so here I am with my little blog & corner of cyberspace, writing on diverse and sometimes random/unrelated topics .... and so far, I havent even said anything about the g-spot.

I collect links for this blog & just recently accrued enough for this post. yeah Im a little late, it would have been perfect to post this right before valentines day, but I got kinda tied up last wknd at a wild dance bar near denver called the radisson graystone castle.

its an old club/conference center that dates way back. I can remember hearing endless, recurring breathless commercials for it when I was a teenager for "free ladies night". announced with the same blaring gusto by the announcer that you hear for car dealers.

great latin band there. actually, 3 of them. we had two beer buckets and the significant other did tequila shots.. and managed to get up on stage twice to dance with the singer. this while a bunch of very big security bouncers were forcibly removing a seemingly inexhaustible string of many other women hopefuls clamboring up on stage. it seems to be a latin thing....

oh yeah, and this amazingly dolled-up transvestite in a red dress and white tights stopped to chat with us. you know you're in trouble when the transvestite is the best looking woman in the club hahaha. so yeah anyway I was kinda occupied this weekend. it was verging on a little hunter thompson-esque. which is way out of my league. but a boy can dream.

* * * 

anyway, where was I? yeah the g-spot is really in the news lately. a british study eg [4] was released where they questioned twins about whether they had encountered their g-spot. about 56% of both control and noncontrol groups reported having found their g-spot. the problem for this is that if one expected the g-spot to be genetically determined, the data does not support that.

there are many flaws with the study & they've been pointed out by many far more erudite than me. my favorite so far is [5] by susan block, a sex researcher who is emphatic that it exist and she's found it.

I think the study is probably flawed but does possibly reveal something. maybe the gspot is not genetically determined. that led me to muse openly on another blog about what features/variations we have on our bodies that are not genetically determined. its not easy to come up with a list.

the immediate ideas I had were obviously genetically determined. eg: eye color, hair color. body shape. etcetera. its even known from relatively recent research that ones tendency toward happiness or depression has a strong genetic component.  

I cant think of a great example, but I came up with this. fingerprints. fingerprint whorls are very unique and are randomly determined in the womb. as far as I know there is no correlation between fingerprints for genetic twins.

so theres your answer, or at least a hypothesis. the g-spot maybe something like a sexual fingerprint. the size and intensity of it is possibly determined randomly during formation of the fetus in the womb, just like fingerprints are. now, I dont claim to have much evidence supporting this, but its worth further investigation. I dont see anyone else proposing an interpretation for the british results.

* * *

I found out about the g-spot as a teenager from a very well informed asian friend, I believe. this friend at school even once told me about his mothers vibrator. out of curiosity, we had to go investigate it and look at it. we snuck into her bedroom and positioned ourselves next to the nightstand, hearts racing, eyes agape. he showed it, held it in his hands. I said something lame at an attemp at humor, something like, "just think, this was in your moms vagina." I think his mom was pretty hot, and I was attracted to her in that weird preadolescent way in which your head is disoriented but you dont really know whats going on.

anyay, I think my friend may have said something about it, and that opened me up to notice a book on it at the library. this would have been mid80s or so. I believe it may have been one of the earliest books written. I skimmed the book with some curiosity.

so, Ive written abouut some pretty personal stuff in this blog at times. but, I havent gone into very excruciating detail. anyway, I feel comfortable enough to talk about this a little now. I didnt start figuring out sexuality much until in my mid20s.

I was raised in an extremely conservative/religious background. it was very difficult to figure out what my own ideas were against the very "loud volume" of religious conviction of my family. I discovered, after it took me a long time to figure out (and only after I lived alone/independently for several years, away from family), that I really enjoyed sex & looked at it in a much different way than my family. my parents I suspect rarely had sex. my sexual personality/libido is, shall we say, much more exuberant than that.

now, the $64K question. have I been able to find the g-spot in my partners? I will answer in the affirmative. however, my experience is like this. its not some kind of discrete little button like the clitoris. in fact, I think thats why researchers are a little thrown off. because, the gspot is in a location that is very likely stimulated during most sex anyway. but, what is it that women are feeling when they say they've found their g-spot?

its hard to describe, but it seems there really are certain sexual positions that are female-centric so to speak. they maximize female pleasure. this is not to be seen "at the expense" of the male. vice versa for the male. when stimulated in the right way, they make the person come to orgasm quickly and once there, somewhat explosively.

but, the trick is that "stimulation" must be seen far more expansively than a mere physical concept. ecstatic sex involves stimulation of the partner on the many different levels. physical, emotional, mental, and ideally [as in the art of tantra, a subj for a whole other post] spiritual. maybe, if you get it right or strongly on each level, you will trigger the "gspot".

