Chronicles of Wally

Don't Tell Mama I Work At WalMart !


Retail, Hell
Low Man on the Totem Pole
I am a wage-slave currently owned by Wal-Mart. I spend my days toiling at the front door of Walmart and observing the human condition from a rather interesting perspective. I write about my life....or lack thereof.


Wally_M's Links
NOVEMBER 3, 2009 4:38PM

What if Lincoln had been a Redneck

Has there ever been a more disparaged, more put upon minority group than that of the lowly Redneck? Let me answer that for you….NO. Never in the piss-poor annals of this great nation has one group been so downtrodden.

Oh I can hear the disclaimers being cried out even now.Read full post »

It was a dark and stormy night when Wally M. Geezer came into the world. Well okay, maybe it wasn't dark and stormy, but haven't you always wanted to use that line in a story?

Actually it was a bright, sunny day in early summer. I was sitting on my front… Read full post »

A new study has been released by the American Psychiatric Association in Washington, D.C. that is not only startling in its conclusions, but may hold long ranging implications for women in the United States.

The APA did a scientific poll of one thousand women, the subject: How do women feel aboutRead full post »

OCTOBER 14, 2009 5:53PM

A Tale of Two Cities

I would like to tell you about two small towns; Livingston, Texas and Doniphan, Missouri.  These two towns, though separated by many miles do share some similarities.

Both are small; Livingston boasts about five thousand in population while Doniphan is up around three thousand now. Both towns h… Read full post »

OCTOBER 5, 2009 10:06AM

Walmart: An American Cancer

Often times, when speaking to people in the real world about Walmart, I liken the spread of this retail giant, to the spread of a Cancer. I tell them that we here in America, and indeed, the world now, are like smokers.

Smokers, of which I am one, know that smokingRead full post »

Editor’s Pick
OCTOBER 1, 2009 2:12PM

Walmart Logic:Or how you can be fired for doing a good job

Yesterday I had to go back to my Walmart store in order to get more paperwork concerning my medical leave.  This was about as painful as a coon chewing his foot off to escape a steel trap, then returning to the trap to have his next meal.

But enough about me.… Read full post »

SEPTEMBER 29, 2009 4:25PM

Foodie Tuesday: Mama's Buttermilk Biscuits

Having misplaced my humor for the past week or so, I have decided to brave uncharted waters and enter into my buddy Walter Blevins' favorite playground...Foodie Tuesday.

Walter...buddy...this one's for you.


My mother was a master cook in the old fashioned sense of the word. She cooked country… Read full post »

SEPTEMBER 27, 2009 3:08PM

A Fishing a master story teller

You guys know how I love my big Sis, BuffyW...we go back a long ways, but today I want to just show you she's not the only one what's rubbed shoulders with celebrities.

I once had coffee with Jerry Clower! Now I know you all remember Jerry Clower. He was just… Read full post »

I had the perfect title for today's blog but it was too long and I couldn't use it.  I was going to entitle the entry: Some Philosophical Thoughts from Wally M. Geezer or What the Hell is Homer Simpson Doing in the World Series.

See....too long.

"Wally, what in the worldRead full post »

SEPTEMBER 19, 2009 1:39PM

A Tale From the Buzzard Neck Nursing Home


 Today I thought I would give you a story about one of the more "colorful" residents of Wrinkled Acres, the Buzzard Neck nursing home. Without further is Crazy Ethel....

 Ethel was a bit of a demon in her wheelchair, and loved to charge around the nursing home, taking cornRead full post »

SEPTEMBER 18, 2009 7:13AM

Early Morning Mayhem

There is nothing I hate worse than having my beauty sleep disturbed and this morning it was not only disturbed, it was blasted to smithereens, like manners at an award show.

The one guilty of starting the process of my disturbance was my sweet wife, Daughter of Godzilla.  Some deeply… Read full post »

SEPTEMBER 16, 2009 3:50PM

A Blast From the Past

I beg your indulgence today, while I take us on a trip with Prof. Peabody and Sherman in the Way-Back Machine.

We land in the year, 1965, in the town of Buzzard Neck, hometown. I feel the need to revisit a rather humorous event that happened back in this dark age.

In 1965… Read full post »

One of my closest friends back in Buzzard Neck, Texas is Billy Bob Rabinowitz. Now Billy Bob, besides being the only Jewish cowboy in Buzzard Neck, Texas, also holds the distinction of being one of the most successful chicken farmers in town.

I remember when Billy Bob decided to get into… Read full post »

SEPTEMBER 6, 2009 11:24AM

The Perils of a Baptist Upbringing

 I got this in my email and wanted to share it with is sooo "me".

As I walked down the busy sidewalk with my wife, knowing I was late for church, my eye fell upon one of those unfortunate, ragged vagabonds that are found in every city these days. Read full post »

SEPTEMBER 3, 2009 11:26AM

Shakespeare Sucks

Do I have to be the first to say it out loud? Okay, since the rest of you are just sheep who refuse to see the truth, I will say it here: Shakespeare SUCKS!

There, it's out in the open now...I have admitted a great truth the rest of you are… Read full post »

SEPTEMBER 1, 2009 6:18AM

Walmart Funnies

 Needless to say, this past week has been a bad one and I just thought some of us could use a laugh to start the day off with. So, here are a few jokes dealing with if THAT isn't joke enough. I hope you enjoy them.

Yesterday, Walmart warned… Read full post »

AUGUST 26, 2009 4:06PM

Some Facts and Figures

Pardon my French people but my give-a-shit wagon has just broke smooth in two.  Wait...I need to back up just a tad.

 Every single day when any of the 2.1 million folks, worldwide who work for Walmart comes to work, they are greeted by manic-minded managers who extol each of us… Read full post »

It doesn't happen often, but Saturday night was one of those red-letter days. The stars and planets were in perfect alignment and all the signs were right...we had sold some goats and had some EXTRA MONEY!

So, for the first time in three years, the Missus and I had some… Read full post »

AUGUST 23, 2009 1:01PM

Is Open Salon the New EHarmony??


So there I was, just sitting at my computer, minding my own business and reading some really great blogs when I noticed I had a PM.  For those of you new to the site, PM means: Private Message....I think.

Well of… Read full post »

AUGUST 21, 2009 10:09PM

Why did I come to work today?

"Why am I here? Why did I come to work today?"

These are two questions I ask myself almost daily of late. As those of you who follow this blog know, I have been having some medical issues and they have grown worse each day for the past week.  For… Read full post »

AUGUST 20, 2009 1:06PM

Open Availability

 After my last entry on Walmart's Point System I was contacted by a reader of this blog who also happens to work for Walmart and he reminded me of another weapon in Walmart's arsenal which they use in their war of attrition against full-time and older employees.

Open Availability.

Now that… Read full post »

AUGUST 18, 2009 1:02PM

The Walmart Family

As the five or six who regularly read this blog know, Wally is all about the yucks. I slam Walmart, the shoppers, the managers...everyone, in an effort to make you laugh once in awhile.

Well today it isn't so much about the yucks but instead it is about the yucky… Read full post »

AUGUST 16, 2009 12:13PM

Stream of Consciousness...Sorta

Like all good bloggers, I have always come to the table well armed and ready to create a worthy blog effort. Whenever I sit down at the desk to write I am surrounded by all the tools of the trade. I have my own stack of comic books for reference material… Read full post »

AUGUST 12, 2009 9:37PM

The Secret to Customer Service

Those of you who have the stomach to read more than two or three of these little tales of mine must think that being a People-Greeter is the worse job in all of Wal-Mart.

You would be wrong.

There is one job which is light-years ahead of mine in the category… Read full post »

AUGUST 10, 2009 1:45PM

A Bad Week at Walmart

I swear, I am like that squirrel who was screwing the skunk: "I've bout had all this good stuff I can stand." I have 18 more months to go before the occasion of my sixty-second birthday.  That will be the day I can officially pile all my brown slacks and blue… Read full post »