voicegal

voicegal
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July 05
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teacher, writer, singer, actor, with a passion for gardening, traveling, and urban wildlife sightings. banner photos © 2009 by voicegal

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FEBRUARY 11, 2010 5:55PM

Dances with Bullies

Rate: 28 Flag

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 When I was ten years old I was 4'10, twenty pounds overweight, and if it weren't for Zelda Garfield (the most despised girl in our fifth grade class), I would have been the least popular girl in school.  A new boy had transferred into our fifth grade class at Burtsfield Elementary.  His name was Jack Stuart.  Upon entrance to the fifth grade, Jack Stuart made it his personal mission to make my life miserable.

Jack Stuart was an enterprising young man.  He created and presided over "The Frog Club," a boy's club whose charter included only two goals:  first, to make the lives of all girls miserable, and second, since most of our teachers were "girls;" to be as difficult in their classrooms as possible.  The Frog Club theme song was "Joy to the World."  "JEREMIAH WAS A BULLFROG--” loudly sung.  The principal of Burtsfield School later told Jack Stuart that the Frog Club was the worst thing to hit Burtsfield Elementary.  Ever.  It certainly was the worst thing to hit me.

Being the second most despised girl in the fifth-grade class, it was Jack Stuart’s personal delight to torture me in small ways-- the kind of thing that the teachers never noticed.  Or if they did, they never said anything.  Never, in all my days of being a persecuted kid, did an adult ever come to my aid.  I'm not sure why things work that way.  I battled all of Jack Stuart’s unwanted attention with the only tool I knew of:  a stony silence.

Jack Stuart would sit behind me and whisper insults under his breath.  He'd follow me around the playground yelling taunts.  He led the other boys in the fifth grade to follow his example.  He made sure to sit behind me in every class in order to continue his reign of terror.  One day he spread blood-red ink all over the back of my chair, then asked me to turn around.  The teacher didn't seem to notice that my dress was suddenly covered with a dark red smear; my inner torment made visible, like an open wound.

I would come home from school in tears and my mother would ask me what was wrong.  I'd cautiously tell her of the daily torment.  She'd answer that the boys did these things "because they liked me."  I couldn't convince her otherwise.  She had been a cheerleader, been voted "prettiest legs in the high school."  She had gone to the same prom with two different boys.  She came equipped with all the proper etiquette for selecting, receiving, and allowing a man to light her cigarette.   The idea that her daughter could be unpopular was unthinkable.  The truth that her daughter was talented and intelligent was unimportant in comparison.

In the seventh grade, all the popular kids started "going together."  I was no longer the second most unpopular girl in school, but I wasn't the kind of girl that boys would cross the gym floor to dance "Nights in White Satin" with.  Jack Stuart started going steady with a girl, who became instantly popular due to Jack's attention.  A few months later, the hottest gossip in the seventh grade was that Jack Stuart had "gotten her pregnant."  She left junior high, had an abortion, and returned, her popularity lost.  She was one of "those girls," now, and the most despised girl in the school.  She knew it and was angry as hell, and in retaliation, told groups of hushed thirteen-year-old girls about the specifics of her abortion.  Her voice filled with the wonder and the fear of it.  We were terrified of her-- couldn't believe what we were hearing.  We knew it was true, but somehow our inexperience kept the truth from becoming real to us.  We shunned her.  Eventually she dropped out of school.  I never heard what happened to her.  Jack Stuart became known as the first boy in our class proven to have actually "done it" and his reputation soared.  In high school he excelled at track, student government, and academics, and after graduation he was admitted into a prestigious university.

By that time I had found a niche of people with whom to socialize, and I was no longer remembered as the second most unpopular girl in the school.  But deep down I remembered-- it lived in my personality like a ghostly twin, constantly reminding me of who I once was, who I could be discovered to be at any moment if I wasn't eternally diligent.

