I was originally planning to publish today a thoughtful, reasoned, screed about bulldozing American cities. But, wouldn’t you know it, those wacky kids who work for TSA are up to their usual shenanigans. Bless their little hearts. I just had to stop everything and take official note of American airport security in action.
Today’s (Emergency) Shallow Twits Award goes to the Bakersfield, California airport TSA. It seems that someone, described as a “farmer”, had some mystery amber liquid in four Gatorade bottles, in his suitcase.
As Shallow Fate would have it, when the TSA agents opened the bottles they were overcome by “a strong chemical odor”, which caused them to experience such nausea that they had to be rushed to a local hospital.
Thank God we have agents like these protecting us from terrorists. Who knows what evil terrorist scheme was averted. Who knows what god-awful substance was in those four Gatorade bottles.
Well, after the airport was shut down and sheriff’s deputies, fire crews, FBI agents, and a joint terrorism task force finished many hours of questioning the terrorist/gardener Francisco Ramirez, lab reports showed that the Gatorade bottles contained honey. Although, the amber liquid had originally “tested positive for explosives.”
Bakersfield TSA, you’re the recipients of today’s Shallow Twits Award. Congratulations and I hope your job related injuries don’t keep you in the hospital too long.
Reuters story here.
NaturalNews story here.
Picture from NaturalNews Story:
Lunchlady 2
Robert Brenner
Elegantchaos
fireeyes24
Lynn Lyra
Safe_Bet's Amy
Salon.com
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