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JULY 11, 2011 10:38PM

Men are just a bunch of @#$%^& sex addicts!

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A recent spate of articles I've read recently reminded me that a great deal of what I come across represents a person's opinion and not necessarily fact. That person has not carried out a double blind test or taken a statistically meaningful sampling of test subjects or thoroughly analysed a situation with the scientific rigour of a university approved unbiased methodology. No, I'm reading a person's opinion based on the sum total of their education and experience. But are a person's education and their experiences enough to correctly assess whatever it is they are giving their opinion about?

Dr. Marty Klein (b 1950) is an American sex therapist, educator and public policy analyst. I am fond of quoting his saying (he got this elsewhere): "The plural of anecdote is not data." How many times have I heard somebody state an opinion while substantiating that opinion with "I know a guy who..." I know a guy? One guy? Not ten out of a hundred guys, but one guy? "My neighbour told me the story of their cousin who..." What? Or how about all of us reading a headline in a newspaper: Dominique Strauss-Kahn, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Anthony Weiner or how about Tiger Woods, Jesse James and David Duchovny?

On June 30, 2011, the web site Project Syndicate, the world's pre-eminent source of original op-ed commentaries (About: Who we are), published an article by Naomi Wolf entitled "Is pornography driving men crazy?". This same article was reprinted by Al Jazeera with the lead-in Could the widespread availability and consumption of pornography in recent years actually be rewiring the male brain?

Ms. Wolf's article paints a dire portrait of men who look at pornography. In fact, as I read through the various points she makes in her article, it would seem that Ms. Wolf's conclusion is that the state of mankind, and here I am referring to the male sex, is on the brink of some apocalyptic sexual cataclysm the results of which will leave humanity without marriage, without relationships and without progeny due to a complete inability of the penis to become erect in the company of a real woman. I also make note of these lines from her piece:

There is an increasing body of scientific evidence to support this idea...

The hypothesis among the experts...

This article contains no references. There are no footnotes. Not a single link to a supporting document or university study.

Six years ago, I wrote an essay called "The Porn Myth," which pointed out that therapists and sexual counselors were anecdotally connecting the rise in pornography consumption among young men with an increase in impotence and premature ejaculation among the same population.

"An essay". "anecdotally connecting". Not a study, not a double blind test, not a university sanctioned unbiased methodology, no, an essay pointing out an anecdotal connection.

In the "The Porn Myth" by Naomi Wolf (The New York Mag - Oct 20/2003), the author makes the statement which sums up the gist of her article: The onslaught of porn is responsible for deadening male libido in relation to real women, and leading men to see fewer and fewer women as “porn-worthy.”

From there, I read

Here is what young women tell me on college campuses...

For two decades, I have watched young women...

When I came of age in the seventies...

The young women who talk to me on campuses...

The young men talk about...

I will never forget a visit I made to Ilana, an old friend... 

a conversation I had at Northwestern [with] a boy...

It occurs to me that I am not reading what one would construe as a scientific paper; I am just reading one person's opinion. This is an opinion based on this person's experiences. O... kay..., I say very slowly. But just how reflective of reality is this? Is the sky really falling?

Anthony Weiner. One guy. The prediction is that in the fall of 2011, the planet Earth will arrive at a population of 7 billion people. Anthony Weiner. One guy. Out of 7 billion people. Okay, Dominique Strauss-Kahn, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Anthony Weiner. 3 guys. Out of 7 billion people. Let me return to the list of names I wrote previously: Dominique Strauss-Kahn, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Anthony Weiner plus Tiger Woods, Jesse James and David Duchovny. 6 guys. Out of 7 billion people.

Cars vs. Parachutes
In a fit of bravado, maybe male bravado, I did a tandem parachute jump last year. Before doing it (Parachuting: If God had meant me to...), I did a little research into the safety of the sport.

In the United States, there are over 3 million jumps each year and about 30 people die as a result. This works out to approximately 1 death for every 100,000 jumps. So, your chances of dying by doing a skydive are 1 in 100,000.

