Nope----get to deleting and stick to it. The other stuff sounds good but it would just turn out the same way, regardless of what the temptation offered.

An eloquent evocation of the divided mind, though I suspect you ain't all that divided. Anyway, you don't really want to fast forward. Too many good occasions for boots you'd miss!

Delete it! He already feels the loss, knows the mistake. Be strong! "This Too Shall Pass". He'll call again, and again.. till your healed.

Wouldn't you prefer to have a man who put your needs first? He's out there. You're strong. I hope writing about this helps.

Thanks, all.

I know. Delete, delete, delete.

(But really, fast forwarding through all this to a ripe old age where I am surrounded by sleepy cats and I take long walks all day sounds very tempting)

oh, waking. the sonsabitches, man. dont let 'em get you down.

You've got your answer . . . but want to say, you write of this beautifully, showing the full range of temptation. Nice.

Don't answer. No answer is also an answer. A very hard lesson to learn.....

ohhh tempt me..

I'll tempt Brian B while you delete. He won't notice a thing.

I'm going through a difficult time right now with a friend, onetime lover but just a friend for quite a long time... I haven't returned her phone calls or email and I don't intend to. I have no way of reaching her, and I don't intend to.

Some relationships are much more drama and trouble than they are worth. I looked at my life a while back and cut out any relationships where I felt WORSE after spending time with people instead of better. Your friends are supposed to uplift you, not drain your energy.

It was hard, because I am sentimental and I had to write off many years of friendship, but in the end sometimes Cartouche is right and no answer is the only appropriate answer at all.

A man too senseless to see the good right in front of his eyes must be deleted.

Beautiful poem... stirs strong memories with the modern tech dilemma of never having to memorize a number.

I love reading your poetic thoughts. Return the call. ((hug))

It seems to me that if you keep deleting... and he keeps calling... then he is the one who dependent. Of course, you could block his number-- or do as many suggested and not answer-- but severing those ties in that ultimate way is like jumping off a cliff. You don't know whether you'll crash to the earth below, or soar as if on the wings of a bird.

I'm going to choose the latter for you.

I know this. I have no answer for you.

Thanks, all. I wrote this one really fast yesterday, and while it has no real poetic value, I'm glad I posted it. Your comments have me thinking, per the usual.

(Am I allowed to say I like Grif's idea best?) Steve B is pretty dang funny, though.

Oh, how I love this. It oozes temptation. I get it. But, yeah, delete. You deserve more.

Thanks, Unbreakable.

I will delete. Again. And then.... hope for another call.

(Did I just admit that?) Dammit.

:) one has to complete the dive, before one can resurface or redirect.

Thanks, Rolling. I like that idea.

Yup. I'm with Cartouche on this one too. And yeah... DELETE! Man if I could only do the same...

Lovely, lovely poem. Rated.

Thanks for reading and commenting, Wish I Knew You As A Kid.

Delete. Got it.

But. But. But.

It is so damn hard. I've never missed anyone this much before. Never.

Either way, you learn.
Either way, you'll make out ok.

But I like what incandescent said...

this pain you feel and the dilemma is not about him at all. it is about you, who you are - be true to yourself, you keep loving, missing, holding on to the idea or the person in your mind till the time your mind is ready to let go.

unless one is obsessive, which in normal state we aren't, it reaches a point where it will have seen the experience from all perspectives, shown you completely the extent to which you are prepared and able to go (the learning part bout your self, which gives you conviction, confidence), it will automatically 'eject' the disk and voila, he is out of your life and you are flying another kite, renewed, re(in)vigorated, with brand new cells and energy :)

people are unique, what one brings out in you another never can, and sometimes you like so much what a certain person is doing to your mind that you want it to continue, and there really is no replacement, but think of it this way, while he feeds a prat of your mind nd self shows you some good parts about life and you, it starves the other more vital parts that keep these other ones alive - so this would die a natural death, don't rush it by deleting.

deleting the number is a physical act, the mind is Queen, it will not accept the body domineering over itself :) and since you enjoy being honest, you are self aware, you would be troubled with the delusion. let it cook itself and burn itself out. clean the pot later. you would also be giving that person his due, for he must have some good in him which attracted you to him in the first place, you are no fool. so be just, be fair to you and him too :) which means accept that his mind didn't find what it was looking for in you (most men feel intimidated by women who know their minds I think, they like them as friends, but never as lovers, for lovers they look for the quintessential 'mother' fig that would nurse them in some way - I don't know, just surmising, so don't hit me)

I like you and I think understand in the sense that I cna relate to you (but you are the best judge of that) . what is your name?

