Craigslist.
Never have so many typed so badly and used spellcheck so infrequently.
Honestly, cats and kittens: There's so much wrong with the "For Sale" ads (let's not even talk about "For Rent" right now), it's a bloody miracle buyers or sellers ever actually manage to find each other at all.
Now, y'all know I'm a spelling and grammar wonk, so yeah--I wince when I see things like this ad:
This poor poster. S/he is looking for a buyer with nearly $2K to burn, but doesn't realize that said buyer will probably be searching for a LENS, not a "lense"? Damn. Good luck with that.
Also, I wish several other folks the very best of luck getting rid of:
- The dinning table
- The Frig (w door Icemaker water despenser!)
- The 35 mm Connon EOS
- Vinal windows
- Nurtisystem deserts
- The used matress
- The dreser
- The glass tabel & four chairs
- The perfect loui vitton suit case!
- Various other kinds of funiture, furnature, furnuture
- That '95 Toyato (you say Toyato, I say Toyahto...)
- A plastation and a playsation
I could go on and on. I just pulled those from crap posted in the last five minutes, my preciouses. (Ow, my head hurts.)
Thank heavens, though, some patient, tolerant geniuses have figured out how to make a web tool that turns my headache into your bargains!
Typo Buddy
- Translates standard English into cretinous eBay- or Craigslist-ese
- Ensures all variations of semi-literate gobbledygook are explored when you're searching for that hard-to-find item
- Serves a secondary function as a source of dark amusement
- May cause nausea, vomiting, and loss of faith in the future of the human race (or at least its education system)
- Should not be used by loosers and morans!
So, bargain hunters, have fun with it.
Me, I'm off to investigate a Calvin Klien swede jacket...
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ripple baruch
pokey squirrel
smalltownwriter
jane smithie redux
The New Number Two
Kevin Broccoli
Salon.com
Comments
It's so sad about Farrah Faucet.
Great post (pet peeve of mine, too) and rated!
* Bridle Gown Size 10
* Electric scotter for sale
* BBQ GASS GRILL
Thanks for letting me play!
I alternate between being amused and being irritated by careless and clueless spelling.
[Off topic: VR, I read Scoubidou's post about leaving OS. I wanted to thank you for introducing him to me.]
Snerking about misspelling imbecile (because I've done things like that too many times to count).
Sniffling about Scoubi.
(Also generic - take a Midrin)
Luv ewe - E
--rated--
I once saw a sign in a Subway that read, "Help Wanted. No student's."
I was tempted to ask them, "Why not? Do the make fun of your punctuation?"
it's spreading.
~~~~~~~~~~
Have you "Eats, Shoots and Leaves" by Lynne Truss? Absolutely hilarious.
BINGO!
$9.
It's worth THOUSANDS.
(thumbified because I am certain I probably spelled something wrong in this comment.)
“Typo Buddy.” Ridiculously witty and spot on. I smiled broadly at your sign-off line: “Me, I'm off to investigate a Calvin Klien swede jacket”
Calvin Klein makes special jackets for Swedes?!!!
I’ve often wondered, while reading personal ads of all kinds, whether all word processors come actually with spell check. I’ve also wondered why - if they do - they are not used.
But I swear to god every time I’ve started to write a piece to address this pet peeve of mine I’ve found so many typos of my own (correct spelling perhaps but wrong word ie: “to” vs. “too”) while proofreading that I’ve feared looking like a “moran” (moron) if I posted it.
Rated and thoroughly appreciated.
psst...Tom... I think this post is jinxed!
Today I was reading "The Last Oracle" and a passage was supposed to say "...she felt the tears coming..." but instead it said, "...she felt the teats coming..." Oye!
When I was in grad school, the company that rented those little refrigerators used to run ads in the school paper, advertising monthly frig rentals. I often considered calling them up; I was very lonely in grad school. Also, to this day, we call the fridge the frig in our house.
"egg tempera is made with YOKES.)"
...did you mean "tempera" or "tempura"? The paint or the Japanese cooking batter?
Oh hell, all of it. This is why I avoid Craigslist.
LOVE
I'm off to meet Jon Henner and Incandescent at the Yard House, enjoy your church night.
RATED I do make typos, but I don't mysspail!
not only is it fun to read the ads, but wait until you sell something and get email questions. I had a hard time selling stuff to people who couldn't spell. but I did.
:) Lolly
If you can't even SPELL the name of your breed and you think that an altered bitch has been "spaded", I don't consider you bright enough for animal husbandry. My husband thinks that makes me a snob but definitely NOT a looser.
one of my pet peeves too. just can't respect the bad speller.
i had a boss that consistently spelled "tomorrow" "tomarrow". Used to drive me nuts. At least she was consistent!
This sort of thing drives me crazy on CL, too. And, um, on OS, too. (Since we have built-in spell check here, how is it so many people still misspell so many words??)