In comparison, 40,000 people die each year in car accidents. That works out to 1.7 deaths per 100 million vehicle miles. If we take the average person driving 10,000 miles a year, you have a 1 in 6,000 chance of dying in a car accident.

You are almost 17 times more likely to die getting in your car than by jumping out of an airplane; 1 in 100,000 versus 1 in 6,000. However the web site howstuffworks explains why we're afraid:
  • Skydiving accidents are so infrequent, they usually hit the headlines. In contrast, car accidents are so frequent, they are either not reported or we just tend to ignore them.
  • Familiarity: we are familiar with cars; we drive them; nothing bad happens; we think it's safe. It's only when we check out the stats we may clue in to just how dangerous cars really are.
We pick up a newspaper. We read the headlines. We get a piece of information which tells us to worry about something but are we worrying about the right thing?

What's the real problem?
On page 2 of Naomi Wolf's article "The Porn Myth", she writes, "The young men talk about what it is like to grow up learning about sex from porn."

Cindy Gallop is a New York entrepreneur, author and self-professed cougar. In her book "Make Love Not Porn", she talks about dating younger men and discovering their entire sex education has come from porn movies. Many would immediately jump to the hasty conclusion that porn is bad but Ms. Gallop points out that the issue is not porn at all. We all do it, yet we don't talk about it. Most parents are too embarrassed to teach their children about sex and talk to them about the issues surrounding it. ... Most countries around the world have not formalized and integrated sex education into the educational system and curriculum. ... hardcore porn has become, be default, the sex education of today. Is it me or is that pretty sad?

What are the "real" stats?
World Health Organisation: Global Status Report on Alcohol - 2004
The World Health Organization (WHO) estimates that there are about 2 billion people worldwide who consume alcoholic beverages and 76.3 million with diagnosable alcohol use disorders.

The current total world population (2010) is 6.8 billion but in 2004 it was around 6.4 billion. So, in 2004, 31% of all people consumed alcohol. 4% of the drinkers had a problem or 1% of the total. It stands to reason that some people who watch pornography would have a problem but I return to the idea of nobody is proposing to outlaw alcohol.

In the book "A Billion Wicked Thoughts", two authors wrote about their study of the Internet search patterns of 650,000 users. An interview in Time Magazine with the author Ogi Ogas had a reporter asking the question, "Did you find evidence that porn is addictive?"

We looked at individual search histories for half a million people using an AOL data set [which does not identify the users]. It seems to be less than 2% of people, among the people who search for porn, who have a significantly elevated number of searches.

The World Health Organisation estimates that 4% of all drinkers have a problem. Dr. Ogas concludes that less than 2% of the users in their AOL study demonstrated a significantly elevated number of searches suggesting a possible problem such as addictive behaviour. In my posting Pornography: My conclusions, I wrote about those proposing the prohibition of sexual materials with the idea: no porn, no problem.

Alcoholics go to Alcoholics Anonymous. Drug addicts go to Narcotics Anonymous. Compulsive gamblers go to Gamblers Anonymous. Is everybody who takes a drink an alcoholic? No. Is everybody who takes a toke a drug addict? No. Is anybody who lays down a bet a compulsive gambler? No. I think you can see where I'm going with this. Anecdotal cases of men wrapped up in Internet porn and ignoring their wives is indicative of men who have a problem, a personal problem. Let's not bring back prohibition to deal with one man's problem.

The so called facts
There are statistics being tossed around which if not being just outright lies, are being completely misinterpreted. It is quite evident that special interest groups with their own agenda are playing fast and loose with the numbers in order to back up conclusions they have made without the rigor of scientific method.

Facts are not decided by how many people believe them. Truth is not determined by how loudly it is shouted.
- sign at the Rally to Restore Sanity, October 30, 2010, Washington DC

In my blog Pornography: Statistics Laundering I write about an investigative reporter for the Washington Post who tells how a U.S. politician says that child pornography is a $20 billion a year business. This is repeated by the New York Times. The reporter traces the number to the National Centre for Missing and Exploited Children which got its numbers from the consulting firm McKinsey & Co. which got its numbers from an advocacy group called End Child Prostitution, Child Pornography and Trafficking of Children for Sexual Purposes which got its numbers from the FBI who say they never said that. The reporter says he never did find out where this number came from.