I think the g-spot hints at a kind of resonance that can be achieved between two partners. if you think of it as a physical location, you're led a little astray. it has been described somewhat jokingly in quantum mechanical terms.... such that the act of observation tends to alter its measurement/detection... maybe it doesnt actually have a physical location.....

it does amaze me that after decades since its apparent discovery there is still so much scientific controversy over the purpose of the orgasm, existence of the gspot eg [1,2,4]. sometimes, science is feeble and lame. it seems like it hasnt even yet passed Life 101.

* * * 

so, anyway, Ive studied sex very intensely for maybe 1.5 decades now, just a brief flicker of time and my existence, and feel like I still dont know very much. volumes could be written, volumes have. sex seems to contain deep mysteries, some intrinsic to the fabric of the universe. I find myself veering/leaning towards hindu perspectives. they believe this universe was created by an orgasm experienced by Shiva and Shakti. Shaivism, the worship of Shiva, is also highly intertwined with what is now known as "tantra".

I read a brilliant book on tantra called Tantric Quest by Odier. so far, I have not met a single other person in the universe who has read this book. what a tragedy. one of the most remarkable book Ive ever read in my life. it had many concepts in it in brief paragraphs that it took me many years to figure out on my own. it articulated many of my inchoate ideas, directions, yearnings, desires. 

tantra is about the worship of each other and each others bodies. tantra embodies that sex can be a kind of worship. that is a very deep concept that is quite foreign, alien, even at times abhorrent to western perspectives. sometimes it astonishes me that human beings can come up with such totally contradictory philosophies.

to me, sex shows the contrast of life. if you have been very deeply in love with a partner, and experienced very deep orgasms with them, its hard to ever look at the rest of life in the same way again. its a new lens to view reality. its hard to go back to re-experiencing and tolerating the mundane-- or partners with less than ecstatic compatibility.

you feel as if you wish you could stay in the embrace forever, continuously. intense sex leads to a kind of temporary transcendance. a hint of something greater. tantra examines this concept..... to me it is one of the core paradoxes & mysteries of our existence.... a mountainous dilemma that I sometimes feel as if I were impaled painfully on it every day.....

sex and love are intertwined in some deep way that we cannot fully perceive. its apparently some kind of symbiotic relationship. 

some of my favorite songs are about love.

Let love rule by lenny kravitz

Long train running by the doobie brothers. my favorite line is "without love, where would you be now?" thats actually a very deep, spiritual idea at the heart of tantra. or phrased in a different way, "with love, where would you go?"

sometimes, I am sure that humans are actually quite unevolved, and the evidence is our lack of understanding of love and sex. if we understood it, it seems we would not experience the myriad darkness(es) of the world. instead, the world would become as if it were made of light.... the greek story of pandoras box has a strange correlation/resemblance to the Garden of Eden story, and both seem to hint of the interrelationship between love, sex, and violence.....

the ancient culture of khajuraho holds an attraction for me. they understood love and sex in a way that seems to have been lost in the sands of time. this was an ancient hindu culture that reached heights of stone-cutting/carving prowess far beyond even the egyptians, in my opinion. they depicted ecstatic scenes, orgies. even in many centuries of western and eastern philosophy, arguably nothing has come close to some of their insights into human nature.

[1]
Why Do Women Orgasm?
Scientists are still mystified about the evolutionary advantages of many aspects of women's sexuality.
http://www.alternet.org/sex/142104/why_do_women_orgasm/

[2]
What Is an Orgasm, Anyway?
http://www.alternet.org/sex/143013/what_is_an_orgasm%2C_anyway

[3]
'The View' Ladies Explore the G-Spot: Does it Really Exist Despite UK Study Concluding it Doesn't?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rz6AraLJETk

[4]
G-Spot Study Explodes into Controversy
French Blast Results of Study by British Researchers into the Existance of the Female Erogenous Zone
http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2010/02/01/tech/main6163329.shtml

[5]
Meet the Scientists Who Think the G-Spot Doesn't Exist by Susan Block
http://www.alternet.org/sex/145504/meet_the_scientists_who_think_the_g-spot_doesn%27t_exist

[6]
Why We Really Need to Get Over the G-Spot
The G-spot has fueled endless debates among researchers and sexperts, while driving a mini sex industry. But does it matter at all?
http://www.alternet.org/sex/145626/why_we_really_need_to_get_over_the_g-spot_