William K. Wolfrum's Blog

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APRIL 13, 2012 10:05AM

Breaking: Mitt Romney makes a Black friend

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Mitt Romney shares a laugh with new Black friend "Herman."


MASSACHUSETTS — After essentially sewing up the GOP nomination this week, Mitt Romney has begun the long process of connecting with the American public. Earlier this week, Romney strengthened his appeal with women by having wife Ann tell the world that her life is just like theirs and that she doesn’t even feel wealthy despite a family fortune of a quarter-billion dollars.

With the women vote taken care of, Romney has now moved on to another potential electoral weakness – African-Americans. After a recent story came out that showed Romney has no African-Americans on his staff, the former governor came out today announcing that he had recently made a Black friend.

“I met a guy named Herman earlier this year, and let me tell you, he’s just a delight,” said Romney. “He’s really one of the good ones.”

Romney’s new friend “Herman” is a businessman and amateur economist. Romney said that he will use his new friend to keep him updated on the needs of African-Americans.

“More than once, Herman and I have sat down for a traditional African-American meal of pizza,” said Romney. “I really will depend on him to let me know about the needs of the African-American community.”

Reached for comment, “Herman” said that Romney will be a better friend to African-Americans than President Barack Obama, and that Romney’s economic plans will create opportunities for Blacks.

“I believe these words came from the Pokémon movie,” said Herman. “Life can be a challenge, life can seem impossible, it’s never easy when there is so much on the line. But you and I can make a difference.”

With the women and African-American issues out of the way, Romney said he will now focus the rest of his campaign on real Americans, noting that he already has close experience with Mexican-Americans, having employed hundreds of them over the years to mow his lawn and clean his pool.


Crossposted at William K. Wolfrum Chronicles

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mitt romney, satire

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“He’s really one of the good ones.”

Please tell me he didn't really say that.
OK...I see it's satire. I'll stop having a seizure now.
Ha! I had to pick myself up off the floor too, Mimetalker. ~r
Pizza is a traditional African-American meal?
Sharp take and spot on.
Actually, Romney's advance man in Massachusetts was for many years an African-American. He had a better record of promoting blacks in government than many Democrats, who reserve well-paid government positions for whites--Irish and Italians. Prime example: Tom Finnernan, one of our three consecutive Democratic speakers of the House who was indicted for perjury in a federal court case. The subject of his lie? A redistricting plan that would have decreased minority representation.
You know.. a lot of people let clinton slide right by with the whole monica thing citing how much of a wonderful president he was. And, I agree, Clinton was a good president... with flaws. The same goes for anyone else in politics with problems in the personal/relationship category. So, the title to this? I thought *puhleez*
Laugh all you want, spew your satirical garbage. The reality is that Romney/Cain are at least trying to reach out to those that don't/won't vote their way. Obama is the POTUS that represents 1/2 the people all the time. Secondly, regardless of their wealth and success, their life stories are much easier to relate to than Obama's. I didn't spend formative years in foreign lands, nobody paid my way through college, let alone Harvard, and nobody gave my wife a 300% raise when I became a Senator.
Ah, so Romney's paid trolls are as verbally challenged as their boss. That's not surprising. But anyway...look, kicking Herman Cain when he's down and disparaged by his own party is just cruel. It's not like Cain was allowed into Mitt's private party, where he talked about eliminating mortgage tax deductions and destroying most of the government. You know, as reported in Real Salon today.

Truth is, Mitt isn't going to employ his former opponents. And their pledges of "loyalty" at the convention will mean nothing. They'll backstab Mr. Magic Underpants at every opportunity.
Traditional african-american meal of pizza? Oh, Romney.. One of those people who thinks whites rescued blacks from the best MUD of Africa.
This is too good. I guess some people are missing the satire part entirely.
Anything anyone says can, and quite often is, turned into something that sounded stupid or silly. It depends on the characters of the one who brings it up. That is the most often used tool by liberals: when they can't give some valuable points, or statistics, or facts, they show how "smart" they are by putting the opponents down. Or they think that they put them down. As one smart man ones said: never confuse a mean spirit with simple stupidity. This post is a great example of the latest.
Obama's policies have helped send more blacks onto the unemployment line than any other president. There's some Change for ya.
Sharp satire, made me laugh. Keep up the good work.For those who have stated that Obama's was policies have put more black people in the unemployment than any other president. What hogwash! The majority of black people I've talked to have a great empathy with him because they know what a load of crap that was on his plate when he became president. Blacks don't have much empathy with Republicans because Republicans really don't care what happens to blacks economically or otherwise. Oh and by the way I'm from a family that is part of the 1% and there isn't a Republican in the family.
Mauricio are you going to talk about all of your black friends now?

Facts say blacks have never had such a tough time finding work as they have under Obama.