In this April 2007 article titled Is pornography addictive? the author states, "Now there are an estimated 420 million adult web pages online." I think all of us would be duly impressed by such a number; it seems like a lot; in fact, it seems like a mountain. However, in my blog Pornography: How much is there on the Internet? I discovered the estimated size of the Internet is 24 billion pages. 420 million is merely 1.75% of the total however in my own experiments outlined in my blog; I estimated the amount of adult material to be less than 1% with 1% equal to 240 million. It is interesting that the number 420 million comes with no references so I can't verify it. When my own calculations come out quite differently, I have to doubt the legitimacy of this estimate.

It is this sort of presentation of statistics which I find very misleading. Anybody would say 420 million is a large number, a large scary number but in the context of the entire Internet, it is not just small; it is insignificant. My conclusion is that people are presenting numbers and deliberately leaving out other numbers to portray the situation not as a minor problem but as a catastrophe of Biblical proportions. In reality, the sky is not falling.

Final Word
Naomi Wolf is not a scientist. In fact, any research she has done seems to be based on her personal experiences. Her conclusions are based on anecdotes. In reading other background information on the author and her work, especially the criticisms of both her conclusions and her supporting information, I can't help thinking that as a supposed expert, Ms. Wolf may have done what I have seen many others do. They start with a theory then attempt to find "facts" to support it. The Wikipedia link in the references below has some interesting things to say about Ms. Wolf's "methodology".

However the most important point about this article "Is pornography driving men crazy?" is this: Ms. Wolf has no solution. She describes, she condemns, she laments but she doesn't solve. No, she doesn't truly solve. In her analysis, the solution is to take porn out of the picture and the problem goes away.

Prohibition did not work. Why? People like to drink. And don't forget that only 4% of the drinkers have a problem. That means 96% of the drinkers use the product wisely and enjoy themselves. Do we bring back prohibition because of the 4%?

Ms. Wolf writes, "The young men talk about what it is like to grow up learning about sex from porn." You're kidding me, right? Your solution is to remove porn? First of all, that solution ain't gunna work. It is so impractical; you can take that number right off the table immediately. Secondly, young men learn about sex from porn? Where are Mom and Dad? Where are the schools? How in heavens name did anybody arrive at a point in their life where they may be contemplating having sex and yet nobody has given them any instruction on sex, relationships, emotions and the basics of interacting not just with the opposite sex but with people in general? Are people learning how to drink by watching Hangover and Hangover II? Are people learning how to socially interact with people by watching the Expendables or a Tarantino/Rodriguez Grindhouse movie? (Don't get me started on violence on TV ! Carnography: Vegetarians need not apply)

Ms. Wolf is an observer and as a writer, she writes about her observations. I would suggest she is also a fearmonger who promotes her own narrow view of the world and the status of relationships between the sexes. She offers no concrete, practical solutions to any of the issues mentioned in her articles. Focusing on the obvious without looking at the underlying issues is tantamount to saying, "If we get rid of all the fire trucks, all fires will stop."

The next time you pick up a paper and see a headline about Dominique Strauss-Kahn, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Anthony Weiner, Tiger Woods, Jesse James or David Duchovny, I would remind you there are another 7 billion people on the planet (minus 6) who are not in the headlines. Sky-is-falling, apocalyptic rhetoric scares the public and distorts its perception of the issues. We cannot properly address an issue if misinformation prevents us from properly assessing the issue.

Parents, how about talking to your children?


References

Wikipedia: Naomi Wolf
Naomi Wolf (born 12 November 1962) is an American author and political consultant. With the publication of The Beauty Myth, she became a leading spokesperson of what was later described as the third wave of the feminist movement.

my blog: Book Review: Make Love Not Porn by Cindy Gallop

my blog: Cindy Gallop: Make Love Not Porn

The New York Mag - Oct 20/2003
The Porn Myth by Naomi Wolf
The whole world, post-Internet, did become pornographized. Young men and women are indeed being taught what sex is, how it looks, what its etiquette and expectations are, by pornographic training—and this is having a huge effect on how they interact.

