wakingupslowly

wondering, wandering

wakingupslowly

wakingupslowly
Location
A city in, Iowa,
Birthday
June 17

MAY 3, 2009 5:16PM

After

Rate: 20 Flag

after the collision of our bodies

after our lips cool and our skin dulls

after the love is made and sits over us

after the excitement clears and dies

after the kisses are small again

you sit up

even stand

you put on your shirt and

your socks and

your pants and

you button and

you zip and

you tie as if to get me away and out of you

you are covered again

i am bare

you are right and good like the man on the suburban train

i sit on the sheets watching you

your eyes see my outline

not my whole self

i stare at you like a child meeting a stranger

a hug  a kiss

you leave

i sit alone

until the next collision 

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Comments

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Very nicely done...
NICE. glad to have you back, girl.
very nice. evocative.
baby raper! kidding of course...
this is very good...
:) yeah, I know that feeling. Good poem Wakes.
Beautiful. I can feel the meaning of the words. Very touching and close to home. Thank you!
Whoa. Nicely done, Waking. You certainly touched a raw nerve in me ... and I suspect others.

Rated
All I can say is, "Yes!". Marvelous.
Could feel it. Yes.
Whoa....

This is shiver-inducing.
ohhhhh, thanks to each and all of you. truly. thank you.

this is an old one, note the tags, but still resonates at times.

I mean it- thanks for reading.
LOve this! Excellent. Like it should...took me there.
This is better than the last one. He should read this, maybe take a day off for god's sake.
Very, very lovely and evocative. But. I hope he wasn't married? Maybe so, I've been there myself. S'ok, just, not any more, right?
Way up the ladder now.
More thanks to you all.

Don't worry, Duaenart...that's enough for now.

And Sally, no. Not married. It was a long time ago.
lovely. i'm glad you posted this.
"after the kisses are small again"
intake of breath as a solitary tear slides down my cheek
--rated--
I'd never leave you that way...
I have felt this exactly. Just perfect!

I'm happy to see that you're back. :)
nice work! There's a real rhythm that's natural and unforced.
Rated
Thank you so much for reading.

I'm pleased that it said something to each of you.

Lisa, thanks for the welcome back. It was a bit of a rough winter.

xo
I love your writing.
Many similar efforts on OS don't resonate with me. This one did. Poignant.
Thanks ZB and Mal.

I feel a little badly that so many people relate to this poem. It was not my happiest moment, but thankfully, it was many years ago.

I don't approach sex the same way anymore, so these feelings are not really possible for me these days.
But it is this type of experience which helps define us and, sad or not, is touching and necessary. Thanks, again.
You're right, Mal. And I suppose that is ultimately why I write poems at all. Well, that and because I love words and the precision poems require.
Some of the toughest writing there is, at least to be good at it. It's easy to be loquacious--much tougher to be economical while still evocative.
Samuel Taylor Coleridge: "Poetry: the best words in the best order."

I strive and ache for that. (And that's why you won't see very many more of my poems.)