I was watching True Blood the other day, and I don't know. I just can't seem to commit to this whole vampire-werewolf thing. I've seen a couple of the Twilight movies and they're okay, I guess. I saw the first one with my daughter, and what was far more entertaining than the movie, were the screaming, swooning teenagers. The second movie spawned the same type of reaction, only there were more shout outs like, Team Edward! and Team Jacob! During a quiet moment, I had an alomost uncontollable urge to shout, Team Charlie! (Charlie is Bella's dad, a real flesh and blood guy, played by the still smoldering Billy Burke.) I managed to refrain, though, as I didn't want to embarrass my kid in front of her friends.

So, what is so intriguing about vampires? Is it our feminine desire to comfort a tormented soul? Do vampires arouse our deep seeded fantasy of being dominated and bitten? Is it the elegant promise of eternal youth? Whatever. I just can't seem to suspend my disbelief long enough to buy into it. It's like my brain won't allow it. Instead, I find myself questioning everything.

Like, when Bella grazes Edward's cold flesh for the first time, she immediately retracts her hand. But later on, she's lying in bed with him. Really? I mean, it's bad enough when your boyfriend crawls into bed with cold feet, can you imagine having Edward's icy cadaver cuddled up beside you? I suppose it could have its benefits against the relentless heat of summer, but still. And another thing. If Edward is dead, how can he possibly impregnate Bella in the fourth Twilight installment? He's dead. So, doesn't that mean his sperm's dead, too? Furthermore, Edward lacks a functioning heart, which is crucial for pumping blood to the rest of the body. Without a heart, how can Edward even get it up?

I'm just saying.

And werewolves. Do I really want to date a guy who goes AWOL every full moon? Do I really want to bed down with someone who smells like wet dog, or who could turn rabid on me at a moment's notice?

Well... if he looks anything like Joe Manganiello, who plays Alcide in True Blood, I might just be able to suspend my disbelief after all.