Everybody Come To The Table...
Nothing about being on Death Row is cool. I think we can all agree to that. But that "last meal" thing they always report never fails to be a source of fascination to me.
"John Lee Harvey Wayne David Allen William PsychoKiller's last meal, in accordance with his wishes, was fried chicken, fish sticks, onion rings, apple pie, fritos, and Coca Cola."
Really? That's it? That's what this guy wanted to eat? Seriously? More than anything in the world?
Where's the imagination? The adventurousness? The last-ditch impulse to Stick It To The Man by costing a whole damned lot of money?
I tell you what. I ever end up snapping and make it all the way to the end of Death Row, my last meal's not gonna be cheap. You taxpaying suckers are gonna be on the ropes for the following meal:
Uni (a couple of trays, please)
Oysters (a couple of dozen)
Foie Gras (Yeah, you wanna make something of it? I'm about to be executed! Deal with it!)
Added for Cartouche. Caviar. A kilo.
Champagne. Just enough, and no more.
Main Course and Sides
Roast Duck. Whole.
Artichoke, Heavy on the Butter
A nice risotto, thank you very much.
A porcini Yorkshire Pudding? Yes! Yes!
Lots of this. Good stuff. Not the cheap crap.
Chocolate Molten Cake and Raspberries
Humboldt Fog cheese
Enough dessert wine to make sure I'm already passed out when I get strapped down for the Big Walk.
You Show Me Yours (Part Deux)
So...If you were planning your last meal, what would it look like?
(Jeanette D. provided this link to Texas's real "last meals" going back to 2003...a list which, the deeper you get into it, just gets sadder and sadder and, as she points out, illustrates perfectly the class issues involved in the death penalty. It was a request for a last meal of whipped cream and cherries that really got to me.)