One Friday night in the autumn of my senior year, I went to a high school dance. I arrived at the dance feeling expectant and unusually fetching in a dress I had made myself.  Like a vision from my adolescent dreams, someone finally chose me, crossed the crowded dance floor to be with me.  In one of those cosmic moments that life hands you only once in a great while, I was thunderstruck to be asked to dance by one of the most popular boys in the school.  It was Jack Stuart.  At age eighteen, he was a good looking:  tall, muscled from his years running track; he had a quick mind with a flashing brown-eyed reply.  As we began to dance, I had a vision of myself, once the second most despised girl at Burtsfield Elementary, now dancing with one of the most popular boys in school.  I wondered who was watching.  I felt my status rise, like the heat between our bodies, in direct proportion to the number of eyes that saw us together.  For one brief moment I inhaled the pungent scent of having the past erased in the blink of an eye, in the act of being chosen. 

I was struck by the irony that my ticket to forgetfulness was in the embrace of my tormentor.  I turned to him.  "Do you remember how you used to torture me when we were in grade school?" I smiled beguilingly.  He thought a moment, considering the question.  His eyes squinted in concentration as his gaze drifted past me to somewhere deep in his memory.  After a moment he shifted, and his eyes found mine.  He gave me his most charming, boyish grin.  "No," he replied. 

We were still dancing, circling one another.  A slow dance, to something like "How deep is your Love?" from Saturday Night Fever, my arms reaching up to drape across his chest and my hands clasped tightly behind his neck. 

Then my long forgotten girl-self rose up.  I couldn't stop my voice as it plummeted out of my throat.  "Well, I will never forget.” I walked off the dance floor, left him standing alone, aware of the eyes watching me, aware of the choice I had made.

I have no idea what happened to Jack Stuart, and can only hope that karma is a bitch.  Sometimes I wonder what his childhood was like, to make him such a monster.  If the best revenge is a life lived well, I’ve certainly had my fill of that.  Served red hot and filled with flavor, thank you very much.

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YES! Yes. Absolutely YES! If more girls and women were smart enough to handle men the way you handled Jack Stuart..... Beautifully written and proud to be "First"!
Ah, sweet revenge. Except you did it with great class and gusto! May Jack never forget the humiliation of rejection. It was indeed his turn.
Rated
Wow! And oh, oh, the painful double standard of the pregnant girl dropping out of school and he to go on to a prestigious college. Some things never change.
Perfect. I enjoyed your writing, the phrases about your mother and the dead on description of school torment. I especially enjoyed your revenge. Perfect. r
I loved reading this, VG. I hope Jack became the kind of person that regrets the hurt he caused you.
great story, great finish, when Jack asked you to dance you had me wondering "will she or won't she" right up to the end
cartouche, life only gives us these moments once in a very great while.

rainee, I suspect, like his childhood bullying, he forgot it and went on being his handsome, privileged self.

Deborah, it was incredibly unfair, and I doubt any adult came to her aid.

rita, the childhood stuff is burned in my memory.

natalie, we can only hope.

Roy, I'm glad the ending was a surprise!
Poor Jack. He had low self esteem and the only way he could handle his life was to ridicule others. You probably weren't the only one to put him in his place.
Voicegal I have always held you in the highest regard. This only validated my feelings. Bravo Bravo Bravo.

I would have ask for an encore if I were there. Rated.
dyno, he may have had low self-esteem, but he was amazingly popular and successful regardless.

OES, the admiration is mutual!
So glad you resisted "the allure of being chosen" and gave the bully that personifies all bullies exactly what he deserved. Loved this.
A big hell yea! And a slap on the back for a job well done...
YES! I am so proud of you! Great story, well told, and the ending rocked!
luluand phoebe, it might be different now. Back then it was "boys will be boys" and "let the kids sort it out themselves."

Eden, it was a great moment of my young life.

lunchlady, thank you.

sweetfeet, I'm glad you enjoyed it!
Oh my, this is a masterpiece VG (thank goodness for spell check in comments.. I almost wrote MATERPIECE).
I was surprised that you accepted the dance to begin with, even though I also understood totally.
Great decision to walk off, implications be what they may. Loved this story. So well articulated:))) Karma works well, I do believe.
Yay! Thank you for telling this story. And thank you for walking away!
I have mixed feelings. I felt sorry for you in the beginning, and I felt sorry for Jack in the end. People do change. Good story suspense quality. Hell, I thought it would end with you marrying Jack.

