Unbreakable's Pearls of Wisdom...

...and Foolish Mutterings

Unbreakable

Unbreakable
Location
Down the rabbit hole, Texas,
Birthday
December 06

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OCTOBER 9, 2011 12:36PM

What I Have Learned

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I was never one to keep a journal, not until blogging came along, anyway. I much prefer blogging to keeping a journal because, truth be told, I'm all about the attention and accolades. Not much of that going on with a journal, since they are supposed to be private and all. I have a kind of split personality thing when it comes to private vs. attention-seeking. There are many things about which I can be very private, but even those aren't sacred given my temperment at a given moment.

I've written blogs, right here on OS actually, spur-of-the-moment verbal purgings that were better left unsaid. Thank goodness for clear-thinking friends who encouraged me to delete those blogs that would certainly have come back to haunt me later. (You know who you are. Thank you. Seriously. Thank you.)

It's not only in the blog-o-sphere that I exhibit this impulsive, spontaneous explosion of action with little or no forethought. I tend towards the fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants school of thought. If a random thought grabs my attention and seems appealing at the time, I'm just as likely as not to act upon it. This drives my husband insane, he of the infinite planning, studying and considering persuasion. For example, I know he is sweating bullets right now, afraid that I will impulsively change jobs because of the horrendous (my word, not his) slight leveled upon me recently by my boss. Hubby has made it his mission in life of late to convince me that the entire episode was unintentional (on the boss's part) and blown out of proportion (on my part.) I'm still deciding. In the meantime, my resume is getting a good dusting off and feelers are going out. No harm in that, right? Right, but let's just keep this to ourselves, shall we? No need to ruffle hubby's feathers for now.

So, we've established that I'm impulsive, that I often speak (or write) before I think, and that I'm a certified smart-ass (see previous blog for clarification on that last point.) I can live with that. There are worse traits to possess (or to be possessed by, for that matter.) I can also be extremely diplomatic when need be, although I find less and less need of that particular trait. It is a handy tool to keep on hand, as long as it's not overused. I am open-minded and willing to consider other viewpoints, but I am also quite sure of my core beliefs. I like a good joke, in fact, I LOVE a good joke. Don't hate me for this, but I am one of those people who is incapable of not laughing when someone falls down, gets hit by a ceiling fan blade (long story) or runs in to a wall. It's funny. Even if you don't laugh, you know it's funny.

There is so much more I could write about myself, but I'll forego that, unless, of course, you insist and then I could go on and on. PM me if you're really curious. But I digress.

What I have gleaned by reading back through a good many of the blogs I've written over the past two years on OS is this: when I believe something, I believe it with my whole heart. I throw myself into believing it to the point that everything else ceases to have meaning. Nothing exists for me except that moment in time and I am 100% sold out to it. There are no more corners to turn, no different paths to consider, there is just the pervasiveness of that very moment. This can be a dangerous thing. (And may very well explain why my husband is hell-bent on convincing me that I am over-reacting to a perceived slight - or as he likes to put it - spinning out of control.)

Although I am loathe to admit it, his viewpoint may very well have some validity. **cough, cough, choke, choke** What drives me to this conclusion is that in reviewing some of my writings from a year or more ago, I see that I was so completely enveloped in what was happening AT THAT MOMENT, there was no way I could possibly conceive of what awaited me around the next corner. To say that my life has changed 180 degrees in the last year is an understatement of mammoth proportions. Life does indeed go on, sometimes it gets worse before it gets better, sometimes it just gets better, but it never stays the same.

It's true that we make choices that effect our lives for better or worse. It's true that we often let the river of life carry us wherever it may. It's true that we can step off that ride at any time and change the course of our lives. All of these statements are proven and true and each one of them is worthy of an essay devoted entirely to that one single truth.

The choices we make are influenced by our nature. My nature is impulsive, compulsive and habitually spontaneous. Does the awareness of this fact change the way I react to a given situation? I don't know. The simple fact that I have finally become aware of all of the aforementioned seems to prove to me the value of keeping a journal - be it online or personal.

Why does this matter? It probably doesn't to anyone except me. This is me, thinking out loud. And this is me, saying thank you to all of you who have been with me on this amazing journey. I have learned from you, been admonished by you, had my views broadened by you - and it's all there in black and white for me to ponder.

I'm still pondering.

 

 

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Elbowing my way through the spam, jumping up to see over the tops of their spammy heads... Note to self... never post on a Sunday morning spammers delight!
I found you even though I can only pop in for a minute, but I am so glad I found you here so long ago and have enjoyed our journey so far together....
I love your spontaneity!!!
"It's true that we make choices that effect our lives for better or worse. It's true that we often let the river of life carry us wherever it may. It's true that we can step off that ride at any time and change the course of our lives. All of these statements are proven and true and each one of them is worthy of an essay devoted entirely to that one single truth."

