As I watch the daily national and local news, there is a sense of barely-contained chaos; of the wheels slowly-but-surely coming off the vehicle that has carted us here and there for the last umpteen years, allowing us to view, review and make judgments on our own circumstances, as well as those of a wider scope, say, on a national and even global scale. I watch the news on television, read it online via Salon and several online newspapers - personal picks whose identities reveal little or much about me, depending on whom you ask. I read a lot of commentary from different sources, in an attempt to fill in the gaps made by news sources that are inevitably slanted to one side or the other. In other words, I make an attempt to remain fair and open-minded before I make up my mind about the current state of national and world affairs.  

I steer away from most political debate, as I find that in almost every case, it too quickly devolves into name-calling and character-assassination. Most of us just can’t seem to help ourselves, taking the path of least resistance that leads to the same mud-slinging tactics we’ve come to tolerate, even encourage, from our political honchos. The crass behavior and sense of intolerance that once would have been considered unthinkable is now heartily embraced by opposing sides of a hot-bed of issues. The old saw, I have met the enemy, and he is us, comes to mind.

 

I long for a simpler, gentler time; one that is constrained by civility, compassion and a sincere desire to focus more intently on similarities than on differences. I wish for a time when our differences didn’t divide us so sharply, but instead provided the impetus for a united push for solutions. We seem to have adopted the attitude of my way or the highway as our rallying cry. Who wins with that refrain as the backdrop for every discourse? No one, of course. No one wins. But, we are all about winning, about being the best, the brightest, the most, and the biggest. In that realm, someone has to be the winner, and someone has to be the loser.

 Is it our extreme sense of independence as a country, birthed from our forefathers at the founding of this country, which has led us to this point? Have we come to this place of deep divide because of our determination to outwit, outlast, outplay? Have we forgotten how to link our arms and move forward in unison to confront the issues that now threaten to topple the biggest, best and brightest country in the world, as we have proudly labeled ourselves? My fear is that the answer to that question is a resounding YES! 

Now, having defined from whence I come, I am compelled to define myself. Who am I within the complicated framework of that which holds me captive in its bosom, the land of my birth? Who am I? Does my adherence to certain political beliefs or a particular moral code set me at odds with my fellow man? My answer to that would most certainly be that it does. Has it become more important that we think alike, believe alike and walk perfectly in step than the fact that we share certain basic common denominators? Do we place more emphasis on our differences than we do on our likenesses? God help us, I believe we do. Much to our detriment, I believe that indeed we do.

 

It has been said that those who stand for nothing will fall for anything. A cute, quaint axiom to be sure, but behind those simple words stands a great truth. For myriad reasons, we have become a nation of finger-pointers; one that is so caught up in the act of pointing out the faults and foibles of others that we have neglected to develop our own foundations. We can so easily identify what makes others weak or wrong or misguided. Can we chronicle our own beliefs or stances with the same gusto? For that matter, can we admit to our own failings? Are we willing to do that, thereby risking our own vulnerability to create a meaningful dialogue? Have we lost the capacity to display humility, show grace or extend generosity of spirit?

 

I choose to believe that we have not lost the better parts of ourselves beneath all the blaming, chest-pounding and casting of aspersions. Humility, grace and generosity of spirit are still in abundant display when we interact one-on-one, when one of our own reaches out with a hurting heart. More often than not, there is a rush to comfort, not a rush to judgment. It is those times when we allow ourselves to look at the other person’s humanity, instead of a political stance, instead of a moral code, instead of a particular belief system; those are the times when we exhibit the grace and mercy that keep us from becoming rigid automatons. Generosity of spirit effectively prohibits us from assigning blame or dissecting the behavior of a person who has trusted enough to make themselves vulnerable to us.

 

If only we could remember to reach into those parts of ourselves when confronted with someone ascribing to differing ideologies. But, we are a passionate people with fervent beliefs. It can be a good thing to be willing to fight for our beliefs, as long as we do not decimate our opponent in the process.

 

Back to my original premise: Who am I?

 

I am a person of faith, faith that has been tested and tried and tempered over the years, faith that has weathered being put away on a shelf for long periods of time and then taken down, dusted off and tried on again. I am generally conservative in my political leanings, but I cringe at the thought of being associated with those who identify themselves as conservatives and hold a take-no-prisoners, unyielding, uncompromising position that leaves no room for questions too big for a pat answer, or for the possibility that every thought in their head is not unflinchingly holy and correct. I am a fifty-three year old woman who has been through the fire and lived to tell the tale. I am no longer rigid and unbending in my beliefs, although I was those things at one point in my life. I try to choose grace and mercy over judgment and piety at every opportunity.   I believe in the power of love, as well as the transforming power of forgiveness. I believe in second, third, and even fourth chances – how many of us got it right the first time around, anyway? I know that there are more things I have yet to learn than there are things I have already learned. I do not have all the answers, although I do have a few and I hold firm to those.

 

Finally, and I think, most importantly, I believe that we are all more alike than we are different. And I believe that we have lost our way, and found ourselves on a path that encourages us to wave those differences like a banner. I believe it is time to turn around and chose the other path – the one that leads to reconciliation and understanding. The path that unites us, instead of separating us.

 

Now you know who I am. Who are you?

 

Links to posts answering this OC:

 

Satori1