William Vanderbilt Breay

• Add as Favorite
• Send message
• RSS

Location

Havana, Cuba

Birthday

April 14

Title

Personal Driver

Company

K.M. Breay - the esteemed writer, thinker and alpaca farmer (not in that order)

Bio

Earlier this calendar year, while riding the escalators at a popular shopping mall in downtown Zurich, I was detained by a security man and erroneously accused of 'moping with intent to gawk.' Even though my legal team was successful in getting the false charges dropped, the Swiss tabloids relentlessly besmirched my character and drove my approval ratings into the low single digits, where they had not been since the early nineteen hundred and eighties. In order to maintain a lower profile, my public relations team advised me to resign my position as head cashier at the flagship Circuit City store in suburban Zurich; which, against my better judgement, I did at an early morning press conference in March of this calendar year. Immediately thereafter, I fell into a viscous depression, which gripped me by the jugular for several black ivory weeks. I am not embarrassed to admit that I could not even bath or defecate without holding my father's cat Puddles close to my bosom, even though it is difficult to bath and defecate while holding a cat to your bosom, even one as dainty and agreeable as Puddles. And then on Secretary's Day of this calendar year my luminous dawn appeared in the form of a Western Union telegram, sent by my Uncle K.M. Breay - the esteemed writer, thinker and Alpaca farmer -who ordered me to join him in Havana and work as his personal automobile driver. His assistant Trevor Auchincloss VI arrived on horseback the following morning and hand delivered a one-way, coach class, no meals provided Southwest Airlines plane aviation ticket. I arrived in Havana before noonday this morning and was greeted at the plane aeropuerto by my uncle's longtime assistant man, Trevor Auchincloss VI, who took my Louis Vuitton bags, photographed my Dutch passaporte and then handed me a chrome automobile key and told me to fire up the Escalade.