In any case, I enjoyed the post. I love reminiscences.

From the fourth grade on, I have defended my friends and, sometimes, strangers from bullies. I made them all back down -- because at heart they are essentially cowards. OR maybe dynomyte
is right.
That was awesome! Hell yeah! But I would never have had the guts. Not in a million years. I'm enjoying your revenge vicariously. r
A perfect act of justice; good for you.
Kisses,
Marcela
trig, I think karma does exist. As you wrote in your recent blog, we get what we give out. (congrats on the deck!)

geezerchick, I can't really believe I did that at age 17. But I did.

dlvstudent, yes, people can change. But I sensed his "forgetting" of his behavior was disengenuous.

Densie, there were a lot of show downs I didn't have the guts to accomplish. This was an exception.

Marcela, I'm so glad you stopped by.
Ah, a dish best eaten cold! You are too cool!
Well done, and well done! On so many levels, it's just right, including that very honest moment of "the pungent scent of having the past erased in the blink of an eye, in the act of being chosen." Held the suspense all the way through, and damn . . . I could just feel the atmosphere at the dance.
xenon, thank you!

owl, "the act of being chosen." a drug, indeed.
Excellent post, very well written, very well played! In that moment on the dance floor you demonstrated more class than all the prettiest legs in the world.

What happened to Mr Stuart? Well, I'll tell you. He graduated from prep school, went to an Ivy League tower, cheated his way through law school, married "well" but never loved, had 2.5 children with his trophy wife and untold children by the other women he exploited, became a full partner in his law firm at age 33, a district judge at age 39, and was investigated on ethics charges at 42. Today one can find him on any given day down at the city park between 6 and 8 pm reading yesterday's newspaper and and wearing a thin coat with two holes in the right elbow. He sleeps alone on a sheetless mattress in a flop house over by the tracks and drinks Wild Turkey and chain smokes cheap full flavored cigarettes. He received an invitation a few months ago to attend your high school reunion. He threw the invitation away.

And now you know! Glad I could help solve the mystery! Karma DO have a nasty temper, DON'T she!?!
Kit, ethics charges. I like that.

oh, and by reading Lunchlady2's post, I just realized that the song I had always thought was "Knights in White Satin" is really "NIGHTS in White Satin." Just shows you my naive 12-year mind. And what about all those violins on television?
You mean, it's NOT KNIGHT'S???? Oh, man, am I embarrassed! I always thought it was about a medieval guy who had an alloy allergy.
Let' see where to begin...isn't it a weird thing that our perceptions of who we are can be defined during such a short irrelvant period of our lives? By other people who have absolutley no life experience and are clueless as hell? I mean, who really cares about high school or middle school for that matter once you are done with them? But the bad stuff can linger on for decades.
And I think it was a very different era then...parents and teachers didn't get involved in what happens between kids. I suppose if someone had whacked you on the head with a 2X4 someone might have paid attention, but my memory of growing up then was that kids just weren't considered as full real people who could be affected by peers or decisions that were made that ultimately might affect them.
As for Jack Stuart, somehow I doubt he ended up homeless and under a bridge, but if he didn't change, he probably has ended up with a pretty empty life ...which he may or may not recognize.. all he may know is that things didn't work out the way he planned. Karma is funny that way-it denies you what you really want until you cross that bridge of self realization and change.
I so relate to this. I was popular in elementary school but the boys all loved someone named Jill. When my mom argued with her mom the boys in 5th grade went on strike against me. I could not tell my mother but I still remember running to the bathroom and sobbing. After a year it passed. I have not thought about this until you wrote the above. great ending. rated.
Bullies, you NEVER forget. This was a great posting bringing back some of my memories that I'll probably never write about. Job well done! faved and rated