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MAY 22, 2010 2:14PM

rima fakih, miss usa, & repression of all stripes

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hi all. a post about rima fakih, the new islamic-american who won Miss USA and is really making a lot of waves in the media.

I normally just kinda roll my eyes over Miss USA and Miss America pageants. I never watched em, but I could certainly appreciate the concept. yeah, I love to look at beautiful women [aka "eye candy"] but for me, its like torture. I must have some kind of disorder where I cant look at a beautiful woman without wanting to sleep with her. ouch. its not listed in the DSM manual, but Im sure its real.

this is a crazy admission here, but I was kinda sexually repressed in more than the 1st half of my life. yep, wild stuff-- I lost my virginity in my mid20s. next, since then, I discovered the joy of the opposite sex, and wanted to make up for lost time. I seemed to absorb a lot, or more than my share of the cultural schizophrenia about gender relations. this probably has a lot to do with my long-ago strained relationship with my mother, esp as a teenager, but thats a very long story for another post. for a long time when beautiful women flirted with me, I was unresponsive & almost barely able to recognize it, thinking only about their "ulterior motives" if I had any thought at all. then, I went to the other extreme, and became unable to think about women except in a passionate way, shall we say. both are uncomfortable extremes & make daily life awkward.

fortunately even after feminism there is s still a strong element of yin and yang in our culture, even though at times its a "crazy mixed up shook up world" (kinks lyric). so its amazing, dont worry if you're a guy thats afraid of women. absolutely nothing will happen to you. even in a postfeminist age, I can assure you the odds of getting asked out on a date by a woman are probably lower than getting killed by a terrorist. [to quote/borrow/rhyme with that famous bit of urban legend that circulated in the 80s related to women over 40 getting married].

so much for gender neutrality or equality, huh. thats an oxymoronic phrase that will never exist... what women really mean by "equality" is "give us all the benefits of the opposite team and none of the responsibilities/difficulties/liabilities".....of course!! I certainly cant blame em for that position. thats not unusual, thats just human nature.

theres a remarkable contrarian psychologist Wilhelm Reich, disciple of Freud who I like a lot. he has this concept of a "emotional plague" related to sexual repression that civilized societies all share, like a universal contagion. after many years of meditating on the subject, Id have to agree.

so it took me something like more than a decade to figure out females and my own positive attitudes about interacting/relating with them, then I succeed and kinda got cut off from that in a monogamous relationship. @#%^&. just when I begin to understand and try to master the skills of attracting a sexy gf, I succeed, and then have to shut that all down. =( it would seem that the skills to succeed in dating are in many ways exactly the opposite & at odds with those required to sustain a LTR, long term relationship....

see, *all* cultures are not really sure about this crazy little thing called "luv". they think luv is a good thing, as long as its not your own daughter or doesnt involve sex, skimpy clothing, moslems, pole dancing, nonmonogamy, or whatever. now, I dont know what kind of g*d to believe it, but I do believe in "luv". "luv" is my God. "luv" is my religion. "luv" is ubiquitous, pervasive, its everywhere. "luv" is inclusive. you have to close your eyes not to see it.

* * *

oh yeah, what were we talking about? rima fakih? havent seen any blogs on here about her, and she's bouncing around the news, so maybe I should whip something out. a blog post that is.

I am very impressed with her so far. ahem aside from the bikini shots. [which make her look like a goddess.]

I dont know a lot about her yet, Im still doing thorough research, wink, but so far she has managed not to totally self-destruct like that huge Led Zeppelin that went down in flames, carrie prejean. fakih seems to be a little more sophisticated or media savvy. [which isnt a strong compliment, ouch!! maybe a box of hammers would be more media savvy than carrie prejean....]. anyway, Im keeping my eyes on fakih. the idea that a islamic american could be miss USA, what a great idea.

it seems to me the conservatives of our own culture are really not a lot different than islamic fundamentalists and near-fanatics who want to stone their women for adultery, or put them in chadors so you cant even barely see their eyeballs & think an exposed ankle is indecent. (and by the way ladies, that alone would not stop me from being aroused by looking at you... your eyes alone would be enough...as the tantric saying goes, "sometimes the goddess is honored with just a glance....") US conservatives want to limit women's expression in similar ways. seriously!

