William K. Wolfrum's Blog

Editor’s Pick
APRIL 13, 2012 10:05AM

Breaking: Mitt Romney makes a Black friend

Mitt Romney shares a laugh with new Black friend "Herman."

 

MASSACHUSETTS — After essentially sewing up the GOP nomination this week, Mitt Romney has begun the long process of connecting with the American public. Earlier this week, Romney strengthened his appeal with women by… Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
MAY 17, 2011 10:29AM

Koch Brothers donations give them final say on the Rapture

HEAVEN – Following a staggering donation to the Heaven Fund, the Koch Brothers will now have final say on who gets Raptured. sources tell this reporter.

David and Charles Koch – who combined are worth $43.5 billion – recently made headlines when it was learned that they had… Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
APRIL 5, 2011 11:02AM

South Dakota gets longest male masturbation waiting period

  man-frustrated

PIERRE, S.D. — South Dakota governor Dennis Daugaard signed a bill into law on Tuesday that requires a man to wait 72 hours after his first doctor's appointment to be allowed to masturbate, the longest waiting list in the nation.

Male Masturbation rights groups… Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
MARCH 1, 2011 12:58PM

An Anonymous storm is gathering - Let it rain

 

"Anonymous is not the name of an organization. In fact, "organization" is

Read full post »
Editor’s Pick
FEBRUARY 6, 2011 9:45PM

Blogroll Amnesty Day is Un-American

Blogroll Amnesty Day

Each year around this time, I’m contacted by a small cadre of political bloggers looking to push something they call “Blogroll Amnesty Day.” The idea behind this day is for big, important, A-List, nationally recognized bloggers like myself to give out links to small, unimp… Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
FEBRUARY 1, 2011 7:51AM

Federal Judge Rules Capitalism Unconstitutional

AMERICA – A Federal Court in Florida has struck down Capitalism, ruling that the requirement for individuals to live under any type of economic system is unconstitutional.

U.S. District Judge Roger Vinson in his judgment ruled that the so-called economic system known as capitalism exceeds c… Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
JANUARY 24, 2011 1:23PM

We White Men are a theoretically oppressed majority

My friends, for many years, I have lived a life of divine privilege. By birthright, I was special – white as all get out and as male as could be. Basically, I hit the genetic lottery, and grew to be secure in the fact that all rights available/…

Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
JANUARY 21, 2011 2:00PM

Caffeine-Free Diet Pepsi: The World's Worst Thing

Having spent more time lately in the U.S., one thing has become abundantly clear - Caffeine-Free Diet Pepsi is the nastiest beverage ever created. If ever there was a product that proved that American ingenuity is dead, it's Caffeine-Free Diet Pepsi.

My theory on how Caffeine-Free Diet Pepsi was crea… Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
DECEMBER 6, 2010 7:16PM

Santa Claus: "Giving away toys kills the poors' work ethic"

NORTH POLE - Looking trim following lap-band surgery, Santa Claus held a press conference today to announce a fundamental change in his long-time tradition of giving toys to good children.

Intent on cutting costs as well as teaching ideological lessons, Claus, 43, said that the time was… Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
DECEMBER 2, 2010 8:53AM

Julian Assange must die! For starters

Much has been said about Julian Assange and Wikileaks. The Australian-born hacker has put America in grave danger due to his publication of classified information that someone else stole.

And he must die.

Yes, my friends, Assange is yet another person that America must kill… Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
NOVEMBER 12, 2010 10:21AM

Obama pre-emptively shuts down Government to appease GOP

WASHINGTON – Continuing his pattern of negotiating before being at the negotiating table, President Barack Obama shut down the Federal Government today.

“We must work together,” said Obama, on the 16th hole of Pebble Beach. “By shutting down the government right now, we&rsq… Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
OCTOBER 19, 2010 7:49AM

“Blowing Smoke” Blows Away Right-Wing Narratives

Following the election of Barack Obama to the office of President of the United States, writer Michael Wolraich surveyed the political aftermath and came to a simple conclusion – the Right-Wing has gone utterly mad.

Wolrich’s new book “Blowing Smoke” (longer title: “Blo… Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
OCTOBER 8, 2010 9:43AM

New Poll: 75% approval for Obama's White half

LINCOLN, Neb. — When it comes to Barack Obama, it’s all Black and White.

A new Chronicles Poll shows that Americans overwhelming approve of President Obama’s White half, while his Black half has approval ratings that rival Sarah Palin’s.

“Hell, I even like Obama&rsq… Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
SEPTEMBER 17, 2010 7:59AM

Restoring Masturbation Rally – Coming soon!

After Christine O’Donnell became the Delaware GOP Senate nominee, video emerged of her making the rounds more than a decade ago, preaching that people needed to avoid masturbation because “Lust in your heart is committing adultery.”

While one can applaud O’Donnell for fightin… Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
SEPTEMBER 13, 2010 3:50PM

Anti-Muslims protest Mosque to be built on top of Mosque

SEATTLE – “Do I need honor these people and pretend that they are worthy of the privileges of the First Amendment which I have in my gut the sense that they will abuse?” cried out Marty Peretz.

“Where are the peaceful Muslims?! Where are the peaceful Muslims?”… Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
SEPTEMBER 3, 2010 11:26AM

God shoots himself in Wynn Las Vegas Hotel Room

LAS VEGAS – The age old question – could God create a shotgun big enough to blow his own brains out? – has finally been answered. And that answer is, yes. Yes he can.

God was found dead yesterday at the Wynn Las Vegas of a self-inflicted… Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
JULY 22, 2010 3:35PM

Obama Death Squads, FEMA Camps must be liberal

A while back, in a discussion on Journolist, a group of us left-wing journalists got together and discussed how best we could help implement Barack Obama’s plans to send roving death squads after his opposition and how to best handle the FEMA Concentration CampsRead full post »
Editor’s Pick
MARCH 3, 2010 10:31AM

I’m heterosexual – Wow, do I have a lot of rights

My friends, I have long withheld this information, as I’ve long believed that my sexuality is no one’s business but my own. However, after seeing recent studies and news reports, I believe that now is the perfect time to come forward and admit what so many have long… Read full post »