- A kitchen without a dishwasher is like a car without brakes.
- Everything looks better when you wash and dry on the Delicate cycle.
- The average American woman owns 28 lipsticks* and actually actually uses two.
- Dog's got bad breath? He's hoarding a body somewhere. (As I found out this morning as I stumbled across Dax gleefully flinging around a semi-decomposed rat corpse, so damned proud of himself.)
- Those who think the most...need to the least. Also? Vice versa.
- Therapy doesn't do much good when you're smarter than the shrink. Corollary: Most of the people I've ever known who could benefit from therapy are statistically unlikely ever to find a therapist smarter than they are.
- On the white-collar to blue-collar continuum, the amount you're paid frequently appears to be inversely proportional to the amount of actual work you do.
- Growing up rich appears to be a risk factor in Empathy Deficit Disorder.
- Small towns are bad places to be at either extreme of a bell curve. (Any bell curve.)
- It takes a relatively small dose of familiarity, all things considered, to turn fascination into disgust.
- Very few people are qualified to talk about quantum mechanics and chaos theory; literary critics are not among them.
- A film's overall merit and quality can be inversely plotted against the number of screams, grunts, and explosions therein.
- There are some kinds of stupid only death can fix.
*I just made that up, but a tiny part of me hopes to see it debunked on Snopes one day.
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"•Small towns are bad places to be at either extreme of a bell curve. (Any bell curve.)" And WE would both so well know...
-rated-
Mothership, my dear, it's half YOUR brain, you know.
Stim--interesting question to which I have no answer, although I could fake one if you like. I'll say 84%.
Yep, peppermint, the demon eats everyhing he can lay his teeth on.
Glad to hear it, 'touche.
JLee, clearly you've never seen the wreckage in my kitchen after a week without a dishwasher...
Glad to hear it, Gwool.
And my dad's dog once ate an entire redwood lounge chair. Took him a while, but he was a patient Lab.
"Rambly" is a very, very good word.
Too cynical? R.
I don't have a dishwasher and don't worry about it.
I giggled with every single line here Verbal.
Too funny!!
I agree with the observation about pay scales being inversely proportional to the amount of work done. I learned that one before I left high school.
(Thumbified - Goddess love 'ya...)
Fun list, though. I so enjoy reading short posts at work. It makes the day happier. ;)
Amen. Stupid people shouldn't breath!!!
:)
Rated, cause I own 33 lipsticks and use them all! Teeheehee!! ;)
"Therapy doesn't do much good when you're smarter than the shrink. Corollary: Most of the people I've ever known who could benefit from therapy are statistically unlikely ever to find a therapist smarter than they are."
THIS:
"Very few people are qualified to talk about quantum mechanics and chaos theory; literary critics are not among them."
You had me thinking about 96% of this. Really thinking, or dwelling in the funny of it, or both.
As a former therapy junkie, recovered, I can attest and men. The best you can hope for is clean hands and a good heart. Or at least clean gloves. The heart's indispensable.
Most are dopes, half are charlatans. And Analysts? woo-see the shit they believe is true. Mad as hares in a rough sack.
And not one single sub-particle of connect exists between new age Gaia-addled "energy" thinking and quantum physics. Not a bit. I mean bring up the scale/interface problem alone -- between planck and newtonian distances, how micro energies might even possibky affect macro distances -- and they start to coo some condescending failure of enlightenment hooey. They steal poorly from cliff's notes and think they figured the ALL out.
It involves some really cool spiritual teacher, inevitably.
Sorry. I live near Woodstock, NY.
Very few of us actually pull off something like this. You, verbal, are nonpariel.
And boy do I agree on the shrink. Mine from the '80s became a stand-up comedian (really).
SO clever.
p.s. Bonne Bell Lip Smackers rock.
That one makes me squirm with recognition. Ew... that just sounded gross. Rated for squirm and laugh inducing qualities.
RATED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I've never used the delicate cycle.
I am also a little shy on lipstick (if I only own a couple does that mean that to average out to be 28 per person- some other women has to own about twice as much? ha ha)
I did understand the dishwasher/car analogy.
Everything else was simply funny, or brilliant! Thanks!@
Great post..
Regarding the dishwasher, if my cats don't count, I'm in trouble!
I like the line about thinking, and the familiarity/disgust comment. Familiarity can definitely breed contempt. Sometimes, it's helpful to maintain a polite distance between ourselves and what we admire. The coarse grain is less evident.
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rated
"•Small towns are bad places to be at either extreme of a bell curve. (Any bell curve.)" I don't know if I agree or disagree with this. Elaborate please (if you choose).
•A film's overall merit and quality can be inversely plotted against the number of screams, grunts, and explosions therein." So true.
Not very bleeding heart liberalish but, being married to a dog breeder, I have learned that certain distempered folks should be put down.
So, since I haven't yet used the dishwasher in my condo after living here 11 months, am I like our college friend who liked to drive across Kv at night without ever touching his brakes?
He's hoarding a body somewhere. (As I found out this morning as I stumbled across Dax gleefully flinging around a semi-decomposed rat corpse, so damned proud of himself.)
Isn't is nice when we come to realize how much we have in common with other animals?
This may strike you as funny: your bit about quantum mechanics and literary critics was running through my head yesterday, after I'd made a quick dash through OS in the morning, and yet I couldn't remember where I'd read/heard it. Is that a good sign? For you, probably; for me, less so. :-)
"Therapy doesn't do much good when you're smarter than the shrink. Corollary: Most of the people I've ever known who could benefit from therapy are statistically unlikely ever to find a therapist smarter than they are."
I've been there so many times. :)
I don't have 28 lipsticks - more like 15 - but I only use two.
Bravo. rated
I needed this today. Any day, really. Ab fab.