One of the most shameful things I must confess about myself has been my total lack of interest in my financial well-being.  Fortunately I'm sort of like Jerry Seinfeld in that episode when he always comes out even.  

 My parents were born in the '30s to two gambling grandfathers (ahhh...the addiction no one could relate too--well, it didn't help my parents and it was particularly hard on the brilliant grandmothers stuck with men who lost the family money over and over again.)  My father made/makes a good living but wasn't into investing (he once bragged that the only stock he bought eventually went down to 1 cent a share).  Neither parent bought on credit.  Dad was reasonably well off--mom was poor, but she pinched pennies and managed to get by.

Me?  Well, I heard them talk about money as I grew up.  Mom didn't work and dad resented paying her alimony and child support.  He had lots of nice stuff--she didn't.  She wallowed in her poverty and I hated it, but I didn't understand at the time the degree that she was mentally ill.   Lack of money was the least sad thing about her sad story.  My father and stepmother were so blatant and vocal about mom not deserving any money, they were selfish and heartless.  My father has had little interaction with my sisters and I since we became adults and barely helped two of us go to college.  My role models modeled being "evil capitalist" except for the oppressed, abused and neglected parent who modeled being helpless and hopeless.  

This is a good way to learn that money is bad (but it wasn't money's fault my parents were like that--that's another story.)

Added to this family financial education--nothing about how to use money, how  to get it, to grow it, but lots of bad messages about having any--I grew up in the 60s and 70s.  Peace, love, brown rice and communes, man.   Fuck the establishment, we'll all just live on love and goodwill.  And after living with those folks you really want God to poor on the goodwill and love--and you'd be surprised how far that can take you.

There was a short window of time when I was in junior high school when I wanted to be a dentist--so I could make a lot of money.  But then my dad got me a job that summer at my dentist's (I developed x-rays and sterilized instruments) and I found out that it isn't pleasant to look in mouths all day.  The money just wouldn't be worth it.

 All of my other vocational interests haven't any factored-in big money-making aspects.  I've worked for environmental groups, I worked as a small neighborhood newspaper reporter, I did a bit of P.R. and some copywriting and, for many years now, teaching.

So what was the point of this post?  I'm laughing now.  Pay day is coming up and I have a bit to save this month.  I have a bit of debt to pay off--but nothing scary.  My 2001 Corolla will be paid off soon--I wonder how many years before it hits 400,000 mi.  I'm curious about that.  I'm not poor, I'm not rich.  I'm just right.

This post was initiated in response to a post about capitalism.  Systems aren't evil.  Human nature is selfish but can be kind and generous.  It's a choice how to behave.  It has nothing to do with "the system."  If we choose to believe we have no value unless we have stuff, we are mistaken. That's part of the reason we're in this mess.  We bought stuff without the money to pay for it.  Perhaps people were tricked, perhaps some were enticed--and yeah, there were those who tricked others.  But we did this together. Now the bill has come due.  It was because of what we did and what we let other people do.   The fault lies with us.