Too funny. (Hope you didn't get too bad a headake from my glob entry.)
2 WEED WACKERS
Handyman/Honey Due list- get it done!
Jugging stroller ---is this a brest-feeding thing?
And my favorite, not really spelling but more grammar:
"in box Gerry Tall Wire Mesh baby or pet dog Gate"
I shudder to think what a Tall Wire Mesh baby looks like.
Ratted!
Great post, though Verbal and I liked the graffiti.
Actually, I prefer singular women anyway.lol
I get many many calls during which the caller will say,
"My frigidaire quit working."
Or, "My Kenmore went out."
I ask them, "Your frigidaire WHAT?"
After their further confusion, I walk them through the fact that "Frigidaire" is a brand name of appliances and, only THEN do we get to the actual appliance which typically turns out to be a refrigerator of undetermined brand.
As far as the statement, "My Kenmore went out", I ask, "Your Kenmore WHAT?"
"Oh, the dryer."
I enjoy replying, "Ok, your dryer went out? Did it go out on a date with the washer?"
It is not just stupidity/ignorance in print which may be so entertaining.
It is also the way in which people speak.lol
I just now had to answer the phone as, someone called about their microwave.
The guy asked, "Do you repair appliances?"
OK, he looked in the phonebook for an appliance repair business, correct?
WTF??!!
Well, after he asked if I repair appliances, I replied, "Just broken ones."
Ahh, life is funny when you can laugh at the fools and not be one.lol
Keeping this short so as not to tempt the gods.
in tables or inn tables (not just a typo, but they truly don't understand the concept of "end tables")
tv "amore"
elagant cheery bedroom suit
"definAtely"
Oh, and Walter, tempera paint, not tempura shrimp.
Join us in worship Sunday. He is in our mist.
Rated.
With that said:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Naruki%27s_Law
Also see #474 and (thankfully) #474:
http://www.flayme.com/flame/04-psychology.shtml#Spelling
Just sayin'.
http://www.yousuckatcraigslist.com/
Enjoy, enjoy.
lense
noun
a transparent optical device used to converge or diverge transmitted light and to form images [syn: lens]
Guy, I dunno what dictionary you're lookin' in, but mine does NOT (emphatically) include "lense" as an alternative to "lens." Nor does Merriam-Webster online.
Besides. How hard is it to READ THE BLOODY BOX THE THING CAME IN? (Yes, I've seen multiple "lense" sales with photos of the original box next to the item, and the box, having been printed in a country where English is not even the primary language, clearly reads "lens.")
Ah, but I rant on, and here it is, a glorious Sunday...
Time to go make some bacin and eggs and tosat.
What bothers me much more than the typos and carelessness are the pretentions of spelling and grammar snobs who understand their own language far less than they think they do. Example #1: a colleague who was deeply annoyed by my having written to say that I appreciated his having "spelt out his expectations for his students on his syllabus." Overreaction and overcorrection (especially since it was intended as a compliment!), though I will admit that I generally prefer "spelled" myself since "spelt" invariably reminds me of the grain. Ex. #2: while I'm on the topic of syllabuses, the notion that the correct plural in English must be syllabi is one of my favorite examples of snobbish overcorrection (and I invite anyone who would insist that I'm wrong about this to provide an historically accurate Latin noun declension chart for the term... just make sure you're certain that you're right about which declension it's in before you start!). #3: and finally, while I'm on the subject of overcorrections in the pluralization of supposed Latin cognates, I'm completely mystified by people who say it shouldn't be octopuses but octopi (wrong on two counts... the word octopus is Latinized Greek, so, if anything it should be octopodes, but both octopi and octopodes are ridiculous--the first because it's simply wrong, the second because it's overly pedantic... which is exactly what I become when pretentious but otherwise intelligent people try to correct me on words like "spelt," "syllabuses," and "octopuses").
I am sofa king wee Todd Daye.
I am sofa king wee Todd Daye.
And from the garden:
- "I digged up some plants, frist come frist serve."
- "For sale: Perinial Plants."
Yes, the blooming episiotomy is so lovely this time of year….
* "almost every fiction novel" as opposed to the fiction reference or the nonfiction novel? And don't give the pretentious example of In Cold Blood.
* "Verbal--My greatest and most consistent goof is misuse of apostrophes. And I'm anal about spelling." This made me think of Anal Remedy as a blogger's name.
I have sent PMs to several people here with the subject line "A message from your copy editor." It has been received well. However, when speaking with people, I often can't help myself from correcting them. This frequently annoys people, until they hear me correct myself.
A couple weeks later, I'm getting caught up on grading, and I find the quizzes, and on the first question, someone has answered "Varginade."
I wonder if that's like Gatorade.
This was in an EP a couple days ago. I hated the post and think the writer looks like a guy who would make his wife sanitize herself before he touched her. But I LOVED that sentence. I made a noise like Lily Tomlin, the phone lady. What WAS her name? Damn.