Al Jazerra - Jul 2/2011
Is pornography driving men crazy? by Naomi Wolf
Could the widespread availability and consumption of pornography in recent years actually be rewiring the male brain?

Project Syndicate - Jun 30/2011
Is pornography driving men crazy? by Naomi Wolf
It is hard to ignore how many highly visible men in recent years (indeed, months) have behaved

my blog: Pornography: an investigation
10 articles; 1 set of conclusions; 58 pages; 22,000 words; 4 weeks of research.

2011-07-11

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Comments

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I agree that there's a lot of hype around sex addiction and porn now, but I'm in the camp of people who believe sex addiction is a legitimate disorder. Don't know if it's as dire and widespread as some authors believe, but I think sex is used by some people, just as alcohol, food, or gambling is used -- to regulate mood, avoid intimacy, avoid dealing with the present. If sexual activity causes shame and financial disaster (some people do lose their jobs due to lowered productivity from porn, visiting massage parlors and prostitutes) and destroyed marriages, despite the person's efforts to stop, I'd call that addiction.

p.s. Very well-researched article! :)
Speaking of mental disorders, what's yours, Joisey? I posit high-functioning autism.
I'm sure Freaky Troll understands.
Loved your analysis in this piece. And, frankly, isn't hiding soft porn magazines in the rafters, under the beds, behind the toilets, and in discreet corners of unused rooms a rite of passage? It was for me (even though I'm a girl...wonder what the stats on women/porn are?) and it will be for my kids, I'm sure.

I agree with Pauline that there are serious problems with people who are obsessed to the point of addiction, but most of those "addicts" you mentioned are more likely the beneficiaries of the well-timed exposure of the "scientific data" you so interestingly dispute. A high percentage of men in my group of divorced friends have cited sex addiction as their reason for straying. Nice try, guys.

Rated.
There's too much employment in criminalizing/pathologizing unpopular behaviors for a laissez-faire 'tude to prevail. Count on more behavioral epidemics in the news.
Great post. I loved the quote about multiple anectdotes not equating to data. Thanks for this. r.
Even Osama read porn. Al Jezzera will skip over that point i bet.
the problem is that so often such an analysis is rooted in polemics, ideology, and projection. sexual deprivation is a problem of the spirit. it has to be considered such, otherwise you are simply going in circles.

i don't get from this that wolf is a seminal thinker, but more of a journalist. the search has to go deeper, but it takes work, and few care enough to make the effort. they'd rather repeat the past and it sells more books, tapes, etc.

i'm not being critical. any serious stab at talking about sexuality is a risk and worthy of recognition. most run.
Its not so much porn that is driving men crazy as it is the half truths, and outright lies you cited. Between the media that feed on those lies, and the people who promulgate them, I sometimes feel as though the truth has little chance of survival.
naomi klein is basically probably correct in her facts. is porn messing up male heads? it could be true but if so its evolution in action. women are averse to those guys. she doesnt acknowledge this basic feedback loop. guys do what women want, women do what guys want, guys do what guys want, women do what women want. it all works out eventually in the wash.
the basic idea that porn triggers dopamine rewards in male brains is probably totally true. but I bet shopping triggers dopamine in female brains. are females addicted to internet shopping? should we have a scary article about how they are so focused on it that they dont care about guys any more? Im serious, I wouldnt be surprised if its at least as prevalent. naomi doesnt really seem to have a big point after all that. its very simple, guys that are obsessed with porn are not gonna get dates, and women are developing a nose to sniff em out and avoid em, and focus on those that remain. her anecdotes support that. anyway though much more on evolutionary psychology [which she is half-*ssedly quoting the research, without much seeming to realize it] in my blog.
I really enjoy this sort of analysis William. And thanks for introducing me to that "The plural of anecdote is not data" quote. Keep exposing this mush.
Before porn was widely available, young men learned about sex from nowhere. They still sucked at sex, though they realized they were ignorant. Either way, they have to learn.

