I’m a fractious Beverly Hills JAP but I am one.  I saw the Old World’s last, and arguably most famous, act.  

I swam in Jayne Mansfield’s heart shaped pool.  I sailed on the France when doves flew into the ballroom at midnight, beluga in pyramids, no big deal.  I ate tins for lunch.  My best friend’s parents were movie stars. Other kids’ parents were famous but I was The Rich Kid.  WE had the apartment in New York.  I had the famous decorator bedroom.  

My mom’s Ladies’ Charity shows were Frank Sinatra, Johnny Carson, Dean Martin, Sammy Davis Jr., on and on, ‘Western’ themed, with lots of whee-ha.  I saw Richard Pryor yell FUCK YOU at one as his ACT until he was shoved off, then Isaac Hayes sang “Shaft” in chains.  My dad’s new ‘64 Bentley had chinchilla rugs and my mom had a jaguar coat.  Got a pic of me with LBJ.  We had black, uniformed servants but our English domestics had The Portuguese working for them at our house on Wilton Crescent in The Big Smoke.

My Failure To Thrive with such blessings was conspicuous - and in the only bad way.  My mind was too slow to grasp that the Theory of Relativity began with mores, which move like greased lightening.  Fuck, I’m a fixed sign.

My brother, who is non-handicapped – hustla - lokez scene b ill.  More than one person has ‘joked’ that if I don’t shut up he’s going to pop me.  

I had my ‘twenties after my masterpiece, who I raised myself, left for (ahem) Yale.  My real ‘twenties blew due to rigorous wifedom and a screenwriting career.  I got the PARTY! gist quickly and sustained no wounds that aren’t useful.  It turned out okay.

Books 

THE SPARKY SHOW- Published by Weaponized in September 2010. 

www.weaponized.net

Meta-physics and mechanics in the nude, with sex and drugs. An exploding dossier of words and photography of a doomed and perfect relationship, retrofitted with psilocybin. Love is a gun. Shove it up the crack of the Multiverse, demand what you want. 

Xandu Xero is unable to understand the desire of the female species for romance over sensation. 

A report from the trenches of love post culture, mid-life. Not your average empty-nest Beverly Hills Mom. 

There is no moving on. 


Sites 
xanaduxero.blogspot.com
xanaduxero.tumblr.com