do come read this please: http://open.salon.com/blog/writervixen/2009/08/04/the_age_thing

think you might love the exp

Yeah. I know the feeling. I think I've deleted hundreds and hundreds of texts that I've written. I've saved into drafts dozens and dozens of emails. And I've dialed in the number only to close my phone before I hit send several times a day for many months. But Rolling is right in that it's more about you than the other person. When you invest so much into someone, we are left feeling raw and stripped when they are not there. Who else is there to call when you have an insignificant little victory in life? Who else is there to call when you are lonely? Who else is there to call when the other side of the bed is cold, and who else is there to call when you have an epiphany? But... just because there's no one else to call doesn't mean we should call them (the person we miss I mean). The more we give ourselves excuses to make that call, the more we allow ourselves "just one more talk," the longer we are keeping that wound fresh and vulnerable. EVERY time we do what we know we ought not, we are peeling open any scab of healing that had begun (whether we noticed the healing or not). In the end, the faster we learn to ignore those pangs of desire, the faster it will scab up, heal up, and start minimizing whatever scar is left. Anything short of absolute will-power is not doing ourselves any favors. We're just allowing the whole healing process to have to start back at square one. That's my humble opinion anyway. It DOES get easier. I am telling you this from my current experience. I'm still in the midst of it, but every day gets easier. You'll be okay :) You'll just hurt and miss him (I'm just assuming it's a man I guess) for a while. And then you'll be okay anyway. PM me anytime if you need any encouragement at all!

came back to confess that "for lovers they look for the quintessential 'mother' fig that would nurse them in some way" is not just true about men. it is true for me too, a 'cozy' housemate tht feels like home rather than a cerebral playmate at 'home'

Well, goodness, night-time readers! I was fast asleep last night as you pondered my existence and left these thoughtful messages. I greatly appreciate it. (The sleeping and the pondering).

Your kind thoughts mean much to me today. Thank you.

We all want to be a tease...for a moment. But then what?

That said, very nice poem. Rated.

Well, I sure know what I'd do-ignore the call and obsess on it for a week or more. Then answer it the next time it rang. That way I wouldn't have to return the call myself. Soooo, return the call dammit. If it is, it will ,and if not, oh well.

Grif.... you make me smile.

I'm not obsessing! I promise. When I obsess it's usually about my darling cat, Phred, or summer cherries, or whether I should color my hair red in October. I don't obsess about phone calls. Promise. Don't let the poem fool ya.

xo

Liked!

If it were me and I saw anyway of repairing a relationship, I'd take the chance. I did not memorize his number. I deleted every e-mail received or sent, every phone call record and speed dial so when he called I could not return the call if I weakened. It also kept me from the temptation of calling him. I, like you, was broken-hearted when we broke up. He called and called, leaving no messages. The phone rang early one morning and I was caught off guard. I answered. We are together again.

Thanks, Rainee, for reading and for such a hopeful comment.

I'm happy for you. Thanks for sharing your joy.

Waking - sometimes my humor (sarcasm) escapes me. I was really talking about myself when I said obsess - really - really. Now you've got me all curious about October's color, and it's only early August. :-)

Grif, I've been wondering about that color thing since March when the color guy at my hair place first brought it up with me. I told him I'd think about it, and since then I think I've committed to this fall. Hmmmm. If I love it, I'll post a pic. Maybe. Big, big maybe.

I can be patient. Burnt orange to a deep purple fade has possibilities. Si?

This made me think of Waylon Jennings:
"But then someday when your poor heart is on the mend I just might pass this way again."
I like the poem and understand the sentiment.

i like this poem! This is awesome!

Thanks Love!lee and JustJuli. I don't know that Waylon song but that should surprise no one. That dang heart mending... between that and longing... it's a mixed bag.

Grif.... ummmm... burnt orange and purple? Ok. I'll tell the hair guy I have a plan!

Ummm - I have had this conversation with myself. Emotionally honest and true. You'll delete it and stop answering when it's time!

Change your phone number. That will teach him.

Thanks TeresaM and O'Really?.

I think... for the next two weeks I will try the advice from one commenter each day. That'll mess with my mind! And the caller's!

Y'all are the best readers.

Just passed this on to my eldest daughter -- still reeling from her recent break-up. Trying NOT to read facebook, emails or texts. Feeling guilty wondering if HE is alright. She's ALMOST to delete. Keep us aprised...

Do nothing. That's the delicious predicament you need not change. I'm talking about the number, not the hair color. . .

"(But really, fast forwarding through all this to a ripe old age where I am surrounded by sleepy cats and I take long walks all day sounds very tempting)"

Well, I'm there more or less, and yes, your hormones will blissfully slow down and you'll be able to have some peace. Meanwhile, you deserve the best and I hope you don't settle for less and can relax a bit and move along. There's always your writing!