First of all, before I even begin, my 12 1/2 year old (who is fractions of an inch shorter than me--I am about to become a short person, something I never dreamed could happen to me) got me to leave this computer screen to...
"look at the sky!"
Ah sunset. All that orange after a totally overcast day here at the beach. (90s inland, folks. But only 68--and blanketed in gray all day here in Venice.) Makes for a gorgeous sunset.
I went and saw my shrink today after months of not seeing him.
I get the blues when school lets out (the kids were screaming in the halls a little over a week ago---yahoooo! No more school! I wonder if they are bored yet--probably not. But I know I'll be bored soon.)
Anyway, he's great, my doctor. I missed him. (Stopped seeing him just when the financial crisis hit.) Today I told him a dream and described some anxious behaviors I'd observed at work (the adults, not the kids. The kids are happy! happy! happy!---no school! Not even any summer school (there went my summer gig! ouch!))
I've worked to be more centered. I do yoga (don't laugh! I'm Califiornia born and breed and came of age in the 70s and 80s so it's only natural.) I thought that this school year I've kept my cool most of the time. The atmosphere at work this year was dark. We knew what was coming: cuts--deep cuts in education. By spring we knew we'd be losing two lovely Teach for America teachers (who've taken the "blow" as an opportunity of sorts.) They are wonderful women and much saner than most of the crew at my school.
I'm glad I've got a union and all, but something's got to give and what I kept hearing at work all year was that I needed to go to every board meeting to beg the board to magically save everyone's job, keep our salaries the same and preserve all our benefits. I needed to be walking outside school often to hold up signs and pass out flyers. And if the powers that be don't save all jobs and not cut anything I then needed to join the contingent that's on a hunger strike (this was started by some teachers who took the day off to get arrested as a protest because the union was stopped from going on strike for a day--something I voted to do and was willing to do.) Teachers needed to be out in force--life or death, constantly.
It's been hard to stay centered and be around the noise. (And I've left out the other day-to-day work drama.) It's not that I don't think it's worth fighting for public education. But (heresy) I wonder if my public school system is like a 128 year old on life support. You can only do so much...
Everyone is upset, I said to my shrink.
Yes. He replied. Everyone is.
Then I laughed. It's not funny. But it's true.
I commented on the for lease signs in the shops on every major street in LA.
Saturn and Uranus are in opposition--that's what you get, he said. (Now I know these conversations must happen in other places in the country--but it is sooooo California!)
Old things need to die and make way for the new.
I'll try to keep boredom at bay this summer. There are sunsets to see, bike rides to take and hikes to hike. I need to find something cool for my younger son to do. (The older one is taking an Anthropology class at the local community college.)
I'm trying to write in long blocks each day, I told the doctor. I'm just taking things where they lead me.
You could write a screenplay, he said.
Sooooo sooo LA!
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Comments
Even before the financial meltdown it seemed like we were barely willing to find the money necessary to pay the people who educate our kids. You'd think we'd place a higher priority on that, but no, we'd rather throw money into Iraq and Afghanistan, and pay banker's golden parachutes 0n the taxpayers dime, than try to do anything meaningful for our educational system.
Wait a minute, I'm sorry, I didn't plan on going into a rant when I began this comment. What I meant was; I hope you get the most out of your summer, some good bike riding, some good hikes, some good sunsets.
I meant the rant too though:P
god, i miss l.a. i miss Venice. is the Rose Cafe still there? i think about that place from time to time. i loved to read and write there. i lived in Park LaBrea and loved being so close to Melrose and the l.a. county museum. i did do some screenwriting.
have a lovely summer. treasure the beach. i miss it more than i could ever say. love love lvoe and gratitude
Nana, every spider makes me think of you! Thanks for the rant. I think it will all shake out (the education thing). To me this is a perfect time and opportunity to focus on having out-of-work adults spend more time with kids--and teach kids all kinds of things. But I'm not the prez.
Theodora- thanks for your kind words! I can't imagine not being near an ocean. When I lived inland I knew all the places you could be high enough to see the sun glittering on the Pacific (even from Pasadena--high above Pasadena!) And Park LaBrea--I love that part of town! That's a big part of my childhood.
NN: Thanks for coming by! I've been doing lots of lurking the past week or two. That was sort of a post of a expulsion of thoughts I've kept in. I'm ready for a long vacation! Hope yours is great too.
Without a doubt in my feeble opine,
A Mind ... like the one you conveyed,
shrinks should/must pay Ya liberally.
`
There is nothing more soothing than
a day in a canoe. No loitering. rocking
or hopping up/down in the pink canoe
`
I recommend this common sense advice:`
No take along a Chihuahua, a dachshund,
or a spam pit bull with panic-attack traits.
`
That won't bother 12- year olds. Oy politico!
They shiver and shake if they eat peach scone,
pistachio ice cream cones, ay, belch bad breath.