There is something hiding out there as fiction and presenting itself as fact. Better yet, what do Colin Powell, Michael Douglas, Donald Trump, General Portrayas, and President Obama have in common with the historical event called The Story of Us? Not a damn thing. But Bank of America hired the History Channel to do a job and they did it and left us with a little history 101 sandwiched between more history of Bank of America or the Story of Them. Little Suzy or Johnny might just think the republic got its start as a checking account.

The first clue was Donald Trump telling us about our colonials. Then of course Tom Brokaw rolled in with a few comments about how Americans don't turn the other cheek. Then the computery graphics started rollin' and our history became Avatarfied with flying Minnie balls slowed down between raspicallian tales of George Washington's spies and our guerrilla type tactics on those poor redcoats. All true enough.

But then what happened was just awhile we were watching our history we then started watching the history of Bank of America told in the SAME WAY. They had the history of the bank and the same actors and the same music and the same Americana light and then whamo there was Bank of American drawing a line between our patriotic heroism and the establishment of their Bank. They do this two or three times and you keep thinking you are watching our history when you are watching theirs. Then they brought in a couple more hired hacks,. Military men and movie stars, to back up their claim of being one hell of a bank. Guess they were feelin' a might guilty about all their stingy lending after getting all that TARP money.

Then bam! We are back in our history, but it is not a Ken Burns history but more like a history you got in grade school where in one page you went from the Jamestown to the Revolution to the Civil War. The  speed of this docudrama fairly took your breath away and then slamo we are back into another Bank of America commercial without a break and there we are staring at people in the streets of Philly again and Bank of America logo is breaking down and flying through history and then reconstituting itself back into the Logo. It sort of took your breath away.

And how they got the President to lead this thing off I don't know. Maybe cuz they hired the History Channel or maybe since he gave them their TARP money maybe he wanted to make sure they would lend a little since they aren't lending any to these patriotic Americans they champion. And then just as fast as the CGE began it ended and our whitewash of history was over. Guess it's time to go open a checking account and prepare for next weeks episode of the The Story of Them.

William Hazelgrove is the Hemingway writer in residence for the Ernest Hemingway Foundation. He has written four novels, reviews and features for USA TODAY and been the subject of stories in the NY Times, LA Times, Chicago Tribune, USA Today, and NPR'S All Things Considered. His forthcoming novel is Rocket Man. More information can be gathered at  http://www.billhazelgrove.com