for example, when miley cyrus poses backless for a cover photo [tastefully in my opinion], it caused a huge commotion in the conservative commuinity. if a woman does anything with a pole, even fully clothed, the conservatives freak out. again miley is a good example. ok, she's young, but I for one dont think pole dancing is inherently indecent or improper for young girls.

so yeah, rima is getting in trouble for some pole dancing photos. man, she wasnt even in a bikini for g*ds sake. ok, its pushing it for young girls to do it. but for me, it fits in with "sex positive". the culture is very schizophrenic about young girls and sex at times.

oh yeah, and there is some stuff circulating on the net about the US Right wing formulating "conspiracy theories" about rima's family being connected to terrorists. odious, but TBE for sure (to be expected). man, I am an expert on conspiracy theories, and it definitely amuses me to no end that Joe Sixpack, when he finally is able to formulate a semi original concept not reported in the MSM, makes it about rima and her terrorist connections.... yep, americans are really bozos sometimes.

actually, I was experiencing a strange sense of deja vu over the whole thing. as I recall, not too long ago I was musing what it would be like if a islamic lady won a beauty contest in the US. of course Im always wallowing/marinating in exotic fantasies about beautiful women, so its hard to pinpoint.

I think I may have come up with the idea after carrie prejean's fiasco, maybe. because to me, female beauty is universal. I admit it took me years to appreciate the beauty of women of different races/cultures. I do admit, it does not seem to be innate, its an acquired taste. but, in my opinion, a great way to exercise ones racial impartiality. a corresponding exercise for women, of course.

rimas "look" is very hot right now. there are several women that seem to have very similar looks to me in their faces [not necessarily their bodies]. dark hair, dark eyes, strong eyelashes and/or eyebrows.

  • nichole scherzinger, pussycat dolls, dancing up a storm and doing well on Dancing with the Stars, her dance clips going viral
  • eva longoria. shes in the news a lot.
  • kim kardashian. rima and kardashian do not really have similar bodies, kardashian is so voluptuous, but their faces are similar, and in my opinion the waste-to-hip ratio seems similar.

anyway rima I hope you can go out there & be yourself, show the world who you are, and not self destruct and pull it off. you're shaking up conservatives in all religions, and thats a positive.

make luv, not war!!


Sex and the Shiite
Rima Fakih—the Muslim pole-dancer and swimsuit-wearer who just became Miss USA—is not so unusual as you might think.

Right-wing blogs are flaming Miss USA winner Rima Fakih, the first-ever Muslim to win the crown. Benjamin Sarlin talks to the pageant's spokeswoman, who slams the critics' "ignorance." PLUS, watch the 7 best moments from the pageant.

Bikini Diplomacy

Newly Crowned Miss USA: I Wasn't a Stripper

Miss USA divides Muslim community in Michigan

A Muslim Miss USA: Bikinis and Bombshells [video]

Rima Fakih: Miss Michigan Earns Herself Miss USA Crown [video]


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Wow, I'm glad I read your post. I thought I was the only one who feels that looking at beautiful women is torture. For most guys it's eye-candy but I can't get passed the overwhelming desire to make love to them and the overwhelming frustration of knowing I can't.

"I can assure you the odds of getting asked out on a date by a woman are probably lower than getting killed by a terrorist."
LOL. So fucking true!

Here's to sexual repression and remaining a virgin even into one's mid-20s. It's nice to know I'm not alone!
hi guy. yeah very ambivalent/torn about the whole subject. still working it out myself. dont have the answer yet. the media puts gorgeous women everywhere, and Id say the intensity has increased measureably in my lifetime.
Im interested in religious/spiritual approaches & look to them for some insight. buddhism, sufism, hinduism, all try to address the issue of desire & suffering related to it.. still trying to figure it out!!
Right. My goal is "appreciation without desire". If I can just find a way to appreciate the fact that the beauty exists without feeling the primal urge to possess it, I think I'll be all right.
"appreciation without desire". wow, thats a pretty subtle concept. since a young age Ive tried to be averse to materialism, but the way you frame it, it sounds like my affinity for beautiful women is similar.... but, on the other hand I could surely "appreciate" a woman much more if she was in my bed.