I like this paragraph a lot...
"It's true that we make choices that effect our lives for better or worse. It's true that we often let the river of life carry us wherever it may. It's true that we can step off that ride at any time and change the course of our lives. All of these statements are proven and true and each one of them is worthy of an essay devoted entirely to that one single truth."

I like this paragraph a lot...
I like the impulsive, thinking out loud type blogs best of all. I once thought airing our dirty laundry online a pathetic idea. How things change indeed.

I empathise with your spontaneous, impulsive nature but time has taught me sometimes it's best to sit back and think things through a little before jumping in with both feet.

You're right though. What is important today is tomorrow's old news and who knows what may be itching to be written about tomorrow. Keep on doing what you do so well and stay just as you are.
My nature is impulsive, compulsive and habitually spontaneous.

Join the club.. no way else to be..:)
HUGGGGGGGGG
Me, too! But I've begun slowing down some with age...er, maturity. Yup that's the ticket. Maturity. I shall be ever grateful to you, Unbreakable Kim, for being the first OSer to laud my first fiction post here. I don't remember which one it was, but your validation elated me, something I needed quite much then. Still do, every so often. Don't we all?
LL2 - I, too, have very much enjoyed our journey together. It's been a wild ride at times, hasn't it? Much love to you, dear friend.

Patrick - thank you, I like the way that paragraph turned out too. I appreciate your pointing it out.

Linda C - I'm torn, as my blog so obviously points out, between giving in to my impulsive nature and learning to give a bit more consideration to things. It's a conundrum.

Linda S - Well, that spontaneity and impulsiveness has gotten me this far... :-)

Matt - what a lovely comment you've made here. Thank you for telling me that. I'm smiling ear to ear. Yes, we do all yearn for validation, don't we? No denying it. Thanks again, Matt. xoxo
We've been through it, haven't we, woman? Impulsive, compulsive -(imagine my hands out, palms up, one moving down, the other up, weighing, weighing) - different situations, different choices, one works best sometimes, then the other. Whatever you decide, just keep writing it out loud here. Hiding it away is no fun. Plus, as we have both learned (painfully now and then), it can be deleted. Poof. ;)
it matters to me too. i think we're related...
Girl I am new to you but I have to say this: good writers let it fly. They react and speak quickly while the feeling is under their skin. It is real and fabulous. Spontaneity is the main course of our lives without it we are mere appetizers - you are a full meal. Thanks. I am enjoying learning about you and your writing is spendid.
It matters to me that you're here and writing and sharing your thoughts and your words ... be it a year or so ago ... or now. Holding one another's hand as we travel down the road together is comforting.

Thank you, Kim ... sharing the journey with a friend is special.
Candace - It's been nothing if not interesting, right? And thank God for that delete button!

Lemonpulp - I've thought that for a long time now...

Dawn- "a full meal" - I like that! Thanks, Dawn. From someone whose writing I so enjoy, that's quite the compliment.

Kate - ah, Kate - one of my very favorite people to be sharing the journey with. You have made it a delight. Thank you!
I've always enjoyed your writing, a reflection (quite often) of my feelings at that time.

We all are given to thinking what is important is...well, important. Only later do we sometimes see it was impotent.

Keep writing!
I think "pondering" is the key word, that's what keeps us going. I used to wonder when I'd feeel I had arrived, but then, I think "arriving" is really the end of the journey. May the journey itself be full of variety and fascination to keep us "pondering" and marvelling along the way.
♥R
Sheila - We've seen each other through some sh*t, huh? I'm so happy to have followed you over here - writing on OS has kept me sane - well, maybe not completely, but sanER anyway. BIG (((HUGS))) to you, dear friend.

Fusun - great, insightful comment - thank you. As the plaque on my desk says, "The journey is the reward." xoxo
I am much like your husband but I have always tended to be invisible and listen and on;y speak when it warrants it. But writing here and other places I write I am more or less vocalizing here the same as you. I'll always listen and read what you say because it is usually interesting and sometimes slightly deranged. I like that in a person. Very well done my Friend you're doing great. My best as always and be safe.......o/e
o/e - I'm laughing here - "slightly deranged." That's perfect. You crack me up!
I love the spontaneous blogs, they're true to the spirit. I agree with Frank...beautiful paragraph.
Fay - thanks - my favorite kind, too. It always feels so self-indulgent, but still...
Well, thank you, Macco! I sincerely appreciate that. :)