Verbal Remedy AKA Denise

Verbal Remedy AKA Denise
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Del Mar, California, The One That's In A State Of Steep Decline
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January 18
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Columnist, http://www.doesthismakesense.com
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Much preferred to the alternative.
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Born. Grew up. Kept growing up. Started growing older. Still at both the growing up and growing older. Stay tuned.

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AUGUST 3, 2009 4:13PM

Uh-oh. Stock Up on Loofahs While You Still Can...

Rate: 51 Flag

I hate to be the one to break it to you, but I fear we may soon see the end of free, unfettered access to lovely, scrubby exfoliation tools.

exfoliating-products 

Image: http://www.sheknows.com/

Farewell, body puffs! Adieu, callous scrapers! Goodbye, washcloths! Au revoir, salty oily rubbing things! I'll miss you all terribly.

That's it. No more vigorous, refreshing sessions in the shower sloughing off dead skin.

All because some DAMNED scientists just went and grew entire whole new mice out of mouse skin cells. Go ahead, read it for yourself. I'll wait.

mouse 

Image: AP

Oh, sure, you'll find stuff in that article about the positive side of skin-mice: growing new organs to replace failing ones, for example. Gene therapy. Curing diseases, blah blah blah, whatever whatever whatever.

That's all well and good. But I just know that "birthright" nuts (like the asshole who shot Dr. Tiller to death as he sat in church, thereby effectively ending access to safe abortion in Kansas) are going to be all concerned about this new development.  

Because now it's not just a fertilized egg that's a potential human life. No, that simple time has ended.

From now on, thanks to the unholy meddling of some scientists, every goddamned skin cell on your ENTIRE BODY is a potential human being. Every last one. Your vacuum contains millions of you. Your hairbrush. Your toothbrush.

That's it. Game over.

If the pro-birthers (different than birthers, although there's probably a lot of overlap on one of those Gannt chart thingies) are serious about "protecting the most vulnerable among us," they're going to have to start straining the bathwater and setting up climate-controlled warehouses to keep the resulting gunk safe from heartless, marauding murderers. 

Oh, lord. I can already see the protests outside of my favorite mani/pedi place. "Save the nail clippings! Death to the foot-sanders!"

That sort of thing.

Just watch.

You heard it here first.

 

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And there will have to be storage facilities for all that saved gunk, like at Yucca Mountain. Or is sloughed skin gunk compostable?

Great. Rated. Thanks.
Funny - but scarily true. rated!
We are so screwed. I need a drink. Then I'm going to exfoliate like hell.
I think I just committed selficide with a seriously wonderful exfoliation. Damn.
Of course the anti genetics group will probably demand they get rid of all skin in the world.
It's crossed my mind that I've been leaving forensic evidence wherever I go--now I have to worry about this, too!
(Femme Forte, I was revising and extending my remarks just as you posted about Yucca Mountain. Heh. Yeah, SERIOUSLY Yuck-A!)
If you haven't already seen the movie, "Gattaca," you must.
But the world could use more Verbal Remedys!

As for myself, I should go into the haz-mat files.
So are nailbiters cannibals in fact or in potentio?
And the manufacturer's of dandruff shampoo go on Randall Terry's hit parade?
Rated.
back to showering in saran wrap.
Saw Gattaca, Silkstone, and recall liking it a whole lot, but also remember it totally fell apart for me in the final 10-15 minutes. Don't remember why. Just remember the disappointment of being denied another classic "go-to" scifi film I'd be willing to watch over and over and over again, like 12 Monkeys or Blade Runner.

Hmm.

This development gives a whole new meaning to "skinjobs."
Next thing you know we'll all be exfoliating and scraping our dead skin indoors while hiding in the shower rather than loofahing (is that even a word?) and pumice stoning in the front yard with the garden hose like we are supposed to do. What's this world coming to? I give.
PS. That avatar is so you.
what will bill o'reilly do for sex toys when there are no more loofahs? use steel wool?
This is the first post I have seen on the importance of washing your mice carefully.
Thank you. Rated.
The black market for microdermabrasion will be brutal. Rated.
Hmmm, then are they going to be arresting bedbugs for murder?

According the guy on tv (You know LARRY) if your mattress is 8 years old it now weighs double what it did because of sweat and dead skin cells...seems like a ripe mining opportunity.

I think I am going to be sick now.
well, that poor scientist holding the cute lil' skin job mouse needs some skin cell/stem cell eyeballs grown for hisownself...no wonder he's working hard at it. It's hard to be a scientist and a zombie at the same time, so he gets props, man.
Scientists??? what the hell we they think of next.. Very interesting post..
Well you should shut down the Senate. Because serving in the Senate for a prolonged period of time causes cancer. Sens. Kennedy, Dodd, McCain, and Specter all have cancer or been diagnosed with it. Rated.
Laughing out loud at the convo in comments, folks. Except for Sheepy. I don't know what in the hell Sheepy is talking about.

Buffy, I'm racing past you to be sick. Beat you to the toilet. You have to use the sink.

Don't forget to save the emittance for future-you harvesting.
It is spooky though. I would be creeped out by the unrestricted duplication of humans. There were a slew of great 1970's Syfy books about the subject...The Boys from Brazil (cloning Hitler); Joshua, Son of None (about cloning JFK)...and movies, from "Blade Runner", to "The Island" to "The 6th Day" to "Anna to the Infinite Power"...a pretty captivating subject.

