Let’s recap. Iran had elections to choose a president. All the pre-election polls said that Ahmadinejad was ahead and expected to win. So what happened? Who snatched the majority of the people’s votes away from Ahmadinejad? Who rigged the elections so that Ahmadinejad didn’t win? What filthy, black, cabal illegally rammed Mousavi down the Iranian people’s throats?

No wonder the Iranian people are wearing the puce & cerise polka-dotted headbands, wristbands, etc. of Ahmadinejad supporters, and gathering by the kazillions to protest the election thievery by Mr Mousavi. Rightly so! We must stand with our Iranian brothers and sisters in their fight for truth, justice and the Amer…, uhh, Iranian way. Viva la revolucion!

What? You’re kidding. Green headbands? But, but, but…McCain supporters didn’t wear American flag headbands, swamp Twitter with, “We wuz robbed!” tweets, and take to the streets when Obama was elected. Yeah, okay, the birth certificate red herring thing, but that’s not the same as taking to the streets, now is it? What’s with those Iranian Mousavi supporters?

Who says it’s a combined US-Israel-Britan psy-op intended to destabilize Iran? That’s a freakin’ conspiracy theory! When have the US, Israel and Britain ever, ever, ever wanted to take down a duly elected government of Iran? Huh? When?

Nineteen fifty what? Who the hell can remember back that far? That’s ancient history, and you can’t base what’s happening today on old stuff like that. Oh, who cares what the Bush administration wanted? Obama’s our president now; he’s changed all that old stuff. What do you mean the US government isn’t “recognizing” the Iranian elections? How can they not? It was an election just like we have here in America!

Okay, now you’re swimming in the cesspool of conspiracy theories again. Just stop it.

Look, the bottom line is that we have to wipe terrorism off the face of the earth. What? Well, we, us, America and its allies, that’s who. Look at all the good we’ve done in Iraq and Afghanistan, and all the good we’re doing in Pakistan. If we need to clean up Iran, well, then we need to clean it up!

I can’t believe all you people who see a conspiracy under the rug every time America-Israel-Britain tries to make the world a safer place. You’re all crazy, you know. You should try watching CNN or Fox, get some real news. Cut out all the paranoid conspiracy theories. They just make you sound crazy.

Okay, so I got confused for a minute. So what? That doesn’t mean that the underlying principle isn’t true, does it? We have to stop terrorism! Mousavi, Ahmadinejad, Joe Blow, it doesn’t matter who stole the election. Get a clue!