When people start beating their breasts about men (or women) acting normal and not like the idealized monogamists of social myth, they are arguing with biology. The solution is for people to have lots of sex starting very young, to speak frankly about sex so that the young can learn, and to jettison the social stigma associated with sexual behaviors such as having multiple partners.

We could also simply refuse to feed the drama when someone's sex life is dragged out into the open, regardless of who they are. It's not that a few men are cads and there are billions who are not. It's that all of us are more sexual than we care to admit, and the constant tension between reality and the social myth is endlessly destructive. Speaking of repeated observation, how many times do we have to watch the pretense of perfect life-long, or even serial, monogamy blow up before we admit that we are describing human sexuality all wrong?
Great research. Happy to see someone put a premium on real data and not just opinion or hearsay.
re the Billion Wicked Thoughts book. this is indeed excellent modern research on the subj, Ive read some synposes and I generally agree with the findings. however above they have a mistaken non sequitur, that maybe people who are sex addicts could actually be identified by their anomalous search queries. that is conceivable, but its a massive assumption which I dont see anyone qualifying.
as for sex as an addiction, I agree that it is quite real, in fact I would assert you are understating the case-- neuroscientists are finding that arguably *all* addictions are rooted in the sex pleasure brain mechanisms. its the same pathways, the same neurotransmitters, the same centers. has anyone noticed how similar aspects of sex are to eating?? this is surely not a coincidence. its all wired up together, intertwined.
as for your title, "men are a bunch of sex addicts". evopsych has a lot to say on this, its all proven. men are visually aroused more than women. women are in a sense intellectually aroused with romance novels/erotica. a simple experiment proves that men are more amenable to sex outside of relationships-- approaching men or women on a campus and the questioner asking them if they want to have sex [with the stranger questioner]. the rates are radically altered for M-F vs F-M responses. as for sex inside a "committed" [codeword for "monogamous"] relationship, it is possible that the desire of the sexes tends to even up, although I havent seen this measurement.
sometimes I wonder if the basic turn-on cue for men is indeed naked women, and the basic turn-on for women is .. quite in contrast... monogamy! it would tend to explain most evopsych findings....
but, naomi wolf seems to be glossing over a basic concept. young guys are basically just not that familiar with sex, not due to lack of *interest* but due to lack of *experience*. therefore, their background is indeed built out of bits-and-pieces of whatever, pop culture, porn, movies, tv, rumors by friends, etcetera.... is it unrealistic? of course, that has probably been true of every single generation since the beginning of the human race.... isnt that one of the whole pts of growing up, is figuring out the inherent mysteries of sex??? using whatever is available?
moreover, what is the terrible crisis if guys are watching a lot of porn and getting ideas from it? the feminists always cry foul as if its inherently bogus/disastrous/horrid, or whatever. but, can someone tell me in what ways it actually messes up guys brains....? isnt the opposite quite possible that it primes them to try to figure out the differences between real women and obvious simulations? and by the way I say this as someone who consumes very little porn personally....
and by the way, is Naomi Wolf in a relationship or not? how many has she had? how successful? Id like to hear THAT statistic before she quotes any others.... ah, but she's evasive in all her essays on the subj, it would seem.....
"...therapists and sexual counselors were anecdotally connecting the rise in pornography consumption among young men with an increase in impotence and premature ejaculation among the same population. "
at least she qualifies this by saying ANECDOTALLY, as you reiterate.
however, is there any statistics at all that show there is "an increase in impotence and premature ejaculation" in males over recent years??? oh yes those are terrible scary bogeymen, but hey Naomi newsflash, impotence and premature ejaculations have been around as men have!! and indeed, one could probably find evidence that incidence of premature ejaculation in particular is correlated with youth....
"Given the desensitization effect on most male subjects, researchers found that they quickly required higher levels of stimulation to achieve the same level of arousal. The experts I interviewed at the time were speculating that porn use was desensitizing healthy young men to the erotic appeal of their own partners."
naomi is pretty strong on the overall research but very weak on all the loopholes. maybe the studies, which I have not seen, actually prove that viewing porn desensitizes men to.... PORN!! that is conceivably the case with some men.... this would catastrophically undercut her thesis-- watching lots of porn makes men BORED OF PORN.....in favor of REAL WOMEN.....
"Understanding how pornography affects the brain and wreaks havoc on male virility permits people to make better-informed choices....."
yeah thats quite a switcheroo she does in her essay midstream, to concluding the essay with assuming the very radical premise she sets out to prove....
again, I wouldnt be surprised if exactly the *opposite* can be supported with lots of research-- that porn in many senses actually increases male desire, libido, and virility.....
I finally found time to read this after seeing it around here for a few days and am glad I did. Well supported and written. Sadly, many so-called educated persons are clueless when it comes to understanding how to interpret statistically based research. When it comes to "anecdotal research" discernment it's even worse. Thanks for taking time to post this thoughtful piece.
lets see, suppose suppose a male takes naked pictures of his sig.other and uses them for personal enjoyment.... gasp... is this PORN??? that desensitizes him to his own REAL PARTNER??? *gasp*.... I have to laugh.... maybe naomi klein is just so darned upset and spooked-out about guys because she doesnt have much experience with em herself!!! if anyone knows of any evidence to the contrary, Id be happy to read that....!!!
sorry naomi **wolf**... I read em & get em mixed up when typing haha
I'm glad that someone else noticed how bizarre it was that Al Jazeera syndicated an article from Naomi Wolf. I appreciate your complaints with her, but clearly, she is not a scientist, and never pretends to be: she is a politically liberal feminist. Now, I am reserved about my opinion about her and the article, because, from personal experience, I have known marriage broken from what I would attribute to the man's porn addiction, which did in effect ruin the sex in the marriage, which lead to divorce. But then again, I'm kind of with Camille Paglia about culture, because she's obviously the better read and a more critical thinker. But the thing about feminism is it is more political than intellectual: the 1960's adage, "the personal is the political," still has lots of resonance, because in so many societies, both historical and contemporary, women's lives have been only private, and not by choice. Still, this is a very worthy article, very well thought out and notated, and I appreciate your attention to the subject.
What confuses me is the apparent attempt by porn opponents to establish equivalence between what a man tries to learn about sex from porn and what people ought to be taught about sex by schools and parents.

