Will electing a black man to the highest office in the land somehow atone for the sins of a nation? Will having President Barack Obama in the White House make up for 246 years of slavery?

Maybe not, but it certainly should be a nice start. It would be helpful if people would at least see it as such, for then the two sides might move toward the middle. Blacks might not be as angry at whites; whites might not be as fearful of blacks.

What is it about Barack Obama, the man, that inspired a nation to elect the first African-American to the presidency? Surely it wasn’t just the culmination of a bad economy, a bad war, and an unpopular sitting president?

I don’t think so. The historical, epic even, November 4 moment when President-elect Obama stood on a stage and spoke to the American people, provides a clue. Not only is he charismatic, he’s humble.

But it’s more than that. Since I don’t watch much television, I nearly missed it. But being home sick, I happened to catch a newscast about the death of Obama’s grandmother, Madelyn Dunham. The pictures of a young black Obama shown surrounded by loving white maternal grandparents, provide what I believe is the bigger clue to his success: Obama received unconditional love from his family.

How does that happen? How does a black child growing up in the sixties and seventies come to have that unconditional love and acceptance from his white kinfolk? If scientists could find the answer, produce it in tablet form and put it on the open market, we might not have the high rates of child abuse, juvenile delinquency, and crime that currently exist.

Most parents would give their right arm to have a child who would become President of the United States of America. But most parents won’t do what it takes to see that their child is filled with the capacity to reach such levels of greatness. We might think we will, but we don’t.

Really, when it comes right down to it, we don’t.

Sometimes, when we think we’re helping them, by way of “constructive criticism,” we’re simply being critical of our children. Other times, when we let them dictate what they will do, rather than set limits for them, we are not teaching them healthy rules and boundaries. (Did you know experts now say today’s parents are afraid to parent their children? Yep, that’s from a press packet, compliments of Liz Claiborne, Inc., about teen dating and sex. “The authority figures in the home are no longer parents, but children ages 5-18,” Dr. Jill Murray said.)

Most of the time, we fail to teach our children, because we’re too embarrassed, afraid or clueless about what we think they know. Only then, we really are teaching them—that they can learn on their own, without our help. (“Despite the finding that slightly more than a quarter of parents think kids are having oral sex, only seven-percent of parents think their own child has gone further than kissing and making out …” Dr. Mary Muscari said.)

Then there are those times when we don’t realize we’re teaching them: We make racist remarks, we call other drivers names, we belittle or use sarcasm toward our loved ones, we run red lights or ignore stop signs, we don’t say “please,” “thank you,” or the dozens of other little thoughtful remarks that indicate good manners, and we ask our children to tell the bill collector or the telemarketer we—the parents—aren’t home, or can’t come to the door, when really we are and we can.

I don’t know how Obama’s family treated other mixed race children, or what they said about interracial couples; I don’t know what his white relatives said about his black ones or vice versa, but I do know this: Media photos show Obama was loved unconditionally, without regard for his race, his intelligence, his bloodline or his abilities or lack thereof—and that’s why he’s shown himself to be grace under fire, an involved and attentive father and devoted husband, and able to do what he’s done thus far.

As parents, we could do no better than learn from those photos, and begin today to treat our own children and grandchildren the same way. To give them the same equal opportunity that Obama was given—to reach their own potential and achieve their own levels of greatness.