I can't help myself. I just love "The Bachelor." Every season I say that I will not get sucked in (and I have friends who swear to the same thing), but it seems like every time, the inevitable happens. I watch five minutes of the war of the roses, and I'm hooked. 

That doesn't mean that I have actually watched every episode of every season of "The Bachelor." I don't think I watched Brad Womack's first season, although some of the women from that season stick out in my mind, so maybe I did see bits and pieces. But that's the beauty of "The Bachelor": it doesn't matter. Every season is wonderfully the same and predictable. And every season somehow manages to maintain the requisite drama level, thanks to the women who are always a perfect mix of equal parts crazy, desperate, weird, sincere, and naive.

Last night's episode opened with a scene of Brad standing barefoot in the grass, gazing at Los Angeles from the porch of his millionare's pad (what's his "real" job, btw?). The only problem with this scene? He's rubbing his bare feet in astroturf. A fitting metaphor for "reality TV," don't you think?

Since I have no real memories of Brad's season, I can't really speak knowledgeably about his past as a bachelor. I will say that he seems (as he readily admits) to be trying REALLY hard (too hard, if you ask me) to prove himself to the women. He also seems to be made of wood and stone. Watching him and Ashley run through their own private, creepy carnival was a little much, but hey, he has to prove that he can have fun, so he will run stiffly through rides and eat cotton candy if the producers ask him to.

Yes, Brad's trying hard, but as we saw in last night's episode, some of these women really don't deserve how much effort he is putting into rehabilitating his image (I'm a cad no more, America!). Who are these undeserving women? Well, the producers tell us it's Michelle, the 30th birthday girl who has the I'll fake-cry if I want to blues (Brad better make me feel special!), Melissa the waitress with the made-for-tv wardrobe (boo hoo, women are bitches, Brad, boo hoo...haha, I have onion and sausage breath...boo hoo, Brad), and Rachel (mean girl incarnate). Of the three, only Michelle made it through, but after reading Brad's blog, I think he eventually wises up to the rose-dancing vixen's manipulative ways. 

If these women are the devils, who is the angel of this episode? So far, it's Emily, who even I can't get snarky about. Emily's story is heartbreaking, and it looks like next week she will struggle to share it with Brad. I have to give it to her for not laying her story out on the table on the first night--if ever there was an ace in the hole, it's that story, but she is holding back until the "right time." And we've seen women share their tragedies way too early on this show before (Hi Brad, I'm ____. Did you know my Mom died when I was six, and I survived a deadly illness which only makes me stronger and more willing to love?). With Emily, I don't feel that desperation to use tragedy for gain. She really does seem "authentic" (God, I hate saying that, but it's true). Of course, she might be stuck with the "can't open up" story line this season (although I think Jackie might be stuck with that one, too). So, we shall see.

Either way, it will be fun to watch. I might miss a few episodes here and there, but my new Tivo will help me cut through the crap and get to the good stuff: oh, the drama!