There are moments

I think

this time you'll share with me

just a bit of yourself 

the smallest crumb

the simplest measure

of who you truly are

maybe this time 

maybe this time

maybe this time

More and more

I find

I exist on the outskirts

of… Read full post »

When I was a child I believed no one existed beyond my interaction with them.  I was the center of everything; the people, places and things I encountered as I moved through my life were created simply for my benefit - be that good or bad. The idea that anyone had… Read full post »

"Forget love ... I'd rather fall in chocolate!" - Anonymous 

"Chocolate is cheaper than therapy and you don't need an appointment."

"What is the meaning of life?  All evidence to date suggests it's chocolate." 

Need I say more?  I'm seriously dedicated to the enjoym… Read full post »

I think if I get into the habit of writing a bit about what happens, or rather what doesn't happen, I may lose a little of the sense of loneliness and desolation which abides in me.      - Alice James

Last night I posted the (above) quote… Read full post »

When my oldest son, Timothy, called me last week he reminded me of something I hadn't thought of in a while: a car accident I had been in when I was 20 years old.  While that would not usually be a cause for celebration, my accident had a happy ending.

It… Read full post »

I've been reading all the terrific posts about fears and I'm in awe. How can you all be so brave?  How do you write about it so openly? How do you manage to write about those fears in such a way that those reading your words understand and can relate so… Read full post »

 
^{My grandparents, Jay and Sara Brown}

 She wore his ring nearly fifty years.

He’d slipped it tenderly on her finger

as a symbol of their love –

pure, true,

no beginning, no ending.

Hand in hand they set about their journey;

pushing, pulling one another up steep mou… Read full post »

I waited,

 meditating on barren  fields

cloaked in stillness.

 I searched the far horizon,

 praying for your return. 

The cloud-dressed sky hung low and heavy,

spitting words wet as rain in fits and starts.

Tap.  Tap, tap, tap tap tap...tap…tap.

The song it… Read full post »

When I was 17 I graduated from high school.

I was full of ideas for a life but no real plans.  I wanted to go to college but had no idea where or why or what I'd study when I got there. I wanted to see the world but didn't… Read full post »

Staring at the screen, fingers growing cold

and numb as they hover above the keyboard,

she waits.

Where are the words?

How does she vanquish this abyss?

This something that’s missing in her life –

the ache, the yearning, the unfulfille… Read full post »

I am the wind dancing on water,

  the sacred sway of the trees,

  the hand holding sparrows in flight;

  the breath of the sun,

warming and caressing the earth. 

I am a woman seen and not heard,

  the song before it was written,

 … Read full post »

I lost someone;

lost something...somehow… at the same time.

He said, “I’ll be here always. I won’t walk away.”

And yet he’s gone, walked away

as if I no longer matter.

As if I ceased to exist.

I want him to know how I cared,

how I ache,… Read full post »

Finally, I can bake again.  Hurray!!  In all my angst about moving there was one really terrific thing to celebrate: the new place has a much better oven. I'd lived with a pathetic excuse for an oven far too long; I couldn't wait to get settled in here and… Read full post »

I hold tight to a hot coal of the past

I cannot set it free.

It‘s burned through my skin, melding to sinew and bone

becoming a part of who I am.  (The

legacy of who you are to me. )

The heat of it smolders through my soul,… Read full post »

I know you’re struggling right now

feeling like life has you beat, and

It’s time to lay down the fight;

I love you.

I hear you saying you’ve got a plan

And you just want to work it through,

the loneliness is overwhelming;

I lo… Read full post »

Your arms around me,

your breath in my hair,

your heartbeat singing with mine;

the curve of your jaw in my hands,

the softness of your lips against my fingertips,

the tease of desire in your smile;

the breadth of your shoulders,

the rise and fall… Read full post »

The wind blows cruel and cold;

struggling to defend myself from its

fierce hand makes me angry, numb.

These days itch at my soul, leaving me

tired of Winter's smudgy grey.

The entirety of my world seems anxious

for revival, for the warm brea… Read full post »

Lately it feels as though some in my life are trying to change me.  It seems like they want me to fit more perfectly into their life than find a way for who I am - imperfect as I am - to simply be fit enough.

Who I am is who I am.  Love… Read full post »

There was a time

I felt safe

with you

talking to you

being with you

knowing you

loving you

There was a time

I trusted you

to be with me

to hear me

to see me

to know me

to love me

Now I wonder, as time… Read full post »

I’ve yet to look into your eyes

I’ve yet to touch you

I’ve yet to know the comfort of your breath

or the sound of your voice.

And yet…I have.

I’ve yet to stroll with you along city streets,

my hand tucked safely in yours as you share your… Read full post »

This is how I'm feeling today: knowing words but not knowing how to use them or move them...or prevent them. 
It isn't a bad place to be; just for today, it's ok.

"I May Know The Word"

I may know the word
But not say it
I may know the truth
But not face it… Read full post »

Moving.  Totally at the top of the Things that Suck list.  Just the mention of it makes me groan and get all itchy. 

Yet, here I am preparing for moving day. 

I make mental lists of what I need to do; what should be sorted, packed, tossed or stored,… Read full post »

Today is my mother’s birthday. She is 71 years old. 

I don’t know her address so I won’t be sending her a card.  I don’t know her phone number so I won’t be calling her with good wishes.  I could get both those things if I wanted them ba/… Read full post »