I did something a few years back I always swore I would never do.

 I was thoughtless, insensitive, selfish and myopic. Okay, I’ve admittedly committed all of those crimes in the past, but not like this.

 I have a girlfriend, Melissa. Melissa is this… Read full post »

Guess I haven't had a bot to talk to in a while. Some of my best interactions here on OS are with bots. I like bots. Remember that time we got one to talk back?  Lawn Furniture Bot? Then the bot went away. Probably got fired for talking to strange women...… Read full post »

 A funny thing happened on the way to the Friday Wrap-Up...

I was about to hit 'publish' when I heard a frantic knocking on my door.

"That's strange," I said to myself. "Nobody knocks on the door at this

time of day." I got up to answer… Read full post »

My mother could juggle.

 Not a lot of people knew this. I can’t remember when I first learned of it, though I’m sure it was during one of my recoveries from surgery as a kid. My mom had an English accent, always wore skirts, donned an apron while… Read full post »

I know people that keep every scrap of artwork their little bundles of joy trot home from school. They tell their kid that every single thing they produce is magnificent, and frame everything from drawings of stick figures featuring legs growing right from the head to maps made of flour and… Read full post »

 First, we have a Committee Report ('Amendment to FAQs') to read into the minutes. There will be a vote to adopt it into our Mission Statement at the end of the meeting. Please take your seats. Freaky, we got enough cake for everyone, please sit up here by me so I… Read full post »

"We’re not ready for polygamy’" said the headline in the local paper.

Really? I might be.

Think about it. Bunches of husbands, all with specific talents, answering my every whim, should I develop whims. At this point I am relatively whimless, but I could… Read full post »

What's the point?

 A bit of happy bitching is always fun in here. Really. Gets the blood up, draws people out of their shells a little...it's a lot like listening to the noise level of a party as it builds and falls, following the peaks and valleys of conversations, orations, laughter.… Read full post »

There was a wonderful synergy in my household when I was growing up. My father and I would have exhausting conversations about current events and history and that bastard Trudeau.… Read full post »

Wanna see an index of Wrap-ups? Scroll down....  

The troll became a tramp in Week Six...

 Week Six find Floyd Elliot donning a very manly crown. And if you enlarge it, you can see what he reads.

 … Read full post »

Congratulations to last week's first Tiara Pick - Skeletnwmn!… Read full post »

The Poor Sod came in a little late one day after work. I didn't think much of it, until I s… Read full post »

"I'm going to the cottage for a few days," I announced last fall.

"Great," replied Ari, then 14. "When do we leave?"

"No, I'm going. Not you. You are going to school."

"Why can't we come?"

Because I want to sleep in. Because… Read full post »

If this doesn't make you smile, there's just something not right in your head. Scanner was… Read full post »

My dad died 13 years ago this week, which I guess means my grief is officially a teenager.

A lot of things change in 13 years.

Grandchildren grow up. When Christopher… Read full post »

Oh, my.

To my knowledge, nobody here in OS has ever deleted any of my comments. I have never deleted any on my blog, because I figured the whole point, generally, is for interaction and response. If everyone uses their indoor voices and stays pretty much on topic, it's good. My… Read full post »

I am a big fan of anything that keeps the lines of communication open between me and my sons' teachers. I love the immediacy of email, and I know it addresses and contends with two things rather well: too many trips to the school to meet with a teacher, and too… Read full post »

 Now........don't you all want to look as fabulous as Kathy Riordan, last week's Tiara Pick winner?

Tejano  I steer clear of politics in these parts - though I am unabashadly political - for a couple of reasons. As a Canadian, it is sometimes suggested that we are mere voyeurs. Which… Read full post »

 Dr. Jack Kevorkian was released a couple of years back after serving eight years in prison for helping a terminally ill man end his life. At the same time, the RCMP finally stopped considering charges against a Canadian man who took his dying wife to a suicide clinic in Switzerland. Definitions… Read full post »

"How come you never buy anything good?"

I spend a fortune on groceries. I shop at No Frills, and when I see other people dashing into Whole Foods with a long list, I shudder. I'm sure their children will have stronger bones and clearer eyes and longer lives than mine. I… Read full post »

I remember a couple of years back when  Pamela Anderson turned 40. Of course, there was a very large asterisk under that statement, because only a few parts of her actually turned 40. She said she felt great about it. I think she should. Even without a pit crew stripping me… Read full post »

"Stay away from the tar!"… Read full post »

 Shaggylocks was named my first Tiara Pick. I would like a round of applause for not just his terrific work, but also his good sportsmanship in… Read full post »

Two summer ago, when I was yanking my hair out in handfuls over the exasperating antics of my then 15-year-old son Christopher, a woman far wiser than me told me not to judge my own child. “Watch through others’ eyes; it’s the only way you’ll see your son clearly,” she t… Read full post »

My father used to collect things. This is the polite way to say it after someone has died, because my mother always told me you don't speak ill of the dead.

When my father was alive, my mother used to tell him to throw out all that rubbish. 'That… Read full post »