I remember an episode of the Sopranos, where Tony is in Italy, and the gorgeous mafia boss he is doing business with has her servants collect her toe and fingernails after a pedicure so they they cannot be used to give her the "evil eye" or curse her. Yeah...so how creepy is it that they can grow a whole mouse from skin? It sure brings up a lotta questions! (I am NOT a pro-birther BTW...just morbidly curious about cloning.)
OMG, you guys! I get treatments every month of or so with neo natal foreskin. I wrote a post about these bumps that are growing on my feet that look like tiny dicks! I jokingly said I wondered how long the rest of the baby would take to grow. Maybe it's not so funny for me to have babies flopping around on my feet and legs!! This is too funny! Beyond reality! Rated Verbal!!
No fucking way.

(Well, yeah, that's the point. :-)

That is fascinating (love the word "skindividuals"--nice and creepy). I wish I could add something intelligent, but your "Feh. Scientists." kinda said it all.
Oooh. Not good. I'm gonna set in a supply of exfoliators in the basement...get a gun. xox
yekdeli, did you just seriously use the word 'Syfy' to mean 'Sci-Fi'??? Seriously, either you're the one person on the planet who actually likes that name, or you're the one who invented it in the first place! Either way, you should be lynched!
IMO, of course. ;-)
Very very funny. Unfortunately there will be those... Maybe not. Great read.
rated
My 88 year old mother and I had a conversation yesterday that basically started like a million of our conversations do with me asking: "Mom why do people have to die?"

Usually she says, "to make room for the babies!" But this time her answer was different:

mom: "You don't want to live to be 125 do you?"
denese: "Ewww. Certainly not!"
mom" "Well that's the only other option, the only other way out!"

Maybe this regenerating of a "new you" through skin cells will come to pass before she is outta here? But, would it be a new her that is regenerated or an old her (of the same age) that is generated...?

denese
VR, agree about Gattaca falling apart at the end. It's all build up and then, huh? what's the point? My theory is the writer/director (same guy) had the whole DNA fascism idea and wanted to play with that but didn't come up with enough other story to support it.
Defining life is quite complicated at the microscopic level. (And by the way, I have a loofah in my shower this very minute).
Loofah. Why does that word make me giggle? Loofah. Hahahahaha! Why does it sound like it should be dirty?
Anyway, what? Skin cells used to clone? Actually, I'm game. They can clone me, as long as my clone goes to work.
Wait. Wasn't that a movie with Michael Keaton? I'm pretty sure hilarity ensued. So really, as long as hilarity ensues, what could go wrong? : )
Wait. I'm too busy stocking up on lightbulbs....
Do you mean to say, I can actually make MORE OF ME just by using my body's own castaways?

Huh.

*Begins contemplating the clone army*

Emperor Bill. Has a nice ring to it.
If every skin cell is sacred and you develop a sore, would it be possible to have the sore declared a superfund site and apply for a government grant?
Oh, Jebus. I peeled some dead skin off my big toe and tossed it out the car window in either Maryland or Delaware this weekend. I am in SO much trouble.
Should I not be throwing the hair from my hairbrush into the toilet? Uh oh.
PS In case you're doing any kind of survey on the effectiveness of your post titles, I came here b/c I thought you were going to rip on Bill O'Reilly. That's a fun evening for me.
You're a genius. When I first read the story about the cloned mouse my only thought was that that no cat need ever be bored again.

I failed to see the greater implications!

Earlier this evening I pumiced and sugar scrubbed the bottoms of my feet until they were baby soft.

I destroyed an entire future army made of Athenian Owl Coins!!!

I shudder at the horror.
I loved your tag about "skindividuals"! Yikes and feh both.
Hells bells, what's next? Will have to stock up on them and light bulbs too.
Trying to get the vision of the dead skin lying everywhere out of my brain before I eat my breakfast....
There's so much of me that if they cloned me, those people would be called leftovers.
Uh oh. I have mosquito bites. I'm clearly taking an express train to hell.

(rated while laughing)
I don't like the way that mouse is looking at me.
On behalf of scientists everywhere, I am seriously, seriously offended. Well ok, not really...
Ugh. Just ugh.

Did you see the Doctor Who were they made children out of the Brit's fat? Adipose babies. Lovely.
BTW, these scientists could make an army from the dead skin on my soles. They'd call them foot soldiers.

Tip your waitresses.
this makes it a whole new world. We can just be replaced by regrown versions of ourselves. Wouldn't it be nice if they found a way for us to have a set of replicants ready to be programmed and brought into the world when we were ill or maybe had too much opposition to political climate? Oh and for those of you thinking of starting a line of replacement organs, remember that once the medical folks have possession of your DNA, they own it and may do what they wish with it, with no obligation to pay you for any of it.
The first woman to be successfully cloned--from cancer cells. Recently released book that is probably one of the more interesting books out now. I tried to make a link.

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/02/03/books/03book.html
Holy Mary Mother of Toast!
Figures. I cotton to Loofahs just as they go out of style. Should have just stayed with my wing tips and Brooks Brothers suits.
If they can grow a new mouse from a skin cell they'll soon be able to do it from poop too. This means that all of our poop will one day be potential people too. Personally the thought of right to lifers straining dna from raw sewage is oddly satisfying. Just think too of the Head and Shoulders adverts, "Dandruff Control or Birth Control - you decide."