"Most parents are too embarrassed to teach their children about sex and talk to them about the issues surrounding it..."

Okay, granted. But porn doesn't even pretend to teach you about STDs, pregnancy, and the biological details of male and female genitalia. I took health in tenth grade. It covered a lot of information about sexual matters, but I don't think anybody learned how to screw in that class, and if they did, I'm amazed there wasn't a criminal prosecution. I agree that porn is not a good way to learn about sex, but I think you learn about the actual practice of sex by doing it. Are people like Klein and Gallop suggesting that parents and schools should actually be giving children detailed instructions about how to copulate?
This is a facinating article and I've been wondering about this issue too, particularly in regard to DSK et al. One thing is obvious: men eat up Wolf's theory because it lets them completely off the hook. "I couldn't help cheatin' on you, honey, 'cause my brain's wired differently. Just read this book by Naomi Wolf where she spells it all out!"

Rated.
Just came to look for new comments and realized I wrote "Klein" instead of "Wolf," same as did vzn above. He infected me, he did. Wish we could edit comments. I'm an idiot.
I appreciate your inquiry, and I know that sex is about mates, and family, or say, dating, or just release. It all comes back to one (or more) individuals. I have to admit to a vehement outcry about porn and our elected representatives or public servants, ie, governmental agency regulators found downloading porn while neglecting their jobs, ie the regulation of deep water oil drilling, and the oversight of Wall Street, both recent crisis' revealing that's what was happening instead of oversight.
I appreciate your inquiry, and I know that sex is about mates, and family, or say, dating, or just release. It all comes back to one (or more) individuals. I have to admit to a vehement outcry about porn and our elected representatives or public servants, ie, governmental agency regulators found downloading porn while neglecting their jobs, ie the regulation of deep water oil drilling, and the oversight of Wall Street, both recent crisis' revealing that's what was happening instead of oversight.
Okay, they're not JUST a bunch of sex addicts. There's more to them than that, and some don't qualify as sex addicts. Happy now?

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