WriterVixen

WriterVixen
Location
SF Bay Area, California, USA
Birthday
September 26
Bio
I'm Deborah Hymes, a corporate communications crackerjack, social media maven, blogger and content creator—the owner of WanderNot, Inc., a creative communications company. My posts offer cheeky thoughts and observations on pop culture, relationships, the single life, stupid human tricks, and anything else floating past my field of vision. I live on a small island in San Francisco Bay, and I have an abiding weakness for Italian fountain pens, Chanel lipsticks, and fabulous shoes.

MY RECENT POSTS

JANUARY 11, 2010 4:42PM

The TMI Epidemic

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TMI 150x150 

People are always telling me more than I want to know. This happens so frequently that I wonder if my face somehow sets up an expectation of sympathy and understanding that my personality can’t deliver on.

Waiting in line is a particularly hazardous undertaking. The bank, the post office and the grocery store offer endless opportunities to trip a TMI landmine. Like people in movie theaters who forget that they’re not sitting in their living rooms—where they apparently take phone calls during movies and talk back to the screen—something about standing still somehow causes people to forget the concept of social boundaries and prompts them to indiscriminately share their personal lives.

Or maybe it’s just something about standing in proximity to me. Clearly inspired by my utter lack of interest, strangers constantly launch into long-winded stories about their marriages, their relationships, their sex lives (or lack thereof), their aches and pains, their political opinions, their mothers.

Pull-Quote #1 - TMI

Mothers are a favorite topic among oversharers—especially among women of a certain age. Many are apparently burdened with unreasonable mothers whose endless demands exasperate them to distraction. (I’m thinking that if you get to be middle-aged without managing to set appropriate boundaries with your mother, then maybe TMI isn’t your worst problem. But I digress.)

I blame Facebook and Twitter. We live in an era of exhibitionism that encourages oversharing. In a moment of excruciatingly poor judgment, Penelope Trunk tweeted her miscarriage, then later tried to justify it as a discussion about a workplace issue that women deal with. But everyone saw it for what it was: a vulnerable moment made uncomfortably public by easy access to social media. (Stop me before I tweet again!)

Pull-Quote #2 - TMI

I’ve had more than one budding friendship derailed by TMI. Sometimes people feel too comfortable too soon. There’s a rhythm to the evolution of a new relationship—sensitive information requires a context. If we’re on a first date, then your story of bad sex with a crazy ex-girlfriend who stalked you constitutes 95% of everything I know about you.

First-date TMI can be chalked up to jitters, but how to explain the new acquaintance who suddenly veers into intimate details about her marriage? Like taking a wrong turn into a bad neighborhood, a pleasant conversation over a glass of wine unexpectedly morphed into a monologue about the balance of power in her relationship, the state of their finances, and the details of their marriage counseling.

Among other things.

Unable to stop her, I listened to everything with the sinking realization that I would never again be able to chat with her husband without feeling profoundly embarrassed for knowing too much about him.

Or spend time with her without the discomfort of knowing so much more about her than I was willing to reveal about myself to someone whom I barely know.

 ____________________________________

Twittering vixenish things @WriterVixen

 

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Comments

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You're right about that. I worked with someone who brought in photos of her naked girlfriend giving birth to their daughter. Like, WTF? Standing around with male colleagues, all of us politely going, 'lovely baby', when the baby was only half way out, was the weirdest thing of my whole life.
I was at a sports retail store yesterday. A woman walked up with a parrot on her shoulder. She informed me h what biking gloves were good, then wandered over to 2 young girls trying on jackets. Next thing you know they were posing with the parrot and since they were nearby I was privvy to the conversation, in which the bird woman shared 1) her discount code because she used to work there, 2) her email address (and she asked for theirs) and the fact that she used to weigh 130 pounds before she had surgery. I was somewhat taken aback, listening to all of these easy intimacies. It made me feel creeped out, actually- there wasn't *real* bonding going on, just a ritual exchange of TMI as if they all thought they had to go through this dance before they could extricate and move on to their business. It was so *odd*.
It's well established that people are enthralled by vixens.
I'm with you. Why, in God's name, did I have to listen to the cell conversation of a woman in front of me in line at the bank, talking in detail about her colonoscopy?
Great post. R
Especially cell conversations, horrible details and people on the phone in the restroom, on the train everyone held captive by the embarrassing details of a loud crude young women. Yuck. R
So you're saying I should maybe hold off on my post, "My Hemorrhoid Surgery (WITH PICTURES!)?"

And may I just say: just try punctuating that quotation; my Chicago Manual burst into flames.
To well said, my oldest daughter called me on the telephone to yell at me for not answering her text messages. My phone is set to ignore all text messages, I had someone else do it, plus I didn't care to learn how to do it. The old adage, That's way more information, than I needed to know, applies. Nice piece, o/e