I’m heterosexual – Wow, do I have a lot of rights
My friends, I have long withheld this information, as I’ve long believed that my sexuality is no one’s business but my own. However, after seeing recent studies and news reports, I believe that now is the perfect time to come forward and admit what so many have long believed:
I am heterosexual. And let me tell you something, it’s freakin’ fantastic.
Now, I know all about Gay & Lesbian pride. The LGBT community is proud of who they are, and they at least have that right. But seriously, I’m not trying to gloat here, but being a heterosexual kicks ass. If there is a right available, I have it. I’m hetero, and like the Founding Fathers wanted, I win.
Before you get angry at me for bragging, let’s just go through some simple facts that prove being a heterosexual is like winning the lottery of rights, benefits and advantages:
I got to marry the person I love; I can’t be fired from my job for being heterosexual; I never was thrown out of school for being my heterosexual self; If I was in the military, I could openly discuss my sexuality and not be fired; Mormons will never rally together to deny me anything; The Pope will never denounce me for being heterosexual; I get every Social Security benefit available; My marriage is accepted in all 50 states; My heterosexuality would never get in the way of my ability to adopt; No one will commit violence against me, or murder me for being heterosexual. Entertainers don’t insult me or incite violence against me for being heterosexual;
Hell, there’s a lot more things my heterosexuality gets me. I didn’t even include the more than 1,000 rights and benefits bestowed upon me for being allowed to marry. Did you know that my Spouse’s flower sales count towards meeting the eligibility for Fresh Cut Flowers and Fresh Cut Greens Promotion and Information Act? Or that I have the Right to continue living on land purchased from my spouse by the National Park Service when easement is granted to my spouse? Neither did I, but I have those rights, as well.
Oh yeah, and I’ll save roughly $400,000 by being heterosexual.
Basically, being a heterosexual means I have so many more rights than gays & lesbians that there are a shitload of rights and benefits I have that I don’t even use or need. And I don’t have to march, protest or fight for any of them.
So my friends, you better recognize. I have more rights, less expenses, less chance of being beaten, less chance of being disowned by family, and tons of other benefits, rights and advantages. Because I fell in love with, and desire a person of the opposite sex. For this, my life is clearly better than anyone who is gay or lesbian.
The United States has made it clear – I am heterosexual and my life is better than the lives of gays and lesbians because of it. And, in the end, isn’t that what being American and living in the land of the free all about?
–WKW
Crossposted at William K. Wolfrum Chronicles
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ThinkingViolet
UncleChri
another steve s
Susan Wade Edwards
Progressive Liberal
john blumenthal
Salon.com
Comments
Bill
This is one of them! You buried your point home. Great job.
Nicely done, sir . . . nicely done.
I can't help feeling for the few who are, by birth and status, lesbian and, say, African American both. No stigma like the old guard's fav's, eh?
Personally, there's another social stigma, that of being female and on your own. Add to that having been impaired, and you'll soon find you have no place in society--regardless of natural preference. Then add the additional ( and always insidious) stigma of being well over 35, and one gets to be on the low end of the totem pole for sure.
Food for thought in our so-called era of enlightened choices.....
America the free??? Guess we're still working toward that aim....
Rated
Well done! (r)
I was amused, and impressed. This might just get through to a few folks who have tuned out the "gays going on about their rights" articles and soundbites in the news.
(I realized I just used "folks" twice in two paragraphs, and I never do that. WFT?)
i find the basic lack of rights and protections infuriating at times, but for me the worst part has been being treated completely differently by family. it was a huge deal for me to wed my froggy wife, but our union has been completely ignored by my entire family (while at the same time i watch my heterosexual siblings, cousins and even my (twice-married)mother being showered with congratulations and encouragement) this has hurt me in a way that i didn't know possible. i don't give a shit about presents... a simple acknowledgement of this rite of passage, this finding of someone to share my life with... i suppose i was naive to expect it, but i did.
sorry for the silly 3:45am personal rant. your piece set aspark a painful piece of tender in me. life is wonderful in general, but sometimes it really sucks to be gay...
merci beaucoup... you rock, in my book!
melx
Sex is a private matter, what you do in private when there is nothing good on TV. It is not the be-all or end-all of existence. It is something less than a preoccupation and more than an avocation. Most people in this country lead asexual lives. Let's leave it that way and shut up about it before we have to learn more new words.
Amazing!
Very thought-provoking and eye-opening - I mean eye-opening in the sense that now straight people know that they have 400,000 dollars more than the Gay.
There is one point I do not agree with: When you write: "Mormons will never rally together to deny me anything" you are perpetuating a falsehood. In the words of the article you link to:
"Frank Schubert and Jeff Flint of Schubert Flint Public Affairs wrote about how they got Proposition 8 passed in California. Their conclusion: Members of the Mormon faith played an important part of the Yes on 8 coalition, but were only a part of our winning coalition. We had the support of virtually the entire faith community in California. Prop 8 didn’t win because of the Mormons. It won because we created superior advertising that defined the issues on our terms; because we built a diverse coalition; and, most importantly, because we activated that coalition at the grassroots level in a way that had never before been done.” (Quoted from the Feb.2009 issue of Politics magazine)
The facts as I understand them are:
1. Mormons comprise barely 2% of the population in California.
2. The bulk of the votes for prop. 8 came from the African American and Catholic communities.
3. Yes, I am a member. That's why I've spent so much time researching and analyzing this issue and the publicity surrounding it.
Also, I hold that the anti-Prop. 8 activists have incorrectly made the assertion that the complete re-definition of the word "Marriage" with respect to BOTH Church AND State is somehow an absolute necessity as touches the civil rights of gay and lesbian couples. I respectfully disagree.[in fact, you don't have to look long before you find those in the gay and lesbian community who also disagree]
Should gay and lesbian couples have the same civil, legal and personal rights, status, and obligations as married heterosexual couples? Of course! Absolutely! These can easily be asserted, established, and enforced by the states WITHOUT changing the meaning of "Marriage". Equivalency does NOT require the
redefinition of a word!
The bottom line here is this: You can't have it BOTH ways. Either the doctrine of religious freedom established in the 1st amendment applies as so many have so loudly asserted for so long; Or, a new precedent must be set that would create more problems than it would solve.