If this doesn't make you smile, there's just something not right in your head. Scanner was awarded the (apparently coveted) magic tiara last week for his engaging contributions to OS. As decided by me. Which pretty much makes this a dictatorship. I think he wears it well, and his debut post wearing it is just darling.  I may actually make a post like that a qualification, now that I think about it. And if doesn't make you all want to win the tiara, well, there's something wrong with your wanter.

Moving right along....

rice paddie broke my heart with her post about her missing Dad. Yes, I have a heart. You can hear the quiet tears in every line of this piece. If you have a daughter,  guys, call her, now.

SmilingPenelope got a tattoo. Because she's a grown up woman with a grown up life, her concerns were exactly what mine would have been. What would her parents think?  I actually found Penelope a few weeks back with this post of hers. Some posters in here you need to trundle along with to get to know them, and Penelope is one of them. There's a kindness here that I really like.

I am shallow, shallow, shallow. When I saw that scupper  had put up a poster from Tombstone in this post, I just kinda sat there drooling over Sam Elliott, and forgot to make dinner. Love me some Sam Elliott. Anyway gives her head a shake, dig around in any of scupper's work - awesome way with words. Like I'd like to have my way with Sam Elliott. Sorry. I'm back. Read any of her posts (they don't all have Sam Elliott); I like rumbling through her day with her. She doesn't know I'm doing it, which makes it kind of creepy, come to think of it, but if Sam Elliott doesn't mind, why should scupper?

Torman, thank you for the best visual of the week. A poor lad strapped into a harnass in place of a mule. I know I shouldn't laugh. But if you don't want me to laugh, don't write these stories;)

I've asked you nicely to discover Writer to the Stars. You don't have to listen to me. But you should. Start at her first post; she's brilliant, and when you realize what she's writing about, I dare you to undo your seatbelt for even a moment. This is a ride - an extraordinary, heartfelt, heartbreaking ride. Oh, and did I mention she's laugh out loud funny?

 Ranjit Souri has been posting these cool little pieces that I didn't see until I tripped over them. It's how I find the best stuff, actually, like my good tweezers, the moccassins I thought I'd put in the Donation bag by mistake, and the charger for the cell phone. My house is a mess, what can I say. Anyway. Ranjit reads books (and good ones, too) and jots down his three favourite lines from them. It's a cool premise. I do it in my head, then go to sleep where my memory is scrubbed clean each night. I would like to give Ranjit a list of books for his reading pleasure, just to see what he comes up with. Go take a peek; it's kind of cool.

I've put scoubido in here before, because his short story work is sensational. But this post should be of particular interest to anyone who dreams of writing for magazines (which is all of you, near as I can tell, so no excuses for not heading over there). F**ck You, Alan Rodger, or, My Magazine Hell is personal.

Frank Indiana is writing an insightful, heartbreak series on his wife's cancer battle. If you're not caught up, please start at the beginning. He's writing in third person, but it's as close as it gets.

I missed this in my reckless abandon to be working. I adore this piece from Duaneart, and the picture is gorgeous. Sigh. I wish there were more Duanes on the planet. Say it with me, ladies...

All About the Pretty: I struggle with photography. Part of my job (the one I get paid for, not the endless brain farting hours I spend in here blinking into dark corners and wondering if anyone is home) requires me to take photos. I am really, really not good at it. I have more pictures of my feet, my dashboard and where something used to be a second ago than anything else. But we have some wonderful photogs in here who cheer me up.

AtHomePilgrim always gives us a nice mix of words and pictures. Please pop by for some really lovely photos. Thank you.

Gorgeous, gorgeous work from Kris T Parker. What are you waiting for? Click! It's magnificent! Even if you've seen them before, go look again - snow won't be long.

While I know that  bbd - aka Barry - needs no introduction to many of you (he has a book! it's awesome!), there is no way I'm not gonna tag his gorgeous pictures in here when I'm advertising bringing you the pretty.

kmbearden - I absolutely love foggy pictures, like these. They're so mystical, so magical. I took some once of an old bridge. My editor asked I'd smeared lip gloss on my lens by mistake. Not so mystical.

Coyote Old Style - has some really lovely work here, but after you look at the pictures, go ahead a post and read a really beautiful  poem for her daughter. Now, poetry haters, turn off that eyeroll. It's short and sweet, and there is something in these few short stanzas that will tweak something in anyone who's ever been a parent. Or a child. There. Gotcha.

 T. Michael Stone  is in fine story weaving form here with Junk Man - hear the echos of King, when King is good. I know, I know, when he's off he sucks hard, but when he's on, he's terrific. Stone is on. And this is about him, not King, so read it. Please.

Because you are now in the mood for another kick-back, grab-a-coffee read, please don't miss Greg Correll's  piece. It's fierce. It's tight. And it'll kind of collapse your lungs a little.

Welcome to the Bio-Sphere.

Some of the best writing in here is in the little bits you see, but overlook, every day. Admit it: when you sat there with the cursor blinking in the 'bio' section, you wondered just what the hell you could thread on the hook that would make everyone jump. I am thrilled that there is no formula. Some of my favourites are a single line; some are a little story. I just stole mine from a far better writer, because I'm lazy as sin. The following landed me in the boat; there are many, many more, but I'm tired and crabby. Oh, and here's the thing: when (not 'if'; see how I trust you little monkeys?) you go to visit their blogs, stay and kick a few tires, pull up a chair. See how tired I am? I'm mixing metaphors as fast as I was mixing G&Ts last night.

 Tequila & Donuts - There's a reason it's easy to love Deven. Well, there are many. But her economy with words it a gift, and I'm glad she keeps giving it to us.

Jeff Howe - I laugh out loud at the last line of this bio, every single time I read it.

Asta Charles - when I read this, I feel like Ms. Charles is sticking her tongue out at me. This cracks me up, because I have a weird little life.

Tom Pantera - I admit it. Mostly because I looooove Fargo. Anyone who cites Fargo is okay in my book.

Jeremiah Horrigan -  you know how sometimes you read something and you just wish it was over already? Like one of my posts? Jeremiah's is the exact opposite.

benjamin-the-donkey   Well....he's right.

iamsurly - Surly is the epitome of one of my favourite quotes, by Alice Roosevelt Longworth:  "If you can't say anything good about someone, sit right here by me." I would like to sit by Surly. But she'd probably push me off the bench lunging for one of my sons.

Monsieur Chariot  - Now here is a guy who could flip you off with such aplomb, you'd be half way around the block before you'd realize you'd been dissed. A true artiste.

 Yablonowitz - what about half (I say that conservatively - the only time that'll happen) the people in here would like to write.

Tinkertink69 - he might be in my closet drinking milk, but I'd never find him. I never hang anything up. I'm a slob.

Joe Citizen - look, I'm a sucker for Mr. Potato Head, which means I'll show up for the free wine but stay for the toys. But reading the quote with this bio by Dr. Seuss, I realized it sums up OS perfectly.

Tiara Picks! I need to find some appropriate music for this part. I really do. To keep you on your toes, I'm going to do something a little different this week. I am awarding two tiaras. It's not that it was a tie, it's just that I watched a relative newcomer jump in with both feet and enjoy herself so damned much, I just want to give her one. She laughed and played and got along so well with others, that skeletnwmn gets a tiara because I said so.

For outstanding work this week (and every week), Frank Indiana wins a Tiara. I'm hoping he will play along, and allow me to grace his fierce avatar with an tiara. I will chose an appropriately masculine one. Though that is what I promised Scanner, and look how that turned out.

 Anyhoo. This honour, should you choose to partake, requires skeletnwmn and Frank Indiana to just kick me over their avatar shot (or equivalent glamour photography pic) and I'll do the rest. Well, that's a lie I don't do the rest. I have a tiara fairy who does the rest.PM me for an address, or send to my website. That's listed under my avatar. Don't be lazy.

Bit-o-Business - had a wee toss about in these parts this week. Got going on etiquette questions once again, this time the Hamlet Issue: To Delete, or Not to Delete. I proposed to a newcomer (no, not like that, I'm not the marrying kind) that deleting my comment was shocking. Shocking, I tell you. Now, as a rule, I don't know nor care if someone deletes comments. But if I am aware that someone doesn't like my particular brand of insight/elegance/commentary, I'll take my comment and go play elsewhere. But this lad put up a post I found disturbing, cruel, rude, hateful and generally disrespectful to women. And then he called it satire. Or comedy. Or some other mislabel. All I did was say 'I don't think so'. Just like that. You all know I'm gentle as a lamb. When he nuked it, I needed to bring my disbelief somewhere, so I brought it my blog.

King of Comedy pulled his post, which was kinda sissy, and blamed his wife's friends for urging him to post it here. Yeah. It's their fault. Whatever. Anyway. I discovered a couple of things: I really should keep my thoughts to myself, perhaps. And two? Flame wars are a bit of fun when everyone is in a chippy mood.

Have a great weekend, everyone. Go to Freaky's, vote early and vote often...you're officially part of the world's leakiest democracy;) . I did send her a rather threatening pic of me in boxing gloves (cuz the troll was getting all the screen time) but it appears she thinks we can take this with one pudgy troll arm tied behind her back. Let me know if anything good breaks out here. I need sleep.

And no, John Blumenthal, even though you sent me that photo of you in your sexy cat Halloween costume, you're still not in here.

 Bring it on, Blumenthal. If I get tired, I'm passing the gloves to O'Really...