Augh!

Everything I read about "Moms, Dads, and Parenting" has to do with kids -- usually the diaper crowd, which means parents int their 30s. Sometimes (not often) it's about parenting a tween, or teenager, guiding them through the labyrinth or social networking, video games or bullying. All well and good.

But! Those of us who are in our 50s and 60s are still parents. We still ache for our childrens' missed opportunities, the slings and insults that life delivers on an oh-so-regular basis.

We've gone through the dviding up of parental duties, the "I-changed-the-last-diaper, the It's-your-turn-to-ge-up next. Then we moved to school, the bullying (or not), the achievement, the why-isn't my-kid given-at-least-a-modicum-of-attention-or-encouragement? Why does it always go to those that already have the most? 

We've seen the system fail our children. We've seen our marriages fail because we differ on how to address our childrens' needs. Its this aspect of parenthood that never gets addressed. 

Dividing the diaper duty, or the sleep deprevation is nothing compared to looking back over your life's work -- and if you choose to have children, that IS your life's work -- and thinking, not only"What did I do wrong?" but "how could I have done  it better -- my child rearing, my career, my marriage,? Could I have done better by my friends and family?"

And so we survivors gather together. Sometimes we cry: We failed, we failed ourselves, our children, and our spouses.

But it was all done with the best of intentions.

To today's young parents I say don't sweat the diapers or the sleep, unless you are very lucky,  you'll enter your 50s and 60s and despair over your shortcomings.