As Mitt Romney begins his general election battle against President Barack Obama, intrepid reporters and pundits have stumbled across something about him that should terrify us all – Mitt Romney hates cookies.

Recently, in Pittsburgh, Romney insulted cookies from Bethel Bakery. This… Read full post »

 

MASSACHUSETTS — After essentially sewing up the GOP nomination this week, Mitt Romney has begun the long process of connecting with the American public. Earlier this week, Romney strengthened his appeal with women by… Read full post »

Acts of violence by men against women do not begin with the act of violence itself. But whether it be upbringing or societal factors, there is always one factor that remains the same in every act of male violence against woman – the presence of a man willing… Read full post »

When I saw that Shia LeBeouf told the media that he had "hooked up" with Megan Fox, I was not surprised. After all, I have hooked up with him, as well

Yes, friends, I, noted comma user, William K. Wolfrum, have hooked up Shia LeBeouf.

The first time was… Read full post »

As the clock struck zero and the NBA Finals ended, the national sports media found itself forced to focus solely on the Dallas Mavericks. The time for analyzing and re-analyzing Lebron James and the star-studded Miami Heat had come to an end. There was a new champion… Read full post »

 

MINNESOTA – A wayward elf that froze to death in the snow last December has challenged the entire GOP Presidential Field to a debate on the U.S. Constitution, sources close to the Dead Elf say.

“He’s pretty confident. Or IT is pretty confident,” said… Read full post »

HEAVEN – Following a staggering donation to the Heaven Fund, the Koch Brothers will now have final say on who gets Raptured. sources tell this reporter.

David and Charles Koch – who combined are worth $43.5 billion – recently made headlines when it was learned that they had… Read full post »

As America celebrates President Barack Obama's birth certificate as well as Osama bin Laden's new eye hole, one bit of news managed to get by that will likely have a bigger effect on the U.S. - Chrysler announced a profit:

Chrysler has posted its first quarterly net profit

… Read full post »

In the United States of America - where only 75 people have ever traveled abroad (note: possibly not a factual statement) - the State Department has decided to pepper new passport applicants with questions that are both increasingly private in nature and, well, just plain annoying.

From… Read full post »

Just moments after not being able to win back custody of his kids from a wife in rehab, Charlie Sheen shocked the world by coyly mentioning he may consider a run at the White House.

“I know I promised this wouldn’t be political, but look where we f— are,… Read full post »

There was nothing the least bit brave about Paul Ryan’s GOP budget that would slash the social safety net and enrich the already rich. Ryan’s work – like all his work – is partisan cowardice based on a long-held Conservative strategy – Starve the Beast.

Of course, this i… Read full post »

 

 

WASHINGTON, D.C. – Using his bare hands, Republican Rep. Paul Ryan choked an 85-year-old woman to death last night, earning praise for his “serious” attempt to balance the United States Federal Budget.

The woman – Susan Johnson, the mother of five… Read full post »

TWITTER - Twitter users of all political stripes were covered in a layer of Liberal goo on the site today, as Liberals from throughout the United States simultaneously exploded and gooified the joint following the rapid-fire news that Glenn Beck was leaving his Fox News program and that… Read full post »

 

PIERRE, S.D. — South Dakota governor Dennis Daugaard signed a bill into law on Tuesday that requires a man to wait 72 hours after his first doctor's appointment to be allowed to masturbate, the longest waiting list in the nation.

Male Masturbation rights groups… Read full post »

I am a feminist. I understand that some may argue with that or claim I am a poor example of a feminist - I am far from perfect in this self-assessment. But I do understand the movement, and at very least work to be a feminist ally.

I… Read full post »

WASHINGTON – Having taken criticism for not attempting any job-related legislation after campaigning on the issue, Speaker of the House John Boehner announced today that Republicans around the nation have been creating jobs with anti-abortion legislation.

“Some say we’re atta… Read full post »

HARRISBURG, Pa — After years of fielding complaints that he had not taken a hard enough stance against Westboro Baptist Church and its hate speech, Almighty God today unleashed what onlookers have described as a “shitload of smiting” against the controversial group that just… Read full post »

DES MOINES – Having declared that their current budgetary path is “unsustainable,” Bob & Peggy Thompson of Des Moines today announced that they will be cutting the $1-a-week allowance they give to their 5-year-old child, Jessica.

“Having gone over our current… Read full post »

Q: What do the NBA, Major League Baseball, PGA Tour, NFL, Major League Soccer and NHL have in common?

A: Spacious closets.

Yes, friends, the six biggest male professional sports leagues in America share one major thing – not a single one its athletes is openly gay.… Read full post »

Sam Antar, one of the architects of the “Crazy Eddie” fraud of the 1980s, has examined the current state of politics and has made an important decision - He's going back to crime.

After the SEC took down the Crazy Eddie's scam, Antar has spent his time working as… Read full post »

Noted blogger and journalist William K. Wolfrum resigned today after the Web Site Gawker ran incriminating and racy photos and text that he had sent to an unidentified woman on Craigslist.

"It has been a tremendous honor to serve the people of the world as a blogger.… Read full post »

David Broder stared out his office window. His calmness had an eerie quality to it, a feel that there was anger just underneath. This was a man obviously smarting from the closing of the Centrist Democratic Leadership Council, and it showed. Still staring out the window,/…

Read full post »

Each year around this time, I’m contacted by a small cadre of political bloggers looking to push something they call “Blogroll Amnesty Day.” The idea behind this day is for big, important, A-List, nationally recognized bloggers like myself to give out links to small, unimp… Read full post »

WASHINGTON – After making campaign promises that they’d cut as much as $150 billion from the U.S. budget, Congressional Republicans could only come up with $32 billion in savings for the remainder of fiscal 2011, a move likely to anger their Tea Party base. However,… Read full post »