so I made of fun of it. Personally, I think this spam attack is an inside job, but no one wants to listen to a clown like me.
As to Mary Lin, remember she is most likely made up. She doesn’t exist. Just like most of the screen names, avatars, and personas on Open Salon are made up, the Spammer known as Mary Lin is most likely a guy named Joe from Hoboken New Jersey. I mean who would name their child Trudge164? lol
Again, I apologize to you and anyone else who may have been offended by this post.
Crank Cuss, I know. I may be politcally suicidal, but I'm not stupid. I took Linda's comment to heart and I sent Emily a PM. I hope she read its first thing Monday. If not, I bequeath you all my Favorites.
LittleWillie, yeah I know. I was in Japan.
Seer, that is the problem with PC. We wind up censoring ourselves.
Tink, ty 4 da heads up.
Tink, I knew she was one of my kind.
Matt, both. I'll buy those sneakers as soon as I get my money back from some guy Nigeria.
Gabby, I just ordered five cases.
Skypixieo, thanks.
Algis Kemezys, what can I tell you. I'm cool like that.
Poppi, please buy the bags. Just four hundred more and I'll be free.
Cindy, thanks. BTW, I am not a crook nor a spammer.
Alysa, please see my apology to Grace below.
Maybe I knew Trudge's intent. Maybe I knew that he was playing off film noir styles rather than perpetrating a negative image. And no, I'm not of Asian extraction. But it brings up issues of taste, lines in the sand (those lines being movable), familiarity and sensitivity.
In a recent Comcast ad (one I laugh at but recognize as stereotypical), a Russian mobster walks through a gold-encrusted palatial home, followed by beautiful, large-chested women and pointing out things he's acquired and loves (a gold bar, rare animals, etc) in a laughably exaggerated Russian dialect. Is this insulting? Or are we supposed to be sophisticated enough to know this is a make-believe or at least highly exaggerated stereotype?
Just asking.
"Mary Lin" truly should have been Mary Rin
Open Salon should have been Open Saron (ohhhhh please open Saron)
Homey Shop CLub - should have been Homey Shop Crub, etc....
I think Trudge have been kidnapped by Dick Cheney and is being herd at Gitmo for hisss anti-estabrishment rhetoric.
UNITE ARR ! UNITE. Let's meet John Stewart and Stephen Colbert at the marr, whatever marr is in your neighborhood and free Trudge.
BTW I rove the tatoo
And since I've stated that, I'll go further: An apology that has the words "if I offended" or "may have offended" is not really an apology. Again, that's just my opinion, and others may differ on it and that's ok too.
Yes, I am sensitive because the subject at hand is my ethnicity. But I also try to be the kind of person who doesn't just sit silently if joking goes from being off-color to, say... really off-color.
I suppose there is also the fear that this whole China-globalization-cheap manufacturing thing going on is priming Asians to become the next Russians, or Muslims, or Mexican immigrants, or gays, or whatever group gets villainized for the downfall of America.
I appreciate the dialogue on OS and if I ever offend you and your people, call me on it.
Boomer, stand down. Using my Special Ops training I was able to escape and evade the evil Spam Empire.
bbd, thanks for your opinion and the tips on where the spammers are coming from. BTW, what's "Whois" Search?
By plugging in the IP address number from one of my spammers, it identifies the location of the sender. 120.43.4.125 yields that the sender is using the ChinaNet ISP in Fujian Province, and gives the physical street address of China Telecom which is routed through Beijing. Phone numbers for the ISP in Beijing are provided, but I doubt calling them would do any good. An anti spam message in this case can be sent to anti-spam@ns.chinanet.cn.net but I'm thinking that should be the job of Open Salon, not us mere bloggers.
Don't worry about offending me and my culture. I'm a New York Cuban living in Miami. I have been offended by non-Cubans for being Cuban and Cubans for being too Americanized and speaking Spanish with an American accent. By now, I'm immune to racial slurs. However, I grew up in NYC and learned to fight back with words. Besides, I subscribe to the saying, "sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me".
Now let me put on my Guayabera shirt, lit up a big fat Cuban cigar and watch beisbol as I munch on chicharones.
Tho I have to say, shamefully, that I'd love to see a full-scale Xenonlit muthah-fuckah version.
Does anyone know what a Nigerian accent is like?
Or.....*idea*.....you could rewrite the whole thing, but with Mary Lin being a perfect English-speaker but glamorous villainness a la James Bond. (That might redirect the apparent mockery from a whole race to a specific sub-category of annoyance.)
fdia, zap!