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XJS AND ME

XJS AND ME
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Wausau, Wisconsin, Yes, better than city
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January 18
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Hey, You
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keep my own with several personalities
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My bio is degradable Official litter changer Don't give a damner Not subject or vulnerable to judgemental assholes. Happily born aqain single Gym rat Golf rat Fishing rat Just plain old rat

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Salon.com
MAY 16, 2011 6:18PM

Back in the U.S.A. Part V

Rate: 9 Flag

I liked to go see the country and it was nice to have someone like Nina to share these little trips.

We didn't just hang around San Francisco and get high.

We went to Death Valley, up the California coast to Oregon, down to Big Sur and a lot of different spots.

There is a part of Death Valley that has little canyons which go a ways back in.

We ran after each other in these and laughed when one of us would catch the other.

I think the other 'tourists" hated us butt, the younger ones wanted to do the same.

We'd find out of the way places along the coast where we could be totally alone together.

It was a different existence to be alone together somewhere where you couldn't be seen and could hear the waves crashing.

Only memories today butt, they're mine and I savor them still. I hope that, wherever Nina is, she feels them the same way.

I would talk to her about not going to school and she said that she wasn't happy at home or in school.

I was always careful to not do any of that "you should" stuff that I, myself hated when I heard it from someone.

So we had a nice relaxed and loving relationship.

Nina was very gentle and quiet. She was what you could term 'ladylike".

She didn't cuss and, because of all that, I pretty much watched how I spoke to her.

We were like this for almost a half of that year and wanted it to be forever.

One afternoon, while we were in the Haight, Nina saw someone she new from L.A.

She really didn't want to talk to the other girl butt, the girl saw us so she had to talk to her.

The girl told Nina that her brother was back and had asked about her.

So, when we got back to the house, Nina called her mother and spoke with her brother.

I was never an eavesdropper so I waited till she was done and knew she'd want to talk about it.

She told me that her brother was going to stay around L.A. and that her mother was going to get married.

She was going to marry a cop.

Well, that was not what either of us wanted to hear because of our lifestyle and Nina's knowing him and how he was.

She said that she had to go home to see her brother and to at least show up for the "wedding".

She didn't want to go. I didn't want her to.

I drove with her down to L.A. and, since we didn't want to be at her mother's house together, I gave her cab fare for the ride of about a mile.

I went back to S.F. lonely as hell.

All I could think of the entire time she was gone was her. I still think of her a lot, even after all this time.

She called me from L.A. and told me that she missed me and was miserable and lonely.

So was I.  Yes, so was I.

I could hear the sad lonliness in her voice.

It seemed to cry out~~~

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WCOiT5YGiIY

After what felt like 6 years of empty lonliness, Nina came home 6 days later.

Yeah, home. Our home.

Her birthday was coming up in a couple of weeks and I wanted it to be special.

After all, an 18th birthday is usually pretty special.

I had bought a couple of things for her, one was actually a dress~~in those times.

Not many younger people wore stuff like that back there and then butt, we both liked it and she looked fantastic.

We went to dinner and I had gotten flowers for her. I was one of those kind of guys after all.

I still am.

I remember that night like no other night in my life.

We had a really nice evening together and, we knew it would continue when we got home.

We would often spend what seemed like hours just holding each other while leaning against the counter in the little kitchen.

It was soft, warm. Loving.

We were there entwined when I told her happy 18th birthday.

Nine looked into my eyes for a few seconds and seemed confused and hesitant.

She said, "It's my 16th."

I didn't say a word.

What could I possibly say with the feelings I had for her?

Yeah, it made me think some thoughts that shouldn't have had to be there butt, they were.

She told me that she was afraid that I wouldn't want to be with her if she told me sooner.

Had I known before everything, I wouldn't have let things get like the way they had, it's true.

Or was I fooling myself? Would I have fallen for her anyway?

Butt, here we were, now, like this, so involved and entwined with each other.

I was 28 at the time. Nina was 16.

There are laws.

There are laws that don't take anything like love or caring into consideration.

Her mother married a cop.

Her brother knew a little about us.

I didn't know the slightest about being in a situation like this.

What do you do?

These feeling we had were real. They were legitimate.

Fuck the laws. We were in love.

The hardest conversations I ever had in my life were the gentle, loving talks we had while holding each other and wanting it to be forever.

I knew it wouldn't be. It couldn't be.

If this was another place, even in that time, it would have been what it should have.

Butt, here we were in up tight America with laws made by up tight unfeeling "adults" who were empty of true compassion for what was real between so many loving couples.

Some because of a situation like ours.

Some because of hateful racist laws.

It is still much like that.

Our hearts, so closely entwined that they beat as one were breaking, afraid, worried, frightened.

Remember, as I will always, what I said about her when we were new~~

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-kJaYeistEY&feature=related

What we did will be told in part VI

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Comments

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you let her go?
Rolling, you'll learn what happened in the next installment.
Surprise! Sixteen? Nina sure seemed more mature than her age in years. I am sure there is more to the story of what put her at that bridge where you found her. And, again, you weren't a jerk.
I am anxiously awaiting the next part...............r
I know!! I know!! You ran off together, and uh.......what?

Rated!!!!
I await more.. rated with hugs
This is so sad and in today's world it doesn't make much sense but at that time she was only 2 years away from a marriageable age, we were expected to be adult virgins at 18. I remember well those days as I'm not that much younger than your Nina.

I raised two daughters and though they knew much more about sex, drugs and technology, they and their girlfriends were far more immature emotionally than I was at their age. And the teens I know now are less mature than my girls were. I ran away at 15 and married a month later at 16, my children and their friends wouldn't have been able to handle the work or responsibility of marriage even at 18. It's just the way times have changed.

I leave this comment for those who are younger and may not understand that today's 20 year old isn't as mature or responsible as a 16 year old back then. Sad story, I almost hate to read the end. I'm glad at least you have your memories.
Blue, you are so correct about the girls, yes, girls of that time being so much more mature.
I remember that, even though she had quit school, Nina knew more about things in general than the high schoolers of today.
What she knew, she knew as a person.
Today, they seem as automatons with no depth of feel or realization of where they are, etc.
Most of those "hippie chicks" of the time were a lot smarter, both street and book than the average teenager if today.

You say, 'your Nina".
Yeah, she was mine at the time, all mine in all the right ways.
My my, but you know how to tell a tale, my friend. My my my,
My tell tale heart, huh Matt?
Interesting blindside. How to make your blood run cold.
KS, was made my blood run cold was not what she told me as you'll see next time.
Young hearts like yours don't ever stop loving.
Belinda, butt, butt, butt, who to love?
I'm old now and, nobody wants an old guy, no matter what he's made of.
My eyes almost popped out of my head when I saw that 16. And my heart sank a little like yours probably did.

Lezlie
L, My heart didn